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The Doorway of My Dreams

Updated on March 2, 2013
AudreyHowitt profile image

Audrey is a poet, classical singer and voice teacher, recovering attorney and licensed psychotherapist.

Martin D. Fried, 2007
Martin D. Fried, 2007 | Source






i stand at the doorway of my dreams

blue paint vibrating

against the palm of my hand

wondering whether to open the door


i touch the panel

sliding my hand down against grain

knowing that all I need to do is push


and if i were to do so

the hum of love would soak

my mind’s eye

and the wind would whisper

my name to your skin


the moisture of toes

dipped in pools

would stream to eye and line

and would dew cheek


and yet, the push

would cost--

a forgetting of sorts

an abandoning of pain

so long carried

in creases

of heart and mind

that an unfolding would,

by its nature,

expose tender points to sun

unnecessarily

they gather now

only in the creases after all

and inform the windshield of heart and eye


i sweep to one side their memory

for the moment

and slowly turn

the door, after all,

will still be there tomorrow



copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt August 11, 2012. Do not copy or use without the express written permission of the author.

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    • profile image

      heidi 

      3 years ago

      beautiful and touching, Audrey

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      4 years ago from California

      Thank you Ruby!! I think many of us have been there--

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Reading this again brought me back to a time when i stood on the other side of that door, tears welling. Beautiful Audrey!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      4 years ago from California

      I love that you enjoyed this Minnetonnka! Thank you!

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 

      4 years ago from Minnesota

      This poem is lovely Audrey. Letting go and opening our hearts to love is not an easy task but it is worth it. Love the ending :-)

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      4 years ago from California

      Thank you Lady_E!

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 

      4 years ago from London, UK

      Lovely and Inspiring. I just found it on Twitter. Thanks.

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      5 years ago from California

      Hi Raciniwa. Sorry about my late response to you. I just found this comment in my spam folder of all places! Thank you!!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      5 years ago from California

      Thank you fo reading and commenting Rayne! Hope all is well with you!

    • profile image

      Rayne123 

      5 years ago

      I like this poem.

      It expresses to me the world of reality into our dreams

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      5 years ago from California

      Thank you Cyndi!!!

    • Cyndi10 profile image

      Cynthia B Turner 

      5 years ago from Georgia

      Absolutely beautiful, but that's no surprise. Take care.

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 

      5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      your words really paint thousands of pictures worth capturing...well written...

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Eddy!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 

      6 years ago from Wales

      A great hub.

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you LadyFiddler!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you for the read Vinaya and the kind words!

    • LadyFiddler profile image

      Joanna Chandler 

      6 years ago from On planet Earth

      Hi Audrey,

      A pleasant good day to you ;) nice hub

      Blessings from Adoni

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 

      6 years ago from Nepal

      Audrey, you always come up with wonderful expressions.

      "...the wind would whisper/my name to your skin..."

      These lines will be etched on my mind

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you for the read!!! So appreciated!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you A.A.!

    • Break of Dawn profile image

      Break of Dawn 

      6 years ago

      Absolutely exquisite ! Your lovely writing , your well-chosen words and the perfect flow in the poem makes this a masterpiece. Thank you!

    • A.A. Zavala profile image

      Augustine A Zavala 

      6 years ago from Texas

      Closed doors, and invitation to the unknown and fraught with risks and possible pain. Been there, and still doing that. Thank you for sharing.

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Dancing Water--it is all about trust isn't it? Thank you so much for reading and for your kind comments!

    • Dancing Water profile image

      Dancing Water 

      6 years ago

      I love the flow and the imagery of this poem. And everyone of us can relate to the fear of being hurt that causes us to procrastinate a possible encounter. I want to shout, "Open the door! Risk! It's worth it!" But I know that I, too, have hesitated so many times, and most likely will continue to be oh so careful. Thank you, Audrey! Wonderful writing!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you so much Eddy!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 

      6 years ago from Wales

      Wonderful Audrey and thanks for sharing.

      Eddy.

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you for reading acaetnna! I am so glad that you enjoyed this piece!

    • acaetnna profile image

      acaetnna 

      6 years ago from Guildford

      Your words paint such a wonderful picture. Awesome!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      You are sweet Audrey! Thank you!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Deborah!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 

      6 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

      Dear Audrey - Your use of imagery through your words echos the music of a Rachmaninoff Concerto. What more could anyone want...only more of the same. You are a treasure!

    • DeborahNeyens profile image

      Deborah Neyens 

      6 years ago from Iowa

      Don't be afraid to push that door open! Great poem. I like how you always manage to choose just the right image to accompany your poetry.

