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Ta Panta (The Re-enchantment of Chaos)

Updated on July 13, 2017
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Justin Aptaker graduated summa cum laude from the University of Tennessee, earning a B.A. in psychology and a minor in religious studies.

It's all imaginary

it's all real

it's all ephemeral

all eternal

every little gesture

every racing emotion

every breathless whisper

every dark and mystical room

overflowing with night air and moonlight

nothing is ever lost

truth is what is not forgotten

suffering, we learn

learning is remembering

the pain you give me

brings me back to myself

and I remember

who and what I was

before I had eyes or ears or even chloroplasts

the symbol on my hand is changing

on fire

like all of gleaming reality itself

the pearl of price which blinds the impoverished merchants

who wander naked and lost

hawking all their wares on every noisome corner

the fire is all consuming

all sanctifying

all purifying

all changing

all revealing

I am in the fire

and in the fire, all is holy

and every last thing is eternally in flames (even the merchants. and i am a merchant)

and sleep is the great activity

and death is a dear friend

who betrays with one kiss

but whose betrayal is love incarnate

I am one

with my many selves

and though I may be above you

you hear my voice

you fumble after the meaning until it finds you

I am

the light bursting out of a broken lantern

the diamond with an infinite number of perfect cuts

the voice crying milk and honey into the wilderness

the children's song that flies above the lamentation up on the desert plane

the melody that found its way into your equations

the dream that startles you wide awake

the life that pulsates in decay and corruption

the happily ever after horror story

I am

the unstoppable force

that meets the immovable object

and the result is nothing

nothing but the purest, clearest light

that has never entered the mind

take heart, my love

the raging storms of your own neurochemical electricity

will give birth to their own silence

all thought is designed to produce its own resounding negation
all speech is born to fade beautifully

all music is played until it is over

and it's closing time

and the bars empty

and the streets grow silent and still under the street lights

and the last enemy, who you fear with the Great Fear

unmasks herself, a friend and a lover

The Lover of lovers

and trembling

you fall forever into her holy and erotic embrace


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