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Granny and The Sagger-a poem of protest to baggy pants and boxers

Updated on June 25, 2012
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Standing in line bored and waiting

Man, I’m starved, cannot wait to taste.

Glancing around while the lady is plating

I spy a boy with his pants below his waist.

Call a cop! Quick before they drop!

Lawd, Lawd! Grab ‘em fast because I just spilled

my pop. I spy his buttocks spilling over the top.

I’m an old lady, my pacemaker might stop!

There it goes, I see him waving to all six of them

Oh me, oh my! Are they hip hop boys or that M&M?

I am proud to be drug free and cannot handle crack.

Why do they think I want to see that when I snack?

I heard someone say that they are called saggers.

And I think they all are lazy and will end up as beggers

But I see he just pulled out a wad of dough.

His pants are slipping and sliding. Stop! Whoa!

Where oh where are my glasses? Can I move closer

to see better as he passes? Surely this is not kosher!

My head begins to really pound and I look around.

Somebody save me. Now they are on the ground!

I knew when I saw his underwear like that

My heart would fail and now I am having an attack!

Look at him grin, his posse is laughing. He should be

punished. Take this I yell as he gasps at what I am grasping.



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  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Hi Susan. I tell you that sometimes I just want to choke them with a pair of suspenders or a belt. I will never understand this phenomenon.

    Hello Suzettenaples. I love that. Probably works too. If they don't want to see my granny drawers, they shouldn't show me their own.

    Hi PegCole17. These young men need to meet my own Granny. She would make them pull those pants up or get a hickory switch. Thanks for stopping by.

  • PegCole17 profile image

    Peg Cole 4 years ago from Dallas, Texas

    I had to refresh myself on this hilarious Granny and The Sagger poetry. The other day driving through a suburban neighborhood I saw a sagger with a red T-shirt and matching underwear of which I saw WAY too much. He was obviously proud of his color coordinated outfit as he kept fiddling with the front. I nearly drove off the road.

  • profile image

    suzettenaples 4 years ago

    Oh, love this one Brenda! Lol. I tell the boys this when I sub all the time. "I don't show you my underwares and I don't want to see yours!" Our schools make them wear athletic shorts under their sagging jeans so it's not so bad. But our in the general public-yikes!

  • Just Ask Susan profile image

    Susan Zutautas 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

    LOL. Someone quick buy these guys belts and make sure they're cinched nice and tight.

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Thank you PaddyBoy. This granny had just seen too much that day.

  • PADDYBOY60 profile image

    PADDYBOY60 4 years ago from Centreville Michigan

    Yes ma'am!

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    lol PAddyboy. I gather thatis a good thing?!

  • PADDYBOY60 profile image

    PADDYBOY60 5 years ago from Centreville Michigan

    Wow! Holy cow! Ow!

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Hi mollymeadows. I DO remember that now. I had not thought of it in years. Thanks for the memory. You made me laugh and I needed it.

  • mollymeadows profile image

    Mary Strain 5 years ago from The Shire

    Go Granny! And as for the saggers, you're so right. Way, way too much information. Do you remember what Fred Sanford on Sanford and Son did when he saw Aunt Esther? "Oh! My eyes! My eyes! That ugly face blinded me!"

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Hi Peg. You made me laugh too. You are so funny. Thank you for reading Granny. I loved writing this one.

  • PegCole17 profile image

    Peg Cole 5 years ago from Dallas, Texas

    I had to stiffle myself or milk would have come out of my nose. Yuk yuk yuk. "Take this!" she says. We used to moon people but it was just briefly. Harhar, pun intended.

  • mary615 profile image

    Mary Hyatt 5 years ago from Florida

    Hi, there's another fad that I just have to mention: when did it become a fashion statement to wear a baseball cap backwards? I hate that, and especially when the guy doesn't take it off long enough to eat. I actually asked a friend of my daughter's who came to dinner to please remove his cap at the table. He did. They seem to be ignorant, and have NO manners. Bye for now.....

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Hi Mary615. This fad makes me ill. Whoever decided others would want to see their underwear? Yewwwww. One time a car with that loud music pulled up beside us at a traffic light. I turned the volume up full blast in my minivan and played my toddler's Itsy Bitsy Spider. You should have seen their faces. Hilarious.

