The Pain I Relish

At the front door

on my way to work

she kissed me…roughly

toothpaste and cigarettes

I taste and spit dryly

she slaps me…hard

across my bristled cheek

I step in close…reach behind

and take her hair in my fist

a tight ball of tresses

lean in for another

but move too slowly

she bites my lip…roughly

and I crush her mouth with mine

aching bruised lip tender

from yesterday’s goodbye

toothpaste, cigarette, and blood.

I love you, she says

followed by the foulest of language

and I think I snarled

didn’t intend to

but who can control the animal?

Her hand has snuck in

and I feel her nails

through my jeans

grasping me…hurting

the pain I relish.

Don’t be late, she demands

turns and walks away

and with a flip

of a shoulder strap

let’s her gown fall to the floor

before she rounds the corner

reminding me…

what is for dinner