The Pond In Our Backyard

Dear mckbirdbks, thank you for your generous comments. You made me cry.

RedElf, what an intriguing name! Thank you for your beautiful comment.

Dear Lucky Cats, thank you so much. I wish I was at the hospital now, but, as usual, I am waiting to run another errand for my daughter. If she doesn't get back to me soon, I'm going on to the hospital. I've heard nothing yet from my uncle or his wife yet. I appreciate your prayers, Kathy, and your visit. Love you!

Colin, thank you so much. No matter how old our parents become, they are still mom and dad, just as we forever remain their children. It is difficult, to say the least, to watch our role models, our heroes, succumb to the inevitable process of aging. Their lives shaped everything about our lives. It is hard to imagine the world without them. As always, Colin, your comments soar. They are very comforting today. Thank you

Thank you, BobbiRant. I went to see her and got the word that she needs a replacement valve and 2 stints. So, it's quite involved. She did fine with the procedure today, but she only weighs 115 lbs. now. Normal for her is 130. She looks beautiful, but frail. The saddest part is how lost she looks without dad, especially now.

Dear Genna, You are so kind. I will tell my mom. Her procedure went fine. they found, not only a bad heart valve, but two arteries that need stints. When I went to see her, they told her to get dressed that she was going home. Originally, they planned on keeping her overnight and insisted that someone stay with her in the hospital room. It seems the large artery in the leg that they thread up to to heart in, can bleed out if the "plug" dislodges. So, my aunt Shirley is staying at her home with instructions to put pressure on the vein and call 911, if this would happen. I think it's criminal to send anyone home with a chance that anything could go that wrong. My mom pays a fortune monthly for insurance. Oh, I'm not going to rant. I'd stay with her, too, if I didn't have my Scottie. Shirley was a nurse, though, and she has been so good to my mom. It broke my heart, though, mom is so skinny now and frail looking, although still incredibly beautiful. She just looks lost, especially now. Thank you so much for your support, Genna.

Thank you, Fay, what would I do without you and so many wonderful friends here. I mean it! I would be afraid, alone and sad. My mom's brother, Uncle Joe and his wife, Shirley, have been so kind in taking mom to all the appointments. Today was a heart catherization and she came through fine. However, she will need a new heart valve and 2 stints in badly blocked arteries. She is a skinny little woman, now, and very frail. Gorgeous, though, I must say and the doctor agrees! He said her being so thin is a big advantage to her overall health. She takes more of a backseat these days. She reminded me of you, Fay, when she was younger and with dad's encouragement. She was fiery and writing letters to the editor, the attorney general. Nothing intimidated her, but she deserves to rest and relax some. She is so smart and so beautiful still. The inevitable changes with age, though, are hard to watch. It seems like it hit me upside the head like a bat. All of sudden...

Thank you, Fay, for your understanding and caring. I am going to remember this, so when I need to extend a hand to someone, I will remember how much this means to me.

Thank you, Will. This is more a piece about my mom and dad's relationship due to the turn of events with my mom's health. I still want to do a piece on my relationship with my dad when things settle down a bit. Thanks for visiting and leaving you comment, my friend.

tnvstar, thank you so much for your visit and great comment. You made my day.

Dear drbj, I just got back from spending the day with me mum. She seemed like she really enjoyed my company. She's moving about, but slowly. Next week I'm going with her and my Aunt Shirley to talk with the surgeon. My brother, who is in Alaska teaching some of his nematode expertise called while I was there and I had a great conversation with him, too. I had to get home to my buddy, MacGregor, so I'm going back tomorrow and run some errands for mom. She's kind of beat, but hasn't lost that great brain of hers. She looks so young and considering how bad her heart problem is, she has more energy than I would expect. It is shocking to me that this problem suddenly became so serious. I should realize that we are all mortal...even mom...Thank you for this kind expression of concern, lovely drbj. I can't tell you how much it means to me.

tnvrstar, thank you so much for your visit and your wonderful, encouraging comment. Love it.

Dear Truckstop Sally, I appreciate your stop here and your words. I am truly blessed by so many world class friends. All of you here make the good times better and the bad times bearable. It doesn't get any better than that. Thank you so much.

