The Door to Nowhere - My Response to a Picture Prompt Writing Challenge
Billybuc's challenge
A Writing Challenge: The Door to Nowhere
Come one, come all, a new test of your writing abilities awaits you.
Was it really only yesterday?
I can’t remember. My days don’t end. The sun comes up and it goes down again, but my eyes don’t close.
I don’t sleep, therefore there is no yesterday.
As I sit here playing endless games of backgammon with myself, I have no hopes of tomorrow, for it never comes if you don’t go to sleep, right?
I don’t mind being by myself in this tiny two room space I call home. Oh, wait. I have a bathroom. Three room space – excuse me.
I’ve been sitting on this floor so long I don’t even bother to pull out the couch. It’s extremely uncomfortable, but I don’t sleep anyway, so why bother? I’m too wired to have sex, so there’s another reason not to pull it out.
Ha ha. Did I just make a funny?
Here, let me show you around. This room is where I live. Here against the wall is my pull-out couch. I can’t remember the last time I pulled it out; it’s uncomfortable and takes up too much room in my 300 square foot efficiency. Over there, against the opposite wall is my little TV sitting on top of an empty spool of electrical wire. You’d never know it's an empty spool. I’m quite the decorator and have it disguised by a turquoise-colored tablecloth. Next to it are my speakers and a primitive stereo system. Gotta have music, doncha know?
Do you enjoy picture prompt writing challenges?
Follow me. Over here, a few steps to the left is my kitchen. Yep, I’ve got a fridge, a tiny stove and a sink. If’n ya gotta pee, just turn to the right and walk right in. What do you mean that’s gross? I find it pretty convenient.
Yeah, I have a couple of windows to let the light in, even though it hurts my eyes, but curtains take care of that.
I’ve got six cats. They’re my buddies. I take good care of them. I give them love and make sure they’re fed. And they love me in return. They are free to come and go through the front door, cuz I leave it open for them. The only time I venture out is to go to work. I can’t even tell you what I do for a living right now; it’s a blur, but I must have put whatever I do on automatic pilot. I’m good at that. Automatic pilot lets me fly.
Oh, sorry, I got off track. Walk over here with me and take a look in my fridge. Let’s see… there’s Vodka in the freezer (saves on ice), juice, and iced tea. There’s a ton of hot dogs. That’s what I feed my cats when I run out of cat food.
As for me, well I’m a helluva cook, but that’s a lot of effort for one person who has no appetite anyway. When was the last time I ate?
Was it really only yesterday? Shit, I don’t know. Yesterday hasn’t happened yet; I’m still on the eternal “today”.
You might think I’m lonely, but I’m really not. I have people come over all the time. We play backgammon and once I even let someone write a poem in my journal of poetry. I write poetry all the time. It makes me feel alive. But I have to admit, to this day, I can’t put the face to the man whom I allowed to pen in my very private journal. Maybe one day I’ll show it to you, but he’s gone from my memory.
Anyway, back to what I was saying: I have people come over all the time. They bring me snow in a state that doesn’t get snow from the heavens. How cool is that?
Snow makes me really thirsty. Maybe because it makes me talk a lot and my throat gets dry. Anyway, I find vodka mixed with juice or iced tea – or water, if it comes down to that – keeps my snow-filled mind on an even keel.
I can go for days like that and never get hungry. Good thing – that means I only need to worry about feeding my cats. Besides, I think I look pretty good at 95 pounds.
I've gotten really good at playing backgammon. I beat everyone I challenge. Hell, I even beat myself when I play all by my lonesome. How do you play a two-person game with yourself? Well, you imagine someone is sitting on the other side of the board and you don’t cheat.
You’ve had snow days, I’m sure. They keep you inside and force you to entertain yourself. It’s no different when the snow comes in a form that doesn’t melt. At least as long as you don’t put water to it. I don’t do that. No. That would mean I have a problem. And I don’t have a problem. I just like the way I feel when it snows in Florida.
