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The Pathetic Sharks

Updated on September 1, 2011

The Pathetic Sharks is a comic strip that features in the adult British comic Viz and has appeared on and off since the first editions. It features a number of Sharks that are vain and childish. Initially they are feared by the humans when they turn up by since they spend their time in petty arguments with each other over some trivial accomplishment mind-numbingly boring and pathetic behaviour they are not feared for long and the humans soon realise they are Pathetic. Instead of hunting for prey, the Sharks hassle people on the beach for crisps, ice cream and toffee, apart for one of the sharks who claims to be "lactose intolerant".

Originally these strips were based around water, seeing as how they are sharks, but this now been extended to show them in various pursuits on the land such as attending Wimbledon.

The Pathetic Sharks

There are Five Pathetic Sharks although they don't all always appear in the strip

  • Rupert - is the largest Shark and has the most forceful personality and is thus the closest the Sharks have to a leader although the others would doubtless dispute this. He has a red bathing cap, a large lolling red tongue, red beach sandals and a red-and-white striped inflatable life-ring around his stomach.

  • Justin - he is slightly smaller than Rupert but has a large hammer sticking out of the top of his head, probably denoting he is Hammerhead Shark. Justin or Maryjane as he is know to his friends gained a "maneater" reputation after being seen out with many half naked "beauties" in the feature film Shark Attack in 1999.
  • Adrian - is the most conventional looking of the sharks as he has a complete set of teeth and an upright dorsal fin. He generally stays in a more normal sharkly horizontal position.
  • Timothy - he has buck teeth, a squint, a damaged looking bent dorsal fin. He frequently complains that he has to put up with innuendo about his sexual orientation. However in June 2008 he ended up marrying his long term partner, Fabio.
  • Henry - he has no teeth, which is unusual for a shark, and a long nose. He was recently killed by a vigilante starfish called Bob, but it is not sure whether this death will mean the end of his character.

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