Dear Jim, You, my friend, are a fabulous poet as I can see from your comment. I can't imagine a better gift than the one you just wrote to me. I will treasure it forever.

Dear Augustine, Not really a dry spell, just so much going on. I had lots of ideas, but my brain had to stop spinning before I could settle down to writing anything worth reading! I've been writing general online articles at AMS for experience and a little pay. Even that, I haven't contributed to in a week. We all suffer some bumps and jolts in life. I appreciate the strong, supportive group of friends, like you, that make a real difference in my ability to cope. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers, thoughts and immeasurable kindness.

Dear Poetic Fool, I am so glad you liked my piece. Your commentary makes me feel that I just might consider myself an artist. Not a great one yet, but all I need is potential and then my limitations are only set by myself. Give me an inch, and I'll run a mile. Thank you for your wonderful, encouraging words.

Dear Colin, Your words to me are so touchingly beautiful, I am crying. I talked to my mom today about you and all of my beautiful friends here. She liked the Andy Williams song choice and we talked about that experience when she was just getting to know dad. It was such a good day. I am so glad I have the opportunity to enjoy her company...for whatever amount of time. Thank you for coming back and fortifying me with your words and caring. I will forever be grateful for my time spent here among the finest people I have ever known.

RealHousewife, Thank you sound so lame, but I am so incredibly grateful for your support and your awesome comments. You make STL so much cooler and that's a tall order for summer in this city.

Dearest Kathy, Your kind words are the best. I just got back from my mom's. She is looking at some extensive heart repair in the way of a replacement valve and stints. I saw the word "bypass" on her notes. She is not going to submit to open heart surgery at her age, but will consider the less invasive procedure involved with a new valve and stints. I noticed today she gets breathless very easily. She has an appt I'm going to attend next week for consult with the surgeon. Thank you so much for your concern and good wishes, my friend. Without you and the support I've gotten from my hub family, this would be much harder. I don't feel alone in this as a result and that is a blessing to me. And, thank you for your beautiful comments on my piece, Kathy. Your words mean the world to me. Love you, my dear friend.

Sounds absolutely divine, RealHousewife. The weather sounds like such a mundane topic, but not any more! At my mom's home, the cicadas are at a deafening roar. At my apt...nothin!!! I thought everyone in STL was going to be annoyed by them. Maybe the ones here on Devonshire are lazy! I hope they stay that way. Enjoy the meatloaf, a/c and your wonderful company!

Dear ahorseback, My pace these days is more like frantic. I just got back from running an errand for my daughter AGAIN. I'm ready to grab me mum, my faithful friend, MacGregor and head for places unknown. Thank you for your kind understanding, friend.

Dear Kathy, I so appreciate you sharing the story of your dad and his heart surgery. I'm going to be on "pins and needles" until my mom's condition is addressed. I noticed she gets breathless when she gets excited talking about those things that aggravate her. I am trying to be very careful in talking about some of my issues with her, because she's just not up to it right now. In other words, no ranting for me! I can tell by her lack of color and general unsteadiness, that her blood flow is very restricted. If I wasn't worried that MacGregor might be a contention for her (she had a Scottie when we were growing up), I'd bring him along and stay with her. But, I don't want to ask and put her in an awkward position. I am sure it will work out as it is supposed to. I'm working on not getting stressed out, because I need and want to be there for her.

Thank you, Kathy, for your kindness and concern. I was reminded yesterday that things can always be worse in an email from my ex, Paul. His sis has a 28-year old son, that is in SLU Hospital with end-stage, full blown AIDS. His mom has been divorced from his father for many years and she and Josh are best friends. She was in denial about his lifestyle and his health problems. The chaplain and medical personnel spoke with her Thursday to say if/when he comes home, he will require Hospice to keep him comfortable as this is all that can be done now. Pam looked at Paul after they left, and said "what do they mean"? I don't think she will be able to accept losing him. I feel so bad for Josh and everyone that loves him. It is a tremendously devastating blow. Please keep him and his family in your kind thoughts, Kathy. And, thank you for being there for me. I love you.

Thanks, Gary

No problem, gguy! I've noticed the same thing at the hub. Occasionally, I don't get notice. Thanks for stopping by and your comments. Appreciate it!