I can do anything. I’m extremely poetic and philosophical when it snows. I’m at my best. And I’m skinny. Whoo hoo, down to a size zero!
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Shit! I’m not only poetic and philosophical, but I’m intuitive. My boyfriend’s cheating on me – I can feel it. I go through that door – the Door to Nowhere. This time it leads me somewhere and I know exactly what I’ll do when I get there.
Fueled with Florida-provided snow and a steady dose of Vodka, I hop in my Toyota and head for a destination I know by heart. There’s no answer at the door, yet I hear voices, one of which belongs to the homeowner and the holder of my heart.
Italian, Irish, English, Scottish, German, and Cherokee – don’t mess with me!
I round the corner and make my way to the back yard. I’m coming in, dammit! I find a clay pot and throw it against the window. It bounces back to me like a rubber ball.
Now I’m really pissed!
I ball my right hand up into a fist and – voila! – contact! I break through the double-tempered window and climb through, dripping blood all over the place.
I must look a fright. The woman my boyfriend picked up in a bar - complete with black eye and obviously someone else’s problem - high-tails it out of there right quick. (To this day, I have a scar on my finger where I’d busted through the glass. If I hadn't been so fucked up, I probably would have ended up in the hospital.)
I don’t remember the ensuing conversation, but let’s just say that that night it stopped raining Vodka, but the snow continued to sprinkle my being.
I’ve made my point. I go home to heal my wounds and my broken heart.
Thank God for snow! However, I never touch Vodka again after that incident.
No worries, I’ll just substitute Rum for Vodka and carry on.
Was it really only yesterday? I can’t tell. I haven’t slept. How many days, weeks, months have gone by?
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Understanding the addict
Man, my nose burns. I’m right handed, so I do everything with the right side of my body. No problem, I have a left nose! It takes a bit of effort, but I train my left nose (nostril) to do the job of its stronger – and now depleted – counterpart.
Then it happens. I no longer like the way I feel when it snows, yet I can’t stop making my proverbial snow angels.
Snow does not angels make.
What do people do when they can no longer tolerate the weather? If they’re bold enough and strong enough, they move to a different environment, a different climate where they can breathe, where the doors open to vast expanses of knowledge and happiness.
I look at that Door to Nowhere and realize I've kept it shut. I can open it if I want to and get myself out of the hellhole that I've called home for far too long.
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I took a look at that door, bade it adieu, and never looked back.
I moved to a chillier climate, but one that would never be as chilly as the one that held the Door to Nowhere, for that door eventually leads to somewhere: Death.
I don’t regret not trying to open that door. I am happy I found a new one that is always open. Open to opportunity. Open to Love. Open to Life. Open to me!
Was it really only yesterday? No. I woke up. It was a lifetime ago.
Peace,
Bravewarrior
Shauna L Bowling
Refining, Defining, or Rhyming
All Rights Reserved
© 2015 Shauna L Bowling
Comments
On an unrelated note, I've seen you around Hubpages a lot, and I am beyond pleased to have the chance to get to know you.
As for your response to Bill's challenge, wonderfully done. The picture you painted of cocaine addiction is a sad, lonely, paranoid, and exhausting lifestyle.
I'm sure, like any drug, there is a glamour phase at the beginning, but once it's gone it's gone, and the long term effect sounds no damn fun!
Again, wonderfully executed.
Wow, that was a really creative use of that writing prompt. Very engaging.
Hi Shauna-I do write quite a bit about my family history of addiction and I find it incredibly healing. I too should think about getting it published on other venues besides hub pages and my blog. Glad I read this and have been inspired by you. XXOO
I love when animals "find" people who will care for them. This happened with a dog I met who was abandoned as a puppy, and his devotion to the woman who adopted him was heart-warming.
I am glad you were able to find each other.
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This is a descriptive, compelling piece. I find myself aghast at the idea of having six cats in such a small space. Well done.