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you so much deepak2u

    • deepak2u profile image

      Govind Deepak Kumar 

      6 years ago from Telangana,INDIA

      Mind Blowing Paintings ... Good Work !! :)

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Eddy--you too!!

    • eddy4me profile image

      Eddy Jones 

      6 years ago from Wales.

      Wonderful Audrey and it is so nice to be reading your wonderful work once more.

      Take care and have a wonderful day.

      Eddy.

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Dahlia Flower!

    • Dahlia Flower profile image

      Dahlia Flower 

      6 years ago from Canada

      Beautiful. I understood your poem from the first but enjoyed the many comments posted, too. Voting up and awesome.

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you ChristyWrites!

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 

      6 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      A beautiful poem!

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      6 years ago from TEXAS

      One can't actually decide to love or not, Audrey. When love exists it simply IS, but by its very nature, it doesn't demand self-fulfillment. That's where both recognizing whether or not it's real love and then deciding to open the door to it or not come in.

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you so much Nellieanna--how we make the decision and why we make the decision --to love or not--

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      It is good to be awake! Thank you arb!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you midget38!!!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you so much Robin! Greatly appreciated!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Erin!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Bill--fear and stepping through it seem to be on my mind lately

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      6 years ago from TEXAS

      oops. I sort of like 'inevitale'. Really was a typo. It's cuter than my intended pecking: inevitable. I guess my spell check was charmed and broadminded! hehe

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      6 years ago from TEXAS

      Lovely poem, dear Audrey. You write with such music and grace.

      I'm thinking it is quite possible to not harbor fear in opening the door(s) by gaining wisdom. It is so right that death of a beloved is an unavoidable hurt. Loss of love is always possible, in which case there is inevitale hurt in one or both partners.

      However, in general, common hurt is either due to really poor judgment in whom to love in the first place, in which case, early and soon rather than late could help avoid that.

      The other ingredient of much hurt in love seems to be caring more about one's own level of comfort and ease in it than in the beloved's. Most hurt seems to express itself with a major pronoun family: me, I, my, mine. When it surpasses that concern and becomes us, we, our and ours - and at times, just you, your, yours, or thou and thine, hurt becomes much less likely and/or applicable.

      In any case, it seems that presence of love is not the real cause of hurt but its shallowness, selfishness or even its absence. Love shouldn't be blamed for that!

    • arb profile image

      arb 

      6 years ago from oregon

      What is said or how its said. Sometimes one overpowers the other. Sometimes, they conspire together and we are held in momentary captivity. Sometimes we are awakened by good poetry. It is good to be awake.

      The door will still be there tomorrow, but, then again tomorrow and tomorow and forever, endless tomorrows. And love must shake its head at our sillyness. There is no love from yesterday, less we cling to it today. Tomorrow is at best, perhaps. Today is certain.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 

      6 years ago from Singapore

      We should all be doing the things we have a passion for, and dream about, is the message I got from this exquisite poem. So beautifully done. Thanks for the write, Audrey, and I'm sharing.

    • RobinGrosswirth23 profile image

      Robin Grosswirth 

      6 years ago from New York

      and yet, the push

      would cost--

      a forgetting of sorts

      an abandoning of pain

      so long carried

      in creases

      of heart and mind

      that an unfolding would,

      by its nature,

      expose tender points to sun

      unnecessarily

      they gather now

      only in the creases after all

      and inform the windshield of heart and eye

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      I can see the abandoning of the pain, the release of the tender parts to be lit by the healing sun and then they fold into creases. And I love the use of the windshield for the heart and eye as it shows the expanse of what lies ahead (not the rear view, which is appropriately smaller and looks back).

      Beautiful--voted up, up and away...............

    • Ebower profile image

      Erin Bower 

      6 years ago from Georgia

      This is so emotional in a good way. I love the painting! I voted this up and beautiful. :)

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      6 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Beautiful images my friend! Exquisite in fact, and thoughts that many of us share.

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Your Cousins---this piece represents a part of my life long ago--but I actually wrote it recently--I did go through the door and it has been wonderful---

    • Your Cousins profile image

      Your Cousins 

      6 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      I like everything about this poem. I also like the blue illustration. I read through each paragraph twice to take it all in. Oh how I wanted you to go through that door! But maybe that's another poem for another time.

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Tammy--Once I figured out that we could use pictures, I looked through my stock--there are a number of other profiles out there in hubland that are just gorgeous!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you thelyricwriter!

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 

      6 years ago from North Carolina

      You have one of the prettiest profiles I have seen yet.

      This is just amazing and it gives me goosebumps. The forgetting part is quite chilling! Love this one!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting!! I am glad that you enjoyed it!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you so much coffeegginmyrice!

