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The Toothpaste Mangler and Other Pet Peeves
This is about pet peeves. We all have them. Those seemingly innocuous things that really get our pressure up. And yet other people don't see what is such a big deal. Are they clueless? Are you crazy? Maybe a little of both. These are a few of my biggest pet peeves and how I have learned to deal with them. Or at least not let them send me to an early grave!
The Toothpaste Mangler
Nothing gets my blood boiling like looking down at the bathroom counter and seeing a twisted mangled tube of toothpaste. Perhaps I am on the anal side, but I find it much more efficient, not to mention aesthetically pleasing. when the tube retains a recognizable tube-like shape and the paste is squeezed from the back end to the front. Repeatedly squeezing the middle seems to accomplish nothing more than paste in both directions separated by a crumpled mangled mess. Why on earth do people do this? Perhaps they like the appearance of the tube once it resembles a sort of wrinkled bow-tie. Or perhaps they enjoy the inevitable battle that ensues when the paste in the front runs out and they must now direct the remainder through the twisted wreck of a tube. Your toothbrush handle, by the way, is an excellent paste guiding device. Or perhaps they are just lazy slobs who don't care. Who don't even notice the eyesore they create. Who simply grab the tube and squeeze wherever their hand falls like some sort of Neanderthal. I believe these are the same people that let the crust accumulate so thickly around the end of the tube that the cap is nearly impossible to replace. A sticky twisted wreck carelessly tossed on the counter. Harsh? Yes. I know. But that is my gut reaction to toothpaste manglers. I don't mean to think that they are bad people. My mother is a toothpaste mangler. And I love her. She recently stayed with me for an extended period. And we (gasp!) shared the toothpaste. And every morning, no matter how many times I fixed it, I would find the toothpaste squeezed from the middle. I was not about to instruct my mother on proper paste squeezing technique. A girl has to pick her battles. So I simply rolled up the end of the tube and secured it with a rubber band. Problem solved.
The Brake Checker
These are the folks that seem to spend more time with their foot on the gas then on the break. Perhaps they are secretly testing some new break system. How much can it take before it wears out? I doubt it. Or maybe they are testing their or standard brake system. Trust me buddy. It works just as well now as it did two minutes ago. Usually it's the morons going so fast that they need to break for every little bend in the road. Or they are up the butt of the motorist in front of them and are trying to avoid becoming intimately acquainted with his bumper. Listen, if they haven't sped up or moved over yet, they aren't going to. Back off. And what is the deal with the break lights on the highway? Why on earth do you, at 65 mph in open free flowing traffic, feel the need to reduce your speed by slamming on your brakes? If you think you saw a cop, trust me, he saw you first. The braking just proves you know you were going too fast. Or perhaps you were avoiding a piece of debris or a furry critter. News flash. There is nothing there. So you either need to get your eyes checked or your meds adjusted. If you are, similar to the moron mentioned before, riding up so close to the person in front of you that you must continuously hit the breaks or otherwise risk sitting in his back seat, again i will say, back off! And finally, if you think frequent brake use is standard procedure at 65 mph, please surrender your license now. These drivers really used to get me going. Once I saw those red lights for the third or forth time i was just plain seeing red. Partly because I hate playing the stop go fast slow game. And partly because I could not stop stressing out over why these people are driving lie that. Well I finally had to just let it go. For sanity's sake. Now I just back off and relax. And take comfort in knowing that my break will last ten times longer. Not to mention my better gas mileage!
The Silverware Tosser
I think the majority of kitchens have that drawer that holds utensils in a handy little tray that organizes them. Well, I know mine does. Knives, dinner forks, salad forks, small spoons, big spoons. Now this might be me being overly anal again, but I like when the proper utensils are in the proper slots. That is the point after all. Isn't it. So why is it that not everyone follows the rules? For example, I always know when my grandfather has put the dishes away. I go to get a dinner fork and surprise, its a tiny salad fork. Or better yet, a spoon. I have never witnessed it, but I think he just throws a pile of silverware on top and where they fall is where they go. Now if you are going to do that, why have the tray at all. Just throw them in a pile and fish out what you need. I used to get on his case about it. But I had to give in. He won't budge. And should I expect him to? He is 82 years old. I should be glad he's putting dishes away at all! Though I have pointed out that sorting the forks into the proper bins will help keep his mind sharp. He didn't buy it. So my reluctant solution is that as soon as I pull out the first spoon that was supposed to be a fork, I fix the whole drawer. Or better yet, I get to the dishes first. And before I let myself get mad, I remind myself that he is letting me live rent free. The least I could do is cut the guy a break now and then.
So those are the big three. And the three I have had the most success minimizing. Now its on to working on the hundreds more. I said I was anal, didn't I? There are the late signalers. The non signalers! The pajama as outer wearers. The slippers as shoes folks. The loud chewers. The hacking coughers. The non-looking street crossers. The non-recyclers. The pen stealers. The put it back in the wrong spotters. The won't hang up the phone gabbers... I could go on for days! And maybe some day I will make peace with them all. Or not. We wouldn't want life to get too boring now would we?