ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Final Judgment: Horror Flash Fiction by cam

Updated on November 9, 2017
cam8510 profile image

Chris has written more than 300 flash fiction/short stories. Working Vacation was 21st out of 6,700 in the 2016 Writer's Digest competition.


The Urn

Bob Lawson tossed five ones and a twenty onto the unmade bed of his extended-stay hotel room. He undressed and dropped the clothing into a pile.

“Cheap bastard.” He shook fish food into a bowl. Hiram, his pet goldfish, nibbled at the flakes as they drifted toward the opaque marbles on the bottom. “Sure wasn’t worth all the trouble I went to breaking into that smelly, old mausoleum.” He had thought the urn would fetch him a few hundred bucks, but the clerk at the pawn shop claimed it was nothing special.

He lay his head on the pillow. Light from the street shined through the window, illuminating Hiram’s bowl.

Hiram the Goldfish


“So I’ve been reduced to robbing graves in church cemeteries. Beats getting a job I guess.” He closed his eyes and saw the black interior of the mausoleum. Anybody with a grave that size must have had some money, was what he had thought at the time. “Twenty-five bucks,” he muttered as he drifted off to sleep.

The red LED lights of the bedside clock hurt his eyes, but he could still make out that it was a little after 2:00 am. The mausoleum continued to haunt his memory. He had broken the lock with a crowbar and entered. Nine crypts stood end to end around the perimeter of the room. A tenth was positioned in the center on which the urn stood. Bob had simply grabbed the urn, looked inside, dumped the ashes on the floor and ran out. He hadn’t been inside for more than a minute.

He glanced at Hiram’s bowl. Tiny lights swam around like fluorescent guppies. “What the hell.” Bob rolled off the bed and walked toward the fishbowl. Hiram was floating on his side, slowly turning with the current created by the swimming lights.


Bob stumbled backward. His feet got tangled in the discarded clothing, and he landed on his back. One of the tiny lights rose out of the water with the fish following it into the air above the bowl. Bob grabbed his clothes, climbed to his feet, and headed for the door. Hiram’s wet, limp body struck him on the forehead and fell to the worn carpet.

A single light drifted toward him. Human features formed within the glow. Nose to nose it pondered flesh and blood it had once known. The other lights joined the specter but retained their miniature form. Male and female spoke in an airy vocalization.

“Where is it?”

Bob backed away from the congregation of souls that pressed in on him.


The lights circled the room in single file, then scattered. Clothing flew from the closet along with storage boxes and shoes. Blankets landed in a heap on the floor. Dresser drawers dumped their contents into piles and smashed themselves against the walls.

Bob curled into a fetal position on the floor and looked up to the one who had taken form.

“What do you want from me?”

Silence struck as suddenly as the storm had begun.

“The Urn,” they sang, in chorus.

“I don’t have it. It’s at the pawn shop.”

“Take us there," said the visible spirit.

“The pawn shop is closed. It’s the middle of the night."

“You had no trouble entering our mausoleum in darkness. Go now. We will follow.”

Bob drove in the direction of the pawn shop. He mashed the accelerator down hard and sped forward.

The spirit took form again outside his window and pressed its face through the glass. “You truly are a fool."

Bob parked a couple of blocks from the pawn shop and walked the rest of the way down a dark alley with tiny lights floating about his head. