The Expression "Butt Hurt" and It's Origin
Before we start I would like to add a disclaimer; This article is only meant as humorous satire and is not my personal view toward anyone...although i can thank my Mom and several ex's for the inspiration, Enjoy...
Today's subject is the word; Butt Hurt...Although this phrase can be associated with the physical discomfort of hemorrhoids, we are going to focus on the emotional variation. Butt hurt (or Butt-hurt), as described by the highly esteemed Urban Dictionary: Butt-hurt; An inappropriately strong negative emotional response from a perceived personal insult. Characterized by strong feelings of shame. Frequently associated with a cessation of communication and overt hostility towards the "aggressor." This seems to be the "Unofficial" definition of the word (or two words, apparently it's a preference thing)
I have been researching the word (or two words) for a couple of days. Although widely used, I couldn't find any kind of origin or history behind it. So I'm going to make it up....This is what I found on Gregipedia....
In 1998 Doctor Algernop Krieger uncovered a common link between the steroid compound estrogen (œstrogens)and emotional over exaggeration. In early 1999 he was awarded a BD Bio-sciences Research Grant to further study the link he had discovered. With all his controlled experiments yielding indistinguishable results, he felt it was an appropriate time to expose the experimentation to an uncontrolled environment.
Late 1999 he started preparations for uncontrolled experimentation. In order to produce adequate data in uninhibited surroundings, he simplified his research method by creating a three step process known as The Krieger Method. These steps include the observation and documentation of; homo and heterosociality interaction between both man and women; the nature of conflicts and their ability to resolve it; and the actions of at least five long-term couples.
In May of 2002 he concluded his experimentation and was stunned when he found that his original hypothesis was correct. The stronger the present of estrogen is in any given situation will dramatically increase the probability of an inappropriate negative emotional response from a female. For men, testosterone would cause of this same reaction; however, this had already been widely accepted as fact. Cross gender research had never been attempted in the scientific community, for hundreds of years scientist thought it would just be easier to understand quantum physics then try to figure out women.
With his scientific research in one hand and his cell phone in the other he called his wife to share the awesome discovery he had made. As he explained his finding, he used the words "oestrogen" and "overreaction" in the same sentence, to which Mrs. Krieger instantaneously took offence saying "Oestrogen! Overreaction! So since I am a women my feelings don't matter?" then she began her anger convulsions, which included, stomping and flailing her arms in the air in protest and resentment against the remark. With the combination of exacerbated foot movement and the less then circular hand flailing, her balance was lost and a broken tailbone was gained. She said "Look what you made me do?"
He responded with a simple "It's not my fault your butt hurts".
Today, Dr. Krieger is head of Applied Research Department for the International Secret Intelligence Service (ISIS). Also participating in the reality TV show "Archer" as himself, airing Thursday nights at 10 pm on FX.