Dearest Maria, my sweet friend, I love you. Thank you so much for your extraordinary kindness and caring. I will come back to read your comment often as it is so gentle and generous. Although I am not an organized religion fan, I saw a preacher this morning called "Joel" on TV and I was so struck by his honest kindness. He talked about how much a compliment or kind word can change the life of someone we never know. He sighted the example of his beautiful mother, who had polio as a child and one leg was far smaller than the other. She had to buy two pair of shoes in different sizes to accommodate the difference. He said she always hid her legs as she was very self-conscious. One day, before Joel was born, she was walking in front of her husband (Joel's father) who was walking with a friend. The friend said outloud to Joel's dad, "She walks like a princess." That one comment, which she overhead, changed his mom forever. Joel said his mom still tells the story. He said his mom stood up straight and from that moment on, carried herself like "royalty".

You do that, Maria. You lift people up. You make a difference. Thank you, my friend.

Dear Maria,

Yes, our mom's are so precious. It's hard to imagine the world without them. I got an email from my ex on Friday that his 28 year old nephew, his sister's son, is dying of AIDS. He is in St. Louis University Hospital. His mom and he are very close. She denied he is gay and cannot accept that he is so ill. The chaplain spoke with her about the fact that if/when he goes home, he will need Hospice care. After they left, Paul, my ex, told me she looked at him and asked "what do they mean?" It's too sad to even comprehend.

Thank you, again, Maria. I am so glad that I met you.

Dear izettl, Thank you so much for your prayer, and your comment. You are so correct in your statement. I've not seen that kind of love since, nothing that even comes close. The fact that I lived it and I never saw a day when it waivered. It was true, strong and forever. And, rare. I witnessed it throughtout my growing up and I know I will never experience anything like it. Because I grew up seeing how devoted they were to each other, I assumed it was not unusual and that someday I would have a marriage just like there's. After two tries, and nowhere near, I'll let that be a lesson. They were magic together and I'm so glad I am lucky enough to have been a part of it.

Dear Maria,

I'm not someone my ex relies on, actually. I don't want to take any credit for that. He runs to his adult children mostly. In fact, I felt left in the dust during our marriage, as he seemed to prefer their company. I felt honored that he included me in the sad reality of his nephew. That family seems to be very self-protective and secretive. I understand the need for privacy, but I think much of their reticence to share stemmed from some false idea about appearances. I think they are a clan that places too much importance on what other people might think. In reality, most people are involved and concerned with their own lives and give little attention to the dynamics of those they ultimately find off-putting. It's not surprising that Josh is very popular with a wide circle of friends outside the immediate family. He is charming, sweet, good-looking, open and engaging. He will be missed by many.

You are so right on, Maria, about coming home to my little man, MacGregor. He has his own little, completely endearing greeting routine. There is no reticence in his affection, obvious love and devotion to me. I adore him.

I wish a wonderful week for you, too, my friend. Love to you from me.

Dearest friend, Martie, thank you for sharing your touching story about your mom & dad's love. I do feel my dad with me everyday. My mom does, too. He makes his presence known when something reminds us of him. Thank you for your kind wishes. They mean everything to me.

You are the most adorable woman I know, Kathy. I so appreciate your idea. In fact, I wanted to do that very thing, but didn't want to be morose. You reminded me of something I wanted to tell you, my friend. When I began writing "Letters to the Editor" at the STL Post Dispatch, I have had almost every one I sent published. I am not bragging, but I have to tell you the competition is stiff. Everyone at my workplace supported my efforts. However, the one person I loved sharing these with was my mom. After my dad died, I called her as soon as I got home from work daily. I would read her one of my letters and she always GOT IT. I didn't have to explain. She would give me her wonderful, always favorable opinion. I had so much fun and she was my cheering section and I believe, for the first time, she was actually proud of something I did. The letters always came from my heart, but, honestly, I wrote them for her. So, Kathy, I am going to take my laptop to her home and show her! Thank you for taking away my doubts on this. I love you, my friend. Thank you for all of your kind thoughts.

