The Tidal Wave - A Poem

Without you
I drift on thru life.
A shadow
That was once your wife.

I don't know how to play
This widow's card.
To honor you, I can't loose me
But this quest is hard.

I feel lost in a sea of my own grief.
An ocean of emotion threatening the essence of me.
This is not like any part of me that you once loved.
This is nothing like anything that we dreamed of.

I muster up Anger to shake the still water.
I use the confusions as fuel to take me farther.
All this effort to take one baby step.
To travel thru the ocean of tears I have wept.

The beautiful memories carry me high.
Your abundant love keeps me in the sky.
Yet the pain and the sorrows reach up from the depths.
They grab at my ankles to remind me of your death.

I use all of my strength to create this tidal wave.
I see the shore line and I try to be brave.
Finally my goal is in sight.
Soon I will be still on the sand and soak up the light.

Exhausted I come crashing down.
Hoping no one is near for they will surely drown.
I get my wish for a moment or two.
Then I am pulled out to sea to start it all anew.

I float thru the water with nothing left.
My smile is a tribute to my great success.
I didn't get much time on the sand,
But in the chaos, I stole some in my hand.
While I am not where everyone thinks I should be.
There is nothing more beautiful than the calm after the storm in the sea.