Wow this was truly a great response to the challenge, and so very brave. The name bravewarrior so suits you and now I know why! Let me tell you the door to nowhere as you call it is in fact leading to a loving brave woman who has a lot to give to the world. Your lives experiences. My wish for you is happiness and peace. Great Post well done!
I love your style of writing which is why I'm back again for another read. When I latch on to talent such as yours I find that one read is never enough. The excitement of discovering new information with each read is addicting. A good addiction!
I think I must have lived a rather sheltered life:) Not in my wildest imagination would I have dreamed up this one. I loved this challenge and your take on it was excellent. Thanks for sharing.
Wow...I felt like I was in that painful world of nothing, where the silent screams just came and there was no reality, just high speed all the time. You did a great job on this.
You really stepped up to the challenge on this one. The analogy of the door to nowhere as the issue of addiction fit the bill perfectly. You are certainly a Bravewarrior and I'm so thankful that this turned out like it did. I knew a couple of people who faced this ongoing problem. One was a former boyfriend and he didn't make it. The other switched to another avenue that was almost as bad. Not sure if he made it or not. We lost contact over the years.
Your story was compelling and realistic. Well told and well done.
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The fact that this is based on your experiences makes it even more remarkable.
Oh my gosh Shauna-Chicken Soup for the Soul is perfect as they have a bunch of different categories of stories. I also like your idea of getting into places that work with addiction. Again, what a important issue. Sorry to hear of your losses with this disease. I lost mom when I was nine-she was only 39, my brother David died at 40 and almost lost my older sister who is now in recovery. Addiction is so prevalent and ruins lives. God Bless you my friend and please keep me posted. If there's anything I can do to help out, just let me know :)
I really hope and pray you think hard about it. Remember, it could save someone's life. I lost my brother to addiction; at his funeral we spoke frankly about the hellish life he lived. We learned that a handful of his friends that were struggling with addiction ,went straight to treatment because of David's tragedy. I see this as a very special mission you've been called to. Thinking about it gives me goose bumps. Love Linda
Oh my goodness Shauna-I have so many emotions going on right now with this Incredible story. I know your a strong woman who has been through many trials, but never knew this. You illustrate what it's like to live the life of an addict. This is one of the most poignant writings I have ever read. I am sharing this all over the place. You should really get this published or in a contest. I am beyond moved by this true account. What a powerful way to use Billy's prompt. Blessings
How very creative! I really enjoyed this all throughout. Hibernate - yes, that's what I do when heavy snows come in and I'd temporarily shut the door but I surely look forward to opening the door again with caution though. Remember one of my hubs, "The White Framed Door" --I almost spilled everything in there and it's pretty much self explanatory.
Great hub Sha!
Shauna, isn't it amazing how creative and philosophical and social we can be when we've simply taken the edge off with our "snow" of choice. The weather cleared up for me nearly six years ago. Thanks for this TRULY creative story. I enjoyed it very much.
You deserve it
I so enjoyed this........... It is amazing how the details of that time were brought to the fore by this challenge. Amazing piece of literature.
Beautiful story, you held my attention right to the end.
Stories like this can bring back many memories to the reader and sometimes for the good of their future. Thanks.
Hi! you have written a very good story and I admire you for it. Sometimes The Door to Nowhere can lead us to a better room and good opportunities but we need to open it and explore it first. Well done.
An overwhelming response to this great challenge.
Well if they have a read of Faith's tale I feel they may have patience. Or at least they should! Your creative soul if definitely flying free and thriving now. :)
Full credit to you for changing a destructive path and even more so for using your natural talent to let others see how things can change and there is always hope.
The account was shocking and sad in its simplicity of thought and you relayed it brilliantly. It is good to see that there are some real life happy endings left.
Your writing talent is too good to be shrouded by chemicals so we all benefit from your strength and courage in finding that new winning road.
Well written and scary as hell. I felt the roller coaster life and wondered how it was going to end. Then reading the comments and finding it was written from experience truly tore at my heart, not tugged but tore. Then I stopped to think of the woman you are today and my admiration (the admiration I've always had) now soared.
Not just an excellent answer to Bill's challenge but an excellent and chilling account.
Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting. Shared too.
A confusing mix of emotions in response to the opening question. An interesting read!
It is a great response to the challenge. So interesting and exciting twists throughout the story. Beautifully done.
Bravewarrior: WOW, what a profound account! I truly believe the best writers are those who pour their guts out with their true experiences. My granddaughter is engaged to an addict...it has been a nightmare.
Thank you for sharing this and I agree with Rhonda that every school should have a copy of this. Please consider sending this to newspapers and even magazines. Your story needs to be spread far and wide. You may save lives by doing this. And I thank Billy Buc for this challenge as he has done a great service to his Hub family because it has taken some of us out of our comfort zones and releasing our hearts. Voted up and awesome. God bless, Sparklea :)
I am just speechless after reading your Hub! I've had friends and family who have gone through all this, and only when they hit rock bottom did they open the door to recovery.
You are indeed a brave warrior!!
Voted UP, etc. and shared.
Brave warrior indeed, it takes a warrior to go through the hell of addiction, smashed down that door, take back your life and write something as brilliant as this. Inspirational and powerful.
absolutely - passed on
others need to know there is hope
Kim
I enjoyed this story, bravewarrior. You have not only entertained your reader, but also gave them something to ponder. Voted up and captivating :)
very powerful and an awesome response to Bill's challenge
Kim
Wonderfully shared. You have told the story of some that I know...caught in the web of that snow and other drugs that hold them in their grasp. Well done..
Angels are on the way to you today ps
Wow. That was awesome. The first-person perspective is very powerful. I too am glad that you woke up.
Hi, You held my attention right to the end and did a great job. We all have to open that door or die. This was power that carried you through.
I loved the ending here though it was a most dark road to get there. This should be posted in every high school in America. Kids really need to know the real road drugs leads one down not just the litany of don't don't don't that somehow seems to inspire more to do than not. Kudos!
Wow, I am glad that you finally got to wake up and enjoy life.
Hey Sha, Wow! Quite a descriptive journey and one that was overcome. Make me think of all the people who live this way daily. Sad, but realistic.
Thank you for sharing your powerful story here in this challenge. You are brave and a warrior, dear Sha. I knew this was about your life due to you answering my question the other day. You brought the reality home here and painted the life of an addict with your words so vividly before our eyes.
Up ++++ tweeting pinning, G+ and sharing
Love your new open door that leads to love, happiness and peace.
(((Hugs)))
Powerful and deep from in your gut, Sha.
Good job, Sha.
You made it sound depressingly realistic.
OMG, I just read where you said this is based on experience!!
Sha, you are a strong woman to change your life for the better.
God Bless You, Girl!!
DJ.
Wow what an amazing story Shauna. I started to read this late last night in bed but was just too tired, I had to come back this morning and so glad I did. Love how you referred to cocain as Florida snow and you captured the life of an addict to perfection (not that I'd know from personal experience). Great respones to Bill's challenge. Voted up.
Shauna, this is a very good response to the challenge. The fact that it is based on true life makes it more poignant. Well done, my friend.
Bill is right I think---you have captured the life of an addict here--just an excellent write!
Shauna, this is brilliant! You took this to a new high. ( Excuse the pun. ) you are such a gifted writer. Thank you. Hugs.
Sha......You made a very real torment, read like sci-fi fantasy. My heart raced as your character spoke from her weary, deadened mind. ...the whole time, wanting to reach out to her.
But as always within these tales, it is the one who has lost herself behind the door to nowhere, to "wake up" and find that door to somewhere.
Superbly done, Sha. BRAVO!...UP++++
Wow, Sha, you met this prompt writing challenge brilliantly! Held captive, I eagerly pranced from one paragraph to the next. Thanks and will share!
Well, that was a magical mystery tour. The writing was like dropping a cannon ball into a bowl of milk, it made quite a splash.
What an amazing story! Well written and keeps you intrigued from start to finish. Great response to the challenge!
Ann
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