Dearest treasure, Kathy, You've got me laughing, too. It's amazing how similar experiences trigger memories forgotten. One of my letters that the Post did not publish, much to my mother's chagrin, was the one about the baseball steroid scandal, specifically about Mark McGwire, STL Cardinal, who shamefully, stupidly lied about his involvement. I wrote a scathing letter that included the effects of testosterone on the penis...shrinkage factor-wise. St. Louis had erected a sign naming a stretch of highway after him. With the poor character he showed at congressional meetings, STL decided to take it down. I wrote that maybe they could leave it up with the addition of an "itty bitty baseball weiner" on it to serve as a reminder of him. My mom roared with laughter and was so disappointed when it didn't make the cut. It was fun anyway and well worth the effort in hearing my mom's unabashed laughter!!!

Thank you for the info regarding your dad's bypass. I saw the word on some of her paperwork from the test results and panicked, but I'm hoping "bypass" today means the balloon procedure they described. My aunt, who took charge of the appointment scheduling, hasn't scheduled the appt. yet, but that is when we will have a discussion that answers all questions.

Again, Kathy, thank you for your caring. Love you, my friend.

Dear Bella, I don't know what I'd do with you and all the friends I love here at the hub. Thank you so much for your caring prayers for my mom. Thank God for air-conditioning as we are having a stretch of record breaking heat. My mom couldn't survive extended stretches of this misery. St. Louis also had a 4.6 earthquake yesterday at 3:00 AM, and I realized how blessed we are to have not suffered damage or worse, had it been stronger. I can't begin to imagine the misery of that kind of trauma in this kind of heat.

Again, Bella, thank you for your kindness.

How well you know me, Kathy! I'm laughing out loud at "or else we would have heard". For me personally, the heat is horrendous, but I have escaped the floods (with more to come in the attempts to divert, many others are looking at a wait for the floods to arrive). During the tornados, I was in the thick of it, and managed to miss any brunt force, other than the incessant sirens. Joplin, as you know, was a "5" storm force, with about 155 casualties now. If I was so inclined, I'd be walking with a "doomsday" sign on my back.

The "weiner" is an ass. Gorgeous wife, probably gone, career, up shit creek...for what? You know what, Kathy, my compassion runs dry in this case. The world is full of damaged people with terrible, "beyond their control" circumstances. For them I have great empathy. Weiner, whatever psycho-sexual problem he has, he is sniveling on the wrong shoulder if he would look to me for sympathy. If he had control of his weiner, he'd stand up like a man and resign his D.C. position. Join the ranks of the unemployed and see how small his weiner can really get. Well, at least he'd stop sending pictures. There, see, Kathy, I've solved his problem and the rest of the world's disgust! I hope this leaves you laughing, my friend.

Dear Kathy, I knew you'd catch those intentional slips! Whoops! Soon, the weiner will have all the time in the world to play...considering he's a laughingstock and no one else will touch him with a 10' pole! From my vantage point, the only thing in his pants of any interest to his fans would be his wallet...and that will be shrinking soon too!

Just talkin the truth. We calls 'em like we see 'em.

Thanks, gguy. Appreciate it!

Thank you, Springboard. I appreciate your visit and you very kind wishes. My mom has yet to see the surgeon so the extent of what's necessary is yet to be determined. She's recovered from the diagnostic procedure and isn't anxious for anything more. She is more worried about becoming a burden than anything else. She feels if she were 60 rather than almost 84, she'd be more inclined to intervene. But, since we're waiting to talk to the doc, it's premature for her to make any decisions until she knows the full scope. I'm helping with driving, errands, wherever she wants help. She is an independent kind of person and is not demanding. I'm grateful that she doesn't have to be convinced that driving is a bad idea both for her and others right now.

Thanks again, Springboard!

Your words have such a profound effect on me, Ken, I stood up after reading them a second time, went to find something I wanted to reference in my reply to you, and completely lost memory of what I was looking for, so I wandered back here to try to express how much your words mean to me. You've left me with my brain flying in too many directions. First, I want to thank you for your time and attention in my writing. That alone is an honor.

