The Mess We Call You And Me

by Amber Maccione

It’s amazing how detrimental you and I can be

To this love we have claimed to last for eternity.

Sometimes it be you who causing the riot

And other times it be me making a stranger out of quiet

But it doesn't help for me to say it be you

Or even for you to say it be me so f*** it

It takes two to tango boo

So instead of me pointing the finger and crying boo hoo hoo

I should take a good hard look at me

And own my responsibility

You see, I push you and you push me

No wait, here I go again analyzing you instead of me

I push you, that’s what I need to see and wonder why this be

Cuz until I fix me, and learn how to live harmoniously, there will never be a family

So why I be actin’ the fool instead of playin’ it cool?

I always be talkin’ ‘bout how you’re a selfish, prideful tool

But when I be actin’ the fool, aren't I being one too?

So here’s what I should do

Maybe I should walk a mile in your shoe

So that I can finally see

How it feels to be on the other end of the harshness that be coming out of me

Maybe then I can see how I contribute to this mess we call you and me

I wrote this poem back in January 2012 and continue to go back to it as a reminder that it takes two to make a mess of a relationship. As a child, we grow up on Disney and fairy-tales where everyone lives happily ever after in the end. Unfortunately, that is not how life works. People have flaws. When we put people together, conflicts arise because we are not perfect. We suffer from pride and selfishness - two of the biggest flaws that can end up breaking a relationship that once looked so promising.

The key to mending any conflict within a relationship is not to point the finger and tell the other person what he or she is doing wrong, but to stop and reflect on how you are contributing to the argument. It is so easy to point the finger; it takes a mature person to admit their contribution and ask for forgiveness.

If we truly love someone, it won't matter who is right or who is wrong. What should matter is how do I help fix this mess that we just made. We can only change ourselves; therefore, we need to reflect on how we contributed to see how we can self-improve. If we only focus on our partner and what he or she is doing wrong, we will end up bitter and cold hearted after awhile towards them and eventually wonder where the love went. But if we focus on our own wrong doings and shortcomings admitting to our partner what they are and asking for forgiveness, love will continue in our hearts and break-ups/divorce may eventually be non existing words within our vocabulary.

So let's take the challenge to stop pointing the finger at others and begin to admit that we are part of the mess that we call you and me.

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