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A Note You'll Never Read

Updated on July 2, 2020

Friend, as I sit and scribble with my pen,

I'm wondering again why you did what you did?

Cops in the streets, your blood on the sheets,

last night, right where you told me to sleep?

“I got the couch, you take my bed.”

you might as well said, "Goodbye."

I hate goodbye's and the way that you left...

I heard your sis' scream after seeing you dead.

It's haunting me, every night that I sleep.

I still think... How could you take your life on those sheets?

I held that gun, that revolver you spun.

Boom! Tragically it's done?

I ripped the shirt off my chest,

when I saw the ambulance.

Now I'm stuck in this circumstance.

I argue with God about how tough life is,

seeing you lifeless... I can't take this...

It's too tough some days

to fall on my face and praise,

after I've seen the ways

life can turn for the worst.

A hearse is passing by me again...

Last time I was here,

you were here.

Remember then?

Of course you remember then-

We buried your best friend.

But now... Now you're with him...

Both you guys are gone.

And here I am,

sittin' scribblin' with my pen.

Comments

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    • LVidoni5 profile imageAUTHOR

      Leone Vidoni 

      9 years ago from Portland, Oregon

      Thanks for the comment arb. Well, I wouldn't be suprised if some of those events were mutual. I've known about 5 guys to pass away in the last six years as well. All in their early twenties. Life is fragile, I've just gotten out of that invincibility stage myself and started realizing how quick things can change. Appreciate the comment. Enjoy Bend arb, It's a beautiful place!

    • arb profile image

      arb 

      9 years ago from oregon

      After reading some of your work, I will return the follow. I live in Bend, my 24 year old son in Portland. We have weathered 5 such events in the last 6 years. All friends of my children. All in thier early to mid twenties. I knew them all from time in our home. Life is more fragile than we dare to think, We take such extraordinary gift with such ordinary breath. Well done!

    • echoe0021 profile image

      echoe0021 

      9 years ago from Conway, AR

      I don't really know what to say to that, I'm sorry for your loss. I've experienced this circumstance as well and it's not an easy thing to go through. I feel as though this was insightful and I am glad read it. It makes me want to post an elegy I had written. Maybe someday. I look forward to reading more from you.

    • Sky9106 profile image

      Sky9106 

      9 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

      I found it LV . Thanks.

      Bless.

    • Simplicity4All profile image

      Simplicity4All 

      9 years ago from Rhode Island, USA

      Im sorry for your loss should this have truth in it or be based on a real person whom you lost. My grandfather committed suicide last year and it was devastating to everyone especially my dad. I don't know if you saw the short story in my hub called a ghostly reunion it surely needs some work done and I feel like I didn't explain things as well as I should have but its about my dads drug addiction and how the other day I witnessed my best friend and person I go to for guidance completely breakdown because he feels as though he failed his father. Regardless of how I personally related to this for my own reasons, another wonderful piece of writing an tragedies such as the one you described here are always immensely draining and emotional scarring. Best wishes -Ski-

    • profile image

      Sueswan 

      9 years ago

      Hi Brian

      Your poem touched me very deeply.

      I am sorry that you experienced such a tragedy.

      My heart goes out to you.

    • Trueshortstories profile image

      Trueshortstories 

      9 years ago from Canada

      So sad! Thanks for sharing.

    • AndreaSWilson profile image

      AndreaSWilson 

      9 years ago from Bel Air, MD

      Hi there, LVidoni5-

      Your words really touched me.... I lost a dear friend in much the same way. So many questions.... so much sorrow, and sometimes anger... Thank you for putting it into words. Warm hugs to you. --Andrea

    • profile image

      JinnyMarte 

      9 years ago

      I remember when you once told me about this day, but I could never see the images as clear as I did just now once I finished reading this. I guess some things are harder to let go than others and this is something that touches a soul so deeply. Your descriptions are so intense. It was very brave of you to open up like this and share this very personal moment with all of us. Maybe a step towards healing. Hopefully. I still miss my dad after he went out the same way but different circumstances. I can relate and my heart and prayers pour for your loss. I know years can pass by and it still can keep being sad and difficult. I know you're a man of faith and I also know this too shall pass in time. Psalms 59:16

      Thank you for sharing this...Hope you've been well. :-)

      Love, Jinny

    • Sky9106 profile image

      Sky9106 

      9 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

      My condolences also to lost friends.

      This is very powerful LVidoni. Powerful because i can easily see the thought you put into it not necessarily an easy read if you have lost friends to the sounds of gunshots. A poet can then visualize a thousand scenarios in his mind. I feel you here.

      Great work.

      Bless.

    • profile image

      V Qisya 

      9 years ago

      O Brian, I couldn't help but cry in silence. Such a sad sad goodbye.

      It's true when you said, "Life can turn for the worst".

      Life is unpredictable. We'll never know what's gonna happen next.

      But God loves us all and never will he give us more than we can handle. Everything happens for a reason. Stay strong ya.

      Best Wishes, V

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