...The Forest Labyrinth/Initiation...

The Forest Labyrinth/Initiation is meant to be the portal to the beginning of my understanding as a writer to be able to follow the Muse, in my case being "Her", "The Queen", "The Red Queen", "The Phantom Queen"...however I refer to Her, She has been with me Forever. In the past few years I have realized just how much - and being the writer that I am, I cannot escape Her story, that stalks me like the Wolf She shape shifts into or the loud crow who just literally woke my mind and cued me to write this here. I hope you enjoy this first chapter of the series of meditations that I am working on.

The night grew colder as I noticed something different about Her. She stood majestically in the gateway of my meditation. The moon was new when She asked me to follow Her into the dark doorway that led me out of my ordinary mind. The Red Queen had finally manifested completely as my trusted Spirit Guide.

I walked in Her wake, barefoot on the cold earth, into the Labyrinth. She flowed like liquid silk, red mist trailing behind Her through the Forest. There was no time for fear or hesitation. To even blink would mean losing Her. Trees rustled and whispered secrets, words of suggestion: "Transformation, regeneration, protection." I struggled to keep up with Her, my feet numb as I traveled through mud and sodden grass. I could think of nothing else but my discomfort. I looked down for only a moment and She was gone. Nothing but wind and silence waited for me on the path.

Frozen in place I suddenly realized what had happened. She was gone because I held onto being human in this magical place She had created for me, with me. I halted my own progress before I began. As this thought crossed my mind I knew I had to surrender being mortal. It was keeping Her from me. I envisioned the core of the earth and its hot molten heart as it roiled beneath me. The earth changed and I was no longer cold. Warmth permeated me with red, orange, and yellow fires that disintegrated my discomfort. Then, there ahead of me, She stood waiting. Three crows and a wolf were beside Her.

I joined them, and She smiled, knowing my thoughts before they were mine. Her dress glowed silver and white beside Her pitch black wolf. The crows flew from tree to tree. The largest one led the group until She gave them a warning glance. The smell of fur, dirt and rotten wood rose in the wind. I heard an inhuman sound and She watched me closely as I stopped. She pointed ahead to a gate. I could not see beyond it, but the sound alone chilled me. My skin rose up in little bumps and again She vanished. Again I understood why.

Holding my breath I walked through the gate. My feet became cold as my mortality crept in. I pushed the thoughts away and saw Her wolf waiting. I smelled rust and heard a rustle in the darkness. A large dark figure came over the rise of the hill. It had horns that penetrated the sky and a head that blocked out everything.

I quickly sank into the hollow of a tree. I was unable to move or speak as I believed my human fear could make this creature vanish too. I held my hands over my mouth, not wanting a sound to escape as the earth moved and the Minotaur came toward me. It bellowed and blew its rancid breath out. The air was metallic with the stench.

Pressing my back into the trunk, I felt slippery wetness on my feet as a spray of saliva covered them. I stood as still as I could and closed my eyes. Although I was horrified of being heard, I forced myself to breathe. I listened to the snarling creature and suddenly Her commanding voice penetrated the dripping horror.

"Stop breathing." I held my breath until I noticed growing shadows at my feet. I couldn't help but gasp when the beast shook the tree then furiously beat the sides of it. A roaring deafened me and everything went silent. A thump like a fallen tree jolted me and my knees buckled. I knelt in the tree and waited.

Time felt like an eternity had ticked by when I heard Her voice drift out in the night. “He has retreated to the heart of the Labyrinth. He met Baeyne beside the path and knew that the match would be met with his end. He allowed you to stay because he knew you were here under my watch, but only for tonight. Only because he was told that you must be allowed to take the journey through the maze again. Your time here is limited. Your quest must be accelerated. Gather your courage once more and come out of the shelter. You must be ready to start again.”

I lifted my head and met the eyes of the wolf peering into mine. He stayed with me until the first light of dawn. When the sun was just below the horizon we walked to a clearing where the sun shone on a ring of stones. The largest crow was there waiting. Grass was not yet growing but there were shoots of green that would soon be daffodils. Two stones were much larger at the far end of the circle with a small walkway between them. There were faint carvings in them, soft details under gray moss: flowers and acorns, stars and clouds, the sun and the moon.

"The sun and the moon." She appeared like a glowing red angel. Her voice carried itself over into my memories and I saw my three boys surrounded in golden halos. They were walking toward me and smiling, compatible, happy. She drifted toward them but they could not see Her. She hovered over them and bathed them in pink light. She whispered one word, "Mother". She turned to me then and touched the tear that was about to fall. It changed into gold flecks of dusk that that danced in the sunlight.

"It's time to go ahead." She kept Her eyes to the ground and took my hand. "Remember to remember. Teach them to communicate, especially while they are human and you no longer are. Don't smother them, or overburden them. Help them to learn, grow and continually change. Listen without speaking. Speak without talking. See without eyes. Your examples will generate more of the same. Be mindful of your thoughts. They pick up speed and turn into action. They change everything, just being born into awareness.”

I knew what She said was true. I felt it boomerang inside me as I stepped through the portal between the two stones. I traveled back down into myself, back here to where the gateway stands before me and awaits my return.