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The Diary of a Poet

Updated on May 29, 2017
Missy Smith profile image

Missy is a unique writer who enjoys inviting her readers into her thoughts through her poetry and other topics of discussion.  

My Thoughts on this Poem

Do you keep a journal or a diary? Through the years, I tried to keep my thoughts together by writing them down in one of these books. I never succeeded and I always wondered why? After all, I like to write, I like to write down how I feel and my thoughts of why I do feel the way I feel. To me, it’s self-therapy, but more than that, it’s something I enjoy doing.

However, writing in a diary or journal has been the hardest thing for me. I must have purchased ten journals through the years with the best intent to sit down every night and pretend like I was Laura Ingalls Wilder from the Little House on the Prairie books and write my story, not the one that played Laura Ingalls Wilder, of course, but the one who wrote the books about her own life. After all, those were her journals put into words and made into a story, and I admired that.

Even so, my best efforts fizzled out after a month or two, and I placed them in a drawer, then would find them later and hate what I had written in them anyway. They were always sorrowful, not in a poetic way, but in a plain boring and sad way. In the garbage or in the fire, they would go, and I would sit and think to myself about my miserable life and how it, at no time, would ever make an interesting memoir, it was just not fantastic enough.

I still enjoyed writing through the years, never finding much success at it, but keeping it as a hobby. I had children and other jobs through the years that would take it away for long periods of time, but I would gravitate back to it eventually;taking writing courses and trying to freelance. I attempted to publish in a few magazines as well, and although the rejection letters were surprisingly not heartbreaking enough to make me give up, they were quite the opposite. They were very helpful and encouraging.

Time got in the way very often, and around Christmas time 2014, I ran across an ad for a poetry contest that the website Poetry Nation put on every year. I went there, discovered it wasn’t too late to enter, and I, without knowing how to begin a poem, started writing. I found this actually really easy, and I felt energized with the process.

I entered the poem, and even though I did not win, or as of yet, I have heard nothing of the winners, they did send me a letter stating I was one of the semi finalists, and with that, my poem will be published with about 300 other poems in a book Poetry Nation will put out through Amazon and Barnes and Noble. It’s called “Beyond the Sea,” and as I don’t know when it will be available yet, I can’t wait until it is.

This poem I came up with today, had me thinking of all those times I tried so hard to write in a journal, and finally I realized that I needed a poet's view to make my life interesting. Now that I have found a great place like Hubpages to share my work with others who share my interest, I could not be happier. I hope you like my latest poem.


Poetry Diary pg. 1

This is my way of letting you know without letting you know, speaking

words that will be left unspoken.

This is my way of feeling pain without showing the tears on my

face, crying in silence in my own reverie.

I swallow hard, fighting every inch of the night and wonder

when I wake, will I be able to participate.

The days are long; it makes me sigh, to think about the days

I have ahead and the days I leave behind.


Poetry Diary pg. 2

I’m tired at the very least, but I must continue to make sense,

or I’ll no doubt just give in.

The fight has been hard, yet I hate to complain I have no right

to feel this sad way.

I struggle with guilt from keeping my secret and hope

God forgives me for my seemingly ungrateful features.

It is a misunderstanding, for I am quite grateful indeed;

it's just sometimes I find it hard to breathe in a world full

of racism and war.

My friend depression likes knocking on my door.


Poetry Diary pg. 3

If I could be happy at all times, and be able to understand this new

human nature that has changed from back when I was a child,

I would do so in a heartbeat. However, that’s not the reality

of the world we've created

I keep thinking to myself, there’s got to be a way to

fit into this life, without falling deep into the chaos of a hateful


Blossoming from a desert of dried-out vision, I’ve finally made a very positive


I’ll keep my visions planted toward the sky, that way I know I will and can

stay alive.

Media Recognition

All photos found through wikimedia commons and flickr through the Google advance search site.

All videos courtesy of YouTube.

© 2015 Missy Smith


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    • Missy Smith profile image

      Missy Smith 2 years ago from Florida

      As always pstraubie48, I thank you for your kind words and comments. :)

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 2 years ago from sunny Florida

      A mournful tone at first I felt in the poem but hope kept the eye toward the sky...and that is always a good know that we can survive what saddens us and may pull us into depression.

      In reference to the keeping of diaries and journals...yes I do have them and have done so throughout my lifetime. Most of them are not thoughts I would publish...just private meanderings...

      Hoping you have a good afternoon Angels are once again on the way to you ps

    • Missy Smith profile image

      Missy Smith 2 years ago from Florida

      Thank you clivewilliams. :)

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 2 years ago from Jamaica

      poets are a dieing breed, we don't get any good recognition in the writing world. Good article

    • Missy Smith profile image

      Missy Smith 2 years ago from Florida

      My drive is to make others see that they are not alone, aviannovice. I hope with all my heart that I do that. Your words to me are always so inspiring, and I feel extremely thrilled that you see my work in such a positive way. I hope I can make you proud, and I hope I can make myself proud by continuing to be brave enough to write my heart.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Life doesn't come with an owner's manual, but you are actually writing one. So many others feel the same way that you do, yet they will never admit it for fear of being the odd one out. Not only are you injecting your own words, you will let others know that they are not alone. As for the strife in society, simply by getting the word out, and your frank refusal to participate, will be a good start. Now go, and make me proud.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      wonderful writing Missy.. if the contest is on the up and up I hope you do win... bless you and Jodah is the perfect person to test your poetry with he is probably one of the finest poets here on Hubpages...

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      It sounds fine Missy a long as they didn't charge you money to include your poem in the book.

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 2 years ago from United States

      Nice work Missy and I really enjoyed reading about Laura Ingalls Wilder. Well done. whonu

    • Missy Smith profile image

      Missy Smith 2 years ago from Florida

      It was the first contest I entered for poetry Jodah, and it was quite surprising that I even made it that far. I assume they will send me a letter stating when they publish the book of poems. They told me the name of it and where I could purchase it, but I don't recall when they said it would be out.

      I don't know much about Poetry Nation, but I hope they are of good standards and true to their word. :) No royalties will be made to any of the poets though, it will go to keeping their website running.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Missy, one again beautiful poetry from you, this time in diary form. I can relate to what you wrote in your introduction. I have had many a diary with the intention of keeping a daily record of my life but it never turn out that way..they always transform into a notebook of thoughts and ideas for poems or hubs instead. Congratulations having a poem among those selected to publish in a book. Let me know when it is published. I have entered quite a few poetry contests too but never won, but have had a couple published in anthologies. Voted up.