The Frog Story: A Reunion To Remember
Written For Posterity
The following story was related to me by my family. This familial anecdote occurred before my birth so I will write to the best of my ability and recollection of the story, taking dramatic liberties when needed.
A long long loooooong time ago, before the era of Imadork, existed my family. This dark age sans me seems unimaginable now but please try to comprehend it. My family consisted of my mother, father, sister and two brothers. Yes, I am the youngest of four but enough about me. This story takes place BD (Before Dork), so quit asking about me!
It was a lovely and bright Texan summer circa 1970 BD when my sister rushed excitedly into my parent's lonely dark house. The house lacked something of which my parent's could not quite grasp. This barren so-called home was much like the Land of Nod, east of Eden. Not to worry though, in August of 1973 the light will not only shine down on this house but also glow from within when BD turns to AD.
Anyway, my sister skips delightfully from the bright outdoors into the dark corridors of my parent's home holding in her hands something she wants to show mommy and daddy. Mom and Dad, waking from their dreamless sleep, arose begrudgingly to the sounds of the little brat squealing about one thing or another. They look at each other and an unspoken communication passes between them. There has to be something, or someone, better than this.
My sister reaches my parents and shows them what she has found. It's a tiny baby frog. By now, my brothers have been alerted by the ruckus and the two imps shuffle in Quasimodo-like fashion to the origin of the din.
"Can I keep it", my sister pleads.
"I'm sorry, we just can't. It will die here in the darkness of our lair, dear", my mother said. "We need to return it to the sunlight of the outside world. There, it's mommy will take it far away from this place of woe."
Together, this pseudo-family walk toward the front foyer. They open the door, shielding their eyes from the brightness of the sun much like the nuclear scientists did when testing the atomic bomb. After a moment of acclimation they step outside, tiny frog in the hands of my sister.
My father kneels, "Let it go dear. It has to leave this place that God has forgotten. It's mommy will find it. Don't worry".
My sister opens her hands and releases the captive baby frog. It hops away toward the yellow withered grass of the front lawn. Just then, a bigger frog hops within sight.
"Look, the mommy frog is coming to get her baby," my mother said.
A rare smile comes to the faces of the family. My parents and three siblings all gather 'round to see the reunion of the mother and its baby. They were happy that the baby frog would not have to fend for itself. The baby and adult frog hopped closer together like some hokey slow motion reunion scene in a cheesy movie.
This lovely scene quickly turned to horror as the big frog's tongue darted out, hooking the tiny baby and sucking it into it's mouth. The adult frog gobbled up the baby right in front of my sibs, who were now screaming in horror at this reunion gone bad.
Heads downcast, their happiness thwarted yet again, my family turns toward the house and with heavy sighs, retreat into their darkened den to await the next flicker of glee which will not come for another three years. Fortunately, that glee will be much more lasting.
They will live happily ever after...eventually.
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Sorry.. Didn't know I wasn't supposed to mention my hub under comments. Please disregard.
I think this is the most weirdly interesting hub I have ever read. You may be interested in reading my hub about bathroom safety. No kidding.
It sounded so nice , it was hilarious and sad all rolled into one!! I would have been horrified and scarred for life as a little girl , if that would have happened to me. :)
I kinda figured that was going to happen! LOL
That was a cute and unforgettable childhood story!
- AUTHOR
Hello big sis! How did you like my take on the story?
I am imadorks big sister. That story is true. It was tragic when it happened and I had nightmares about it. It does seem funny now. I love to hear our mother tell the story, she cracks herself up.
- AUTHOR
Frieda: you flatter me with your bookmarks and emails! Thanks!!!
I think the frog smirked but it could have been holding back gas.
Oh snotty! Did I just say that? Not sure where that came from, but if I wrote it and it felt right, there you go. What an incredible story man! Loved it to pieces. Tasty as all get out. How horrifying. How splendiferous. So did the frog smirk? Even just a bit?
Great hub. Green thumbs up and a bookmark and e-mail.
- AUTHOR
Yes MH, the world is tragic without Imadork! Thank you.
Truly a tragic story!!!
- AUTHOR
Thanks Tom!
Cannibalism is dinner. Narcissism is life. You rock.
- AUTHOR
Raw narcissism is my specialty. Thanks for reading Schwag!
You wrote it! Freakin' hilarious! I love your raw narcissism. There's nothing I like more than people who like nothing more than themselves, except myself. Whoa. Sorry. Anyway, wonderful story. It definitely deserved a whole hub to itself. Thank you so much for the link at the end. I will definitely do the same. Right now. Bye.
- AUTHOR
Thanks you JamaGenee! I appreciate it!
Texan from birth.
I should've known you were a Texan!
Why do I bother reading the comments once Cris and Christoph have found a hub! Just *once* can you guys stop the mutual admiration bit long enough for the rest of us to use the space to congratulate the author for a GREAT hub?
Great hub, imadork! ROTFL! (Croak, croak, crunch.) ;}
LOL now you're truly back so i say no to the crown, it belongs to you :D
- AUTHOR
G-Ma: Croak, croak, crunch.
- AUTHOR
I pass the crown onto you Cris.
Now my place in HP has been confirmed, I am humbled by your mangnanimity oh Great One :D
Life is tough and goes on...croak croak...G-Ma :O) Hugs
- AUTHOR
Isn't that a question posed by all the greats Cris A?
Is cannibalism murder?
- AUTHOR
Don't start that shit again GT!!!
Amy G, thank you. I am pleased to brighten your day with a little baby frog murder.
lmao! That is MONEY! I'm going to laugh every time I see a baby frog now, for the rest of my life...
Was he really confused? Or on to something?
- AUTHOR
Thank you CR. AD is so much brighter!
I hope so Cris.
LOL just checking if you're back to "normal power" as we seemed to have confused you in your spacewarp hub! Apparently you're back! All's good :D
Oh, man. Talk about tough love. Tastes like chicken, I'm told. So glad were no longer in the dark age of BD, but have emerged, triumphant, into to AD!
- AUTHOR
Wow! Cris, plug that pussy with a rag!!! You seem bitchy today. What's up?
Yeah i know, and I'm happy for you.
- AUTHOR
Cris A, that is why I stated the dramatic license in the first paragraph.
Nah. I'm made of tougher stuff than that. :-))
- AUTHOR
Thank you Theophanes.
- AUTHOR
I hope it does not give you nightmares PM.
Good thing you still can remember seeing it happened a long long loooooong time ago! i've just been to one where the same thing happened - figuratively of course :D
I'm guessing the big frog was actually a toad? We had one of those things hopping around the outside of our house as children, thing was as big as a cat and used to eat mice (and just about anything else that was unfortuneate to cross it!) That's almost as bad as the snake vs frog storiess common around here where the question always seems to come up, "So when's the frog coming back?"
Nice twisted and dark childhood trauma story!
I'm sure those little frogs legs were succulent
GT!! That's just cruel! :-0
The poor baby was hopping over for comfort and reassurance and ended up being breakfast. A horror story if I've ever heard one.......
You had me going, dork. :-))
Very touching and heartwarming story. Everyone deserves to eat.
OH!!! I was screaming with your siblings!!!!!!
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