I don't go to church anymore. I always struggled to find meaning there. But, I do believe in God. I hang on to the hope in your words that dad waits for mom with open arms in Heaven. I came home the other day and found a pamphlet under my door that is titled "Would you Like to Know the Truth"? I gave it a cursory glance and was stopped in my tracks by a question posed that says "What Happens To Us When We Die?" The answer states that "At death, humans cease to exist. The dead are conscious of nothing at all" Ecclesiastes 9:5. Since the dead cannot know, feel or experience anything, they cannot harm-or help-the living. Psalm 146:3,4. What do you think, Ken? I can't get this out of my mind now. I don't want to even consider this a possibility. It scares me, but even if true, there is nothing I can do to change it.

I know you have suffered, my friend. Yet, you are not cynical and express a deep understanding and wonder at the love I attempt to relay that my parents share. I took it for granted while growing up. I saw nothing extraordinary in it. I didn't realize until I looked for the same, how rare it is. And, here at the hub, through your generous spirit and remarkable talent, I learned how its absence affects a child growing up without it. You are a beautiful man, saddlerider, and my life is so much richer for having met you. No matter what befalls me in my lifetime, I will always hold on to that. Remember, my friend, you are loved.

Oh, sweet Mohan, I am so honored by your words. I, too, am subject to superlatives, but goosebumps? I have them now. Nothing anyone could say could make me feel the way I do right at this moment. I realize I sound melodramatic and forgive me for that, but I am being honest and I thank you for reaching out to me with such a beautiful expression.

Thank you for your kind wishes for me mum. She has not seen the surgeon yet as I know she isn't anxious to undergo valve replacement and two stints. She has decided she will not have bypass surgery. The other less traumatic procedures she will consider.

Thank you for your warm, touching words, Mohan.

Love sent your way

x

As I enjoyed your magnificent journey on Roan Mountain, Micky. I tried to imagine myself as one of the cyclist on that beautiful, yet arduous endeavor. Your descriptive write and your video and that scary warning sign, the unexpected, icy pavement and your journey in the night without lights, made it unlike any bicycle ride I've ever imagined, much less reality! Talk about smooth...not much could be smoother than you using the light from the churchgoers cars to aid your journey in the darkness. Sounds like divine intervention. Thanks for stopping here, Micky, and your beautiful, encouraging words.

And to you, tricky Dicky Mee!

Why does it not surprise me that the Frog Prince has a pond? I couldn't "ribbit" resist, Prince.

Thank you for your understanding words. That pond is out of its bounds now. All the rains have it looking more like a small lake. I use to spend a lot of time down at the pond catching and kissing some awfully cute frogs! Alas, no princes.

Dear Neil, As always, your comment makes me dance! Thank you for your kind thoughts, my friend.

Dear Eiddwen,

Thank you for your stop at the pond and sweet comments. My hub family is my impetus for reaching new expressions of sharing and growth in life experiences. Sometimes sad, scary, joyous, or exhilarating, my hub friends continue to be here for me in support. I will be forever grateful. Thank you, Eiddwen

Dear tnvrstar, Thank you for taking the time to visit and for the compliment.

Your comment gave me goose bumps, Micky Dee. My mom has survived the bypass surgery, but she has been traumatized by the ordeal. Rehab was a nightmare with the staff more concerned about getting every dime from medicare than being concerned about the shoulder injury they created. Now home, mom, is losing weight and although her heart is physically improved, her will is not. Your last two lines say it all. Thank you, Micky Dee, for your understanding.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your words, Micky Dee. When my father died 9-years ago of a bleed at his brainstem, he remained in a coma and, mercifully, died in 24-hours. I stayed with him and was disheartened at the level of callousness and resentment from the staff in just changing the bag that collected his urine. My mom received not one, but double-billing on his brief, poorly-attended stay. The system is abysmal for the old, sick and dying.

The EMT that shoved a basket under my dad's face and said "I'll be pissed if you puke on me, old man" were the last words my sweet dad heard before lapsing into a coma. I'm heartbroken forever over such an absence of compassion by the medical community today. God help us all.

Its wonderful to see your beautiful face, Neil. I've been remiss in contributing at the hub, of late. Me mum is home and doing well following bypass surgery. She is still losing weight, which is worrisome, but hopefully, that too will stabilize. Thank you for your encouraging support, Neil. You are awesome. Mmmmmwwwaaa

Dear acaetnna, Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate it.

Thank you, kindly, justmesuzanne!

Dear Phoebe, I appreciate your visit and kind words. Thank you.