    Thanks for coming by and helping me remember that. I needed a good laugh. Regards, Hyph.

  • mary615 profile image

    Mary Hyatt 5 years ago from Florida

    I am a member of the "older generation", and I just can't stand to see these guys with their saggy pants. Even worse, I hate for them to pull up beside my car with their music so loud, it hurts my heart! This Hub was great.

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Thank you Alastar. I love it too. It was so much fun to write.

  • Alastar Packer profile image

    Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

    Saggers! Had to read this again Hyph...Funny!!! And Righteous!

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    THAT is too funny teacher. I can just see the panic on their faces. Thank you so much for a great laugh. I needed it.

  • justateacher profile image

    LaDena Campbell 5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

    When I see my younger students sagging, I pull out my rubber band belt and make them pull up their pants. When my older students do it, I ask "How you would you like to see ME wear my pants like that?" You wouldn't believe how fast their pants get pulled up!!

    Great poem! Voted up!

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Hi Becky. I am happy to provide a laugh for you. I just cannot stand to witness this. It is such an awful trend and makes me nervous. I am afraid those baggy pants are gonna hit the ground any moment. They must be uncomfortable. Like you said, they cannot walk well, cannot run. It is beyond me.

    Your son got a belt? YEAH

  • profile image

    Becky 5 years ago

    I don't know how I missed this one.(giggles) This is funny. My son, after many times of walking past mom and ending up with his pants around his ankles, wears shorts under his pants. I do not see his underwear. He still has the saggy britches though.He wears a belt and still has to hold his pants up when he runs with a waddle. I don't know why he doesn't just pull them up.

  • profile image

    5 years ago

    Hyphenbird:

    Well, maybe you better write it, rather than me! lol (I'm no expert on young ladies' midriffs and navel jewelry.)

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    You are right f. Perhaps a Hub is needed on that subject also. laugh

  • profile image

    5 years ago

    Some young people: young men are rightly criticized for letting their midriff show; meanwhile, their sisters find that they are almost encouraged to do so as a fashion statement.

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Hi vocalcoach. I just cannot grasp the rewards of wearing one's pants so low and why would we want to see other people's underwear. t is just icky!

    I am glad you liked this poem. It was written after a trip out and having to be subjected to this insult to my eyes, morals and is just a plain violation of good manners.

    So glad I could make you smile.

  • vocalcoach profile image

    Audrey Hunt 6 years ago from Nashville Tn.

    What's wrong with these young "bums?" I loved this so much, it's on my frig and I forwarded it on to a list of young bucks I know, plus the parents.

    I always recognized your brilliance which is ovious in your hubs, but now I see that you are comedy, as well.

    Thank you so much, dear friend for putting into words, exactly how I feel. :)

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Those boys need to realize the shock to us ladies! This "fashion" boggles my mind as to why one would want to look this way. I think they need a good wedgie.

    Thanks Jaye. Have a wonderful day.

  • JayeWisdom profile image

    Jaye Denman 6 years ago from Deep South, USA

    I laughed out loud, mainly because I often feel much like that Granny when I spy one or more of these saggers walking by. They often seem to defy the laws of gravity (thank goodness, for I don't want their pants to actually drop)...not before they're out of my sightline, anyway.

    Jaye

  • barbergirl28 profile image

    Stacy Harris 6 years ago from Hemet, Ca

    I tell my brother in law the same thing all the time... I don't understand it.... those are something we should keep to ourselves... lol

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Ain't it the truth, barbergirl?! Thanks for the visit. I cannot bear this trend. Why would we want to see underwear? YUCK

  • barbergirl28 profile image

    Stacy Harris 6 years ago from Hemet, Ca

    I can't believe I missed this before - this is too funny - but oh so true.... for all human kind... please people - pull up your pants! LOL

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Awe Shucks kimberlyslyrics, you're making me blush. You sure made my heart smile. I am glad you liked it. This Hub is one of my personal favorites. Thanks so much for the visit great comments

  • profile image

    kimberlyslyrics 6 years ago

    YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I really needed that this morning I tell ya

    cheers girl

    great job

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Hello blondey. I appreciate your visit to my Hub. Have a lovely evening.

