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The Toothpaste Mangler and Other Pet Peeves

Updated on March 27, 2012

This is about pet peeves. We all have them. Those seemingly innocuous things that really get our pressure up. And yet other people don't see what is such a big deal. Are they clueless? Are you crazy? Maybe a little of both. These are a few of my biggest pet peeves and how I have learned to deal with them. Or at least not let them send me to an early grave!

The Toothpaste Mangler

Nothing gets my blood boiling like looking down at the bathroom counter and seeing a twisted mangled tube of toothpaste. Perhaps I am on the anal side, but I find it much more efficient, not to mention aesthetically pleasing. when the tube retains a recognizable tube-like shape and the paste is squeezed from the back end to the front. Repeatedly squeezing the middle seems to accomplish nothing more than paste in both directions separated by a crumpled mangled mess. Why on earth do people do this? Perhaps they like the appearance of the tube once it resembles a sort of wrinkled bow-tie. Or perhaps they enjoy the inevitable battle that ensues when the paste in the front runs out and they must now direct the remainder through the twisted wreck of a tube. Your toothbrush handle, by the way, is an excellent paste guiding device. Or perhaps they are just lazy slobs who don't care. Who don't even notice the eyesore they create. Who simply grab the tube and squeeze wherever their hand falls like some sort of Neanderthal. I believe these are the same people that let the crust accumulate so thickly around the end of the tube that the cap is nearly impossible to replace. A sticky twisted wreck carelessly tossed on the counter. Harsh? Yes. I know. But that is my gut reaction to toothpaste manglers. I don't mean to think that they are bad people. My mother is a toothpaste mangler. And I love her. She recently stayed with me for an extended period. And we (gasp!) shared the toothpaste. And every morning, no matter how many times I fixed it, I would find the toothpaste squeezed from the middle. I was not about to instruct my mother on proper paste squeezing technique. A girl has to pick her battles. So I simply rolled up the end of the tube and secured it with a rubber band. Problem solved.

The Brake Checker

These are the folks that seem to spend more time with their foot on the gas then on the break. Perhaps they are secretly testing some new break system. How much can it take before it wears out? I doubt it. Or maybe they are testing their or standard brake system. Trust me buddy. It works just as well now as it did two minutes ago. Usually it's the morons going so fast that they need to break for every little bend in the road. Or they are up the butt of the motorist in front of them and are trying to avoid becoming intimately acquainted with his bumper. Listen, if they haven't sped up or moved over yet, they aren't going to. Back off. And what is the deal with the break lights on the highway? Why on earth do you, at 65 mph in open free flowing traffic, feel the need to reduce your speed by slamming on your brakes? If you think you saw a cop, trust me, he saw you first. The braking just proves you know you were going too fast. Or perhaps you were avoiding a piece of debris or a furry critter. News flash. There is nothing there. So you either need to get your eyes checked or your meds adjusted. If you are, similar to the moron mentioned before, riding up so close to the person in front of you that you must continuously hit the breaks or otherwise risk sitting in his back seat, again i will say, back off! And finally, if you think frequent brake use is standard procedure at 65 mph, please surrender your license now. These drivers really used to get me going. Once I saw those red lights for the third or forth time i was just plain seeing red. Partly because I hate playing the stop go fast slow game. And partly because I could not stop stressing out over why these people are driving lie that. Well I finally had to just let it go. For sanity's sake. Now I just back off and relax. And take comfort in knowing that my break will last ten times longer. Not to mention my better gas mileage!

