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The Social Network Monster

Updated on May 29, 2012

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The Introduction

One evening I was trolling my Facebook feed while waiting for a family member to call so I could direct them to my house. They were travelling from out of town and had never been to my home and since this person was not one for technology, I offered to guide them in once they were a few minutes out from my place. Well, while waiting I came across a friend's status that got me thinking. It basically read as follows:

"Dear Facebook friends,
Can you please stop liking all the "like this if you (fill in the blank)" bull crap? If you become a repeat offender of said likings you will be blocked. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
Love, Me"

As I read this status I couldn't help but realize I knew people like this as well. I started to pen a reply and the resulting message below was so large and amazing I felt it would better serve its purpose if it were posted as this article. Enjoy!

The Rant

I personally have realized that many people have become cereal "likers." It isn't for any particular reason other than to just "like" stuff. It must be that sense of accomplishment that they get when they first "like" something. I felt it the first time I liked something. But it isn't as good each additional time they "like" things. Essentially they keep trying to regain that euphoria that they first got from that first "like" so they keep coming back for more until they are "liking" things so much that it begins to alienate their friends and family. Soon they can't help but "like" anything that moves. They "like" puppies, then LOLcats, then Celine Dion, Glee, Tenacious D, the Titanic, Avatar the Movie (both of them!), Talk Like a Pirate Day and the list goes on and on. They "like" their family has no choice but to have an intervention (which they "like"). Soon they are packed off to rehab where they can get clean.

But the horror is that as soon as they get back from rehab Facebook is waiting. They fall right back into the trap. The worst part is that even if they resist the temptation of the Facebook "like", there are other pitfalls! Let's not forget the insidious "thumbs up"! Then there is the tweet and the "+1". What has our society come to that we are inundated with horrors of the "likes", "thumbs ups", "tweets" and the "+1's"? But like a bad infomercial I must say, "But wait there's more!" We now have the pox of "pinning" and "re-pinning" from Pinterest! Then there is be cure of the duckface girls on Instagram. The meme's that meme upon the memes that meme. Where does it all end? Is there an end in sight? No. But we can hope for peace. We can hope that one day this curse, this affliction will stop following us. Until then, please "like", "thumbs up", "tweet", "retweet", "+1", "pin" and "repin" this rant. If nothing else, I may just feel special from all the attention I get from the monster, the addiction we call social media.


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    • ibbarkingmad profile image

      Brian 5 years ago from Utah

      Sarcastic satire is kind of my cup of tea. If you look at my other humor price about house hunting, you'll get why I said what I said. Sarcasm is my way of staying sane in an insane world.

    • recappers delight profile image

      recappers delight 5 years ago

      Do you want us to give us a thumbs up on this page, which is essentially another social medium? Smiley face. By the way, I do understand your feeling. Facebook is very, very invasive.

    • dmop profile image

      dmop 5 years ago from Cambridge City, IN

      That was a pretty good rant I must say I liked it. I gave it a vote up, funny, Oh; and I liked it.