ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Girl Who Was Always A Tortured Soul

Updated on October 12, 2014
Goodnight, for now. Dear friend.
Goodnight, for now. Dear friend.

We shared the same sense of humour,

And often laughed until we cried.

Yet your mind-set had its default setting

Always set at Self-destruct... until the

Day you died.

Mental de-fault setting/homepage...=Self-destruct.

You were capable of tender love.

You directed it to animals, Prefering them to people.

Yet loved... you were.

Did you really not know?

Was it impossible for you to grasp?

My beautiful friend. Child in a woman's body.

Emotions stunted at a tender age.

How could you know or understand

How much you were truly loved?

You saw danger at every corner.

You'd forecast pain the moment you

locked eyes with someone new.

So much anger mixed with hatred,

Surged around inside your head.

Hating people... this only hurt YOU.!

Anger, also deep inside,

Hurting only you.

Mental default setting ...... Self-destruct.!

Annually, worse your health became,

I sadly watched deterioration, helpless

to prevent your determination to self-destruct.

Sitting with you at doctors' office

Holding you..... wrapping arms around you

Nothing seemed to bring you back

to the feisty girl l'd known.

Now l can only wait and pray.,

That l will again see you someday.


Submit a Comment

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    3 years ago from Great Britain

    Your comment has brought tears to my eyes.

    Thank you so, so much for such an understanding comment.

  • JayeWisdom profile image

    Jaye Denman 

    3 years ago from Deep South, USA

    Dear Dim - I'm so sorry for your loss and personally understand the long, harsh road to this tragedy, as one clings to hope for the better until that day comes when hope is shattered. I hope that writing your poems about her will serve as catharsis to help heal your grief. You tried so diligently to help, and sometimes that is all we can do...and love.

    Bless you....Jaye

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    3 years ago from Great Britain

    Thank you Genna.

    It's hard when anyone dies and circumstances vary greatly.

    I seem to be dealing with this through writing. Thank you for your encouragement.

  • Genna East profile image

    Genna East 

    4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

    Oh, Dim...this grabs the heart and won't let go. I am so sorry about the loss your friend. There is relief and some release at times when writing about such deep sadness and grief with candor. You have written a powerful poem; thank you for sharing this with us.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    4 years ago from Great Britain

    Thank you AliciaC, Yes writing did help, although l felt best relief when l wrote a lot more graphic about her suicide attempts and self -harm, the number of times l've talked her through it in the middle of the night by phone, the countless times l've mopped up her blood along with her tears after a cutting session. Lots of dreadful things that l couldn't possibly publish. Any of her relatives (although unlikely to read Hubpages) if they they read it l would feel terrible for them. She managed to hide so much and l kept quiet and did my best to get her professional help. I appreciate you reading and leaving an encouraging comment.

  • AliciaC profile image

    Linda Crampton 

    4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your poem is a powerful description of a sad situation. I hope your writing helps you deal with your experience.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    4 years ago from Great Britain

    Thank you so much, Faith Reaper.

    I value your comments highly.

    Hugs right back to you.

  • Faith Reaper profile image

    Faith Reaper 

    4 years ago from southern USA

    Heartrending poem here you have shared. You have expressed your pain for your friend and the hope of seeing her again so powerfully.

    God bless you. (((Hugs)))

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    4 years ago from Great Britain

    So true Jodah.

    Thank for reading and commenting.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    4 years ago from Great Britain

    Thank you janshares.

    It's a difficult time for so many people everywhere. This is how l feel, but must concentrate on the fact that she is out of pain now.

    I appreciate your lovely words.

  • Jodah profile image

    John Hansen 

    4 years ago from Queensland Australia

    Some of the very best poetry springs from sadness. Thank you for sharing.

  • janshares profile image

    Janis Leslie Evans 

    4 years ago from Washington, DC

    Powerful and painful, well-expressed grief, Dim. Thank you for putting this loss into words, so creatively. The sadness is felt through this piece. Voted up and beautiful.

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile imageAUTHOR

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    4 years ago from Great Britain

    That is a beautiful, helpful comment, for which l thank you.

  • mckbirdbks profile image


    4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

    Hello Dim. I am glad you were able to write this. It will help you with your rebuilding from the pain. I am sorry you lost your friend.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)