The Silverware Tosser

I think the majority of kitchens have that drawer that holds utensils in a handy little tray that organizes them. Well, I know mine does. Knives, dinner forks, salad forks, small spoons, big spoons. Now this might be me being overly anal again, but I like when the proper utensils are in the proper slots. That is the point after all. Isn't it. So why is it that not everyone follows the rules? For example, I always know when my grandfather has put the dishes away. I go to get a dinner fork and surprise, its a tiny salad fork. Or better yet, a spoon. I have never witnessed it, but I think he just throws a pile of silverware on top and where they fall is where they go. Now if you are going to do that, why have the tray at all. Just throw them in a pile and fish out what you need. I used to get on his case about it. But I had to give in. He won't budge. And should I expect him to? He is 82 years old. I should be glad he's putting dishes away at all! Though I have pointed out that sorting the forks into the proper bins will help keep his mind sharp. He didn't buy it. So my reluctant solution is that as soon as I pull out the first spoon that was supposed to be a fork, I fix the whole drawer. Or better yet, I get to the dishes first. And before I let myself get mad, I remind myself that he is letting me live rent free. The least I could do is cut the guy a break now and then.

So those are the big three. And the three I have had the most success minimizing. Now its on to working on the hundreds more. I said I was anal, didn't I? There are the late signalers. The non signalers! The pajama as outer wearers. The slippers as shoes folks. The loud chewers. The hacking coughers. The non-looking street crossers. The non-recyclers. The pen stealers. The put it back in the wrong spotters. The won't hang up the phone gabbers... I could go on for days! And maybe some day I will make peace with them all. Or not. We wouldn't want life to get too boring now would we?


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    • blondey profile image

      Blondey Hubpages 

      5 years ago

      It's nice to sit on porches I sat at my friends porch today with a nice view soaking up the sun and all that good stuff

    • DanaTeresa profile imageAUTHOR

      Dana Strang 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      lovedoctor926 - SQUEEZE FROM THE BACK!!!! I am nearly out of toothpaste and my own tube is bothering me because it is a little crunched from getting the last bits out. I wonder if there is a support group for this!!!

    • DanaTeresa profile imageAUTHOR

      Dana Strang 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      Blondey - I don't know what it is about the toothpaste tube. It really gets me!!! I always used to find ancient food im my mother's fridge. I cannot understand how a person could do that! Then again, i am sure I do things that people don't understand...

      About the porches. OLD PEOPLE! They sit on them. My friend, Cesar, is totally going to be that old guy sitting on the porch in shorts and black knee socks yelling at kids. I know it! In general though, it is rare to see a person on the porch. Maybe it is just knwong that you could sit there. I would. :)

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 

      5 years ago

      Great list! I'm guilty of the crusty mangled toothpaste, but that's only because I tend to brush my teeth several times during the day. The good thing about this is that I don't have to share my bathroom with anyone so nobody gets to see that I'm the owner of a mangled toothpaste tube. lol. Happy Easter! voted up!

    • blondey profile image

      Blondey Hubpages 

      5 years ago

      I found the toothpaste one the most hilarious of the three! Very funny. I agree with you and that rubber band, or in the picture clip, is a good idea for reminding someone...though it would be really annoying!

      Well, I always keep my tubes in order (and my utensils) so if you come over, you wont have to worry! LOL

      Even worse I have relatives who are hoarders and needless to say have rotten food in their fridge and pretty much filthy everywhere....what can you say...try to stay away I'd advise...or it could really get to you!!!

      Great hub up and awesome

      Rose

      oh...another thought...why do all the people who have porches never sit on them and there are chairs? I'd like to know ;)

    • DanaTeresa profile imageAUTHOR

      Dana Strang 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      KDuBarry03 - i kow what you mean. i did't find out until recently that my own mother AND best friend are toothpaste manglers. Right under my nose all these years! :)

    • profile image

      KDuBarry03 

      5 years ago

      Living in a house of 9, it's hard to tell who's the toothpaste mangler! LOL

      Great hub, Dana!

    • DanaTeresa profile imageAUTHOR

      Dana Strang 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      Denise - I could could add hundreds! If I really start listing, I get to feeling a little nutty. Especially because I do a lot of them myself! :)

    • DanaTeresa profile imageAUTHOR

      Dana Strang 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      tillsontitan- Thanks for the votes. After one of my friends read this, she told me thatshe was a toothpaste mangler! Good thing we were never roommates! We had a good laugh over it.