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      6 years ago from West Virginia

      Voted up, awesome, and beautiful Audrey. I always get lost in your poetry. Your grace of writing and how your poem flows is well worth noting. This was beautiful writing Audrey:)

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      6 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Audrey...What a lovely and thought-provoking Poem.....so deep and meaningful, full of the imagination of one contemplating what to do.....and finally, succumbs to what she knows she must. Beautiful & awesome

    • coffeegginmyrice profile image

      Marites Mabugat-Simbajon 

      6 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      To love again is to love again. Love is ever a fighter and can't give up no matter how much time is needed to gasp for air, to send that spot in our hearts pulsating again to bring back the feelings of love that was once lost, gone and left.

      This poem Audrey, will lead to more doorways! Beautiful!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Even your comment is poetic--thank you Epi-man!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Deborah--and thank you for sharing!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Rajan! And I appreciate the share! Take care!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      6 years ago

      ..well I love standing in the doorway of your poetic dreams because you are such a lovely impressionistic writer whose words always sweetly caress me in their poetic divinity ....... sending you warm wishes and good energy from lake erie time ontario canada 12:57pm

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Laurinzo!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Blue is probably my favorite color as well! Thank you Vincent!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      I did Sue!!! Thank you! And how are you?

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 

      6 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Oh my Audrey this is simply beautiful and amazing and breathtaking.. I am taken away.. I love this.. so glad I saw it on facebook

      hugs my friend... sharing

      Debbie

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 

      6 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      A very powerful poem with so many messages culminating in a big one that there is hope only if one forgets the past and pushes forward. I love your choice of words and the beautiful flow of the poem rising to a cresendo, till the subject takes the chance for a better life.

      Voted up, beautiful and amazing.

      Sharing on facebook.

    • Laurinzo Scott profile image

      Live To Write 

      6 years ago from Phoenix, Az.

      What an incredible poem Audrey... this is one of those that is so full of emotion.. it is incredible...

    • profile image

      Vincent Moore 

      6 years ago

      Definitely a lot of emotion in this beautiful piece. Your imagery proves that when used with the right words they combine to make an explosive statement. Blue is my favourite colour, yet often I have felt the loss of colour and Blue I've become. I felt your words my poet.

    • profile image

      Sueswan 

      6 years ago

      Hi Audrey

      Good to see you. I hope you enjoyed your time in Europe.

      "and yet, the push

      would cost--

      a forgetting of sorts

      an abandoning of pain

      so long carried"

      in creases

      of heart and mind

      Such pain can prevent us from opening that door.

      Voted up and away

      Have a good evening. :)

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you so much Carol!

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 

      6 years ago from Arizona

      Lots of emotion and feeling and thanks for sharing it ...Poetry helps to get to know people better....

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Lesley!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Alocsin!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you so much snowdrops---and thank you for the follow

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 

      6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Your words paint a wonderful picture, so vivid! I love the emotion in your poetry.

      voted up/awesome

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Rosemary!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you so much Valleypoet

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you so much for the read prairieprincess!

    • alocsin profile image

      alocsin 

      6 years ago from Orange County, CA

      I like the imagery and feelings with your body evoked by the poem. Voting this Up and Beautiful.

    • snowdrops profile image

      snowdrops 

      6 years ago from The Second Star to the Right

      the poem is so beautifully well written. the photo is awesome to

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you John! So very much!

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 

      6 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      Audrey I love the flow of this poem.

      We are often hurt by love for various reasons, and yet we cannot live without it. Yes we hesitate and are wary of stepping through that door once again but we take the risk knowing full well we may be hurt again.

      Awesome

    • profile image

      Valleypoet 

      6 years ago

      A poem that flows beautifully and evokes lucid imagery. Voted awesome

    • prairieprincess profile image

      Sharilee Swaity 

      6 years ago from Canada

      Audrey, this is a beautiful sumptuous poem. I understood that it was about the risk inherent in loving again, and there is a risk in all loving, that eventually you will lose that person. But the joy is so incredible, too!

      I loved the way you put the words together. Perfect! (Voted up, more and shared)

    • John Sarkis profile image

      John Sarkis 

      6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      hi Audrey, and what an exceptional poem this is. I always tell everyone that you're one of the most gifted poets I know - Hubpages or otherwise....

      Voted up

      John

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you ahorseback--feel like I need to check in with you--it has been a while!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you so much midget38!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you Vellur!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Not as easy the second time! Thank you mcbirdbks!!

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Ah Jamie! Thank you for the read!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 

      6 years ago from Singapore

      Wow, passionate and heartfelt, Audrey. This is really emotive...and reflects the pain of lost love and even more so to look at it again. A truly beautiful work.

    • AudreyHowitt profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Thank you ImKarn!!

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