  • blondey profile image

    Rosemary Amrhein 6 years ago from Boston, MA

    Nice wit.

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Ah, thank you Diana. My little Hyphie is so adorable. I am glad others think so too. I cannot stand to see these boys pants hanging down. I truly wonder how they keep them up and why would someone ever wish to do that in the first place. Perhaps I am getting old and grouchy. lol

    As always it is lovely when you drop by for a visit.

  • DTroth profile image

    Diana Owens 6 years ago from My Little Hole In The Wall, HubPages, USA

    Hi birdie!

    I have to chuckle. My son went through that phase a few years back. Thank God it was just a "phase!" hee hee (:

    I think Sunnie's got the right idea. They're just settin' themselves up for a weggie!

    Thanks for the giggle, birdie.

    peace to you...always,

    Diana

    P.S. Love your new avatar. Such a beautiful pair! (:

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Sunnie, that is a great idea! I may try that next time I see one of these young men. By the way, that is my little grandson in the photo. When I get the camera he groans. Poor little guy. Thanks for visiting.

  • profile image

    Sunnie Day 6 years ago

    I am cracking up! This was so funny...lol Sometimes a good old fashion assisted weggie is needed don't you think?

    Sunnie

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Than kyou Lady. I saw one of those boys and just had to let off steam. Glad to give you a laugh.

  • Lady In NC profile image

    Lady In NC 6 years ago from A Small Town In North Carolina

    Loved This !!! SO Funny !!!

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Thank ya saddlerider. I enjoyed writing it. I usually don't do rhyme. My sweet little grandson let me take the picture. He suffers so much for my art. lol

  • saddlerider1 profile image

    saddlerider1 6 years ago

    This made me laugh knowing my youngest son has droopy drawers as well, he is one of those gangsta types, he he..fun poem, enjoyed it.

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Dexis, I am so glad it gave you a laugh. I have seen those boys waddle trying to keep those baggy old pants up. Just weird and gross.

  • DexisView profile image

    Dexi 6 years ago from New England

    That is hysterical. Can you imagine walking around trying to keep those up?!?...and I agree last thing I want to see when I'm eating is a crack :)

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    MartieCoetser, me too. These boys do it purposely though. ick

    It is so nasty. Glad you liked this little ditty.

  • MartieCoetser profile image

    Martie Coetser 6 years ago from South Africa

    LOL! Thanks for the laugh! Sloppiness always irritates me.

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Thanks emilybee. Even if I were younger, I would not enjoy seeing all that underwear! Glad you liked it.

  • emilybee profile image

    emilybee 6 years ago

    Haha I see this all too often, some people need a little help getting dressed in the morning - a belt is usually the proper accessory to help with this issue :) Very nice hub.

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Glad I could give you a chuckle Alastar!

  • Alastar Packer profile image

    Alastar Packer 6 years ago from North Carolina

    Leave it to you Hyph,wonderful humor about the most inane fashion fad in history! UP! n funnny!

  • Bumpsysmum profile image

    Bumpsysmum 6 years ago from Cambridgeshire

    Yes, and who wants to see their tacky underpants? Yuk!!

    :-)

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Bumpsysmum, glad I could give you a chuckle. I cannot stand to see those boys with their butts hanging out!

  • Bumpsysmum profile image

    Bumpsysmum 6 years ago from Cambridgeshire

    Hyphenbird, another tickle to the funny bone, thanks for brightening my day :-)

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    babybrownfox, my pleasure. I am so glad you liked it.

  • babybrownfox profile image

    babybrownfox 6 years ago

    Hahaha.. makes me laugh out here. Thanks for giggling my morning.

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Happy to make you laugh dianne.

  • profile image

    dianne  6 years ago

    Hehe, thanks for the laughs.

  • Hyphenbird profile image
    Author

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Glad to give you a smile WillStarr.

    No dallaswriter. I am NOT. But you surely know that by now.

  • dallaswriter profile image

    dallaswriter 6 years ago from North Carolina

    You are not right! :)

  • WillStarr profile image

    WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

    (chuckle!)