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 

      5 years ago from North Carolina

      Funny...haha I could add a few to those myself. :)

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 

      5 years ago from New York

      This was great! Not only did you list your top three pet peeves but I think you hit everyone else's and I love the way you wrote it up!

      Voted up and funny.

    • DanaTeresa profile imageAUTHOR

      Dana Strang 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Vellur - It is beyond me how people can do that. BUt I am sure there are plenty of things I do hat would rile up someont else. T each his own I guess. Thanks for the compliment.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 

      6 years ago from Dubai

      Oh yes, I do relate to these peeves. I hate crusty, mangled toothpaste tubes. Great hub.

    • DanaTeresa profile imageAUTHOR

      Dana Strang 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Docmo - oh the insanity!!!! i might occasionally be guilty 1 and 2. But 3, 4, and 5, are just never ever ok. I am getting nervous just thinking about them! i might just have nightmares tonight! :)

    • DanaTeresa profile imageAUTHOR

      Dana Strang 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      cclitgirl - glad to make you laugh. licky you to not be bothered. i have to practically hold back my hands from fixing other peoples toothpase tubes!

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 

      6 years ago from UK

      ha ha I'd laugh if I wasnt crying as I do get aggravated by such acts and I've got someone at home who does all that!!! How about (1) The Sock stealer (2) The letter hoarder (3) Empty carton in fridge placer (4) Toilet roll non renewer (5)overflowing garbage binner - nowhati'm sayin? up and away, dear Dana, up and away.

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Calhoun 

      6 years ago from Western NC

      Hehe, you really made me laugh out loud. Now I'm getting stares. ;) Thanks for a funny read and I have these pet-peeves, but for some reason, I don't get too bothered by it. I just might never be able to think of a mangled tube of toothpaste the same again. A bowtie. HAHAHAHA

    • DanaTeresa profile imageAUTHOR

      Dana Strang 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Linda - Oh the list is longer. I limited my rant to those three for sake of brevity. Was planning on writing a few more and I sort of wanderer off into other things. I am a bit of a spaz like that.

      Glad you liked it. After looking at it again, I will definitely be making some edits. Thanks for reading.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 

      6 years ago from Orlando, FL

      LOL! These are awesome!! I'm impressed with only three peeves! I think my peeve hub has 26 and I still need to create a part 2! :)

    • DanaTeresa profile imageAUTHOR

      Dana Strang 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Jools99 - hahaha! glad you can relate. Or wait. I'm not glad for you. Am I?!? It is funny how worked up we can get over such little things. I really do laugh at myself sometimes when I realize how out of proportion my reaction is. Perhaps some meditation is in order. :)

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 

      6 years ago from North-East UK

      My hubby uses all the toothpaste up and rolls the tube as he goes so that you have to remove it to put your toothbrush back in the glass...gggrrrr, I understand your peeves :o)

    • DanaTeresa profile imageAUTHOR

      Dana Strang 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Bill, I have a feeling I vote the same way :) And my drive this morning reminded me of another huge pet peeve of min. The excessive horn beepers! Those things are for emergencies people! I hate car horns. Have a great day.

    • DanaTeresa profile imageAUTHOR

      Dana Strang 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Bob- Ha! I will admit that I am guilty of some of my own pet peeves. Yet I only get mad when other people do them. That is what makes pet peeves so interesting to me... Go easy on the toothpaste. What did he ever do to you?! :)

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      6 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I love pet peeve hubs and this one is no exception. I have the same peeves so either we are both anal or the world is seriously screwed up. I know which way I vote. :) Great hub and a nice chuckle to begin my day.

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 

      6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Ha! Chuckle, chuckle. Those things, like the toothpaste, regularly happen in my abode...but I can't be too down on the culprit because I live alone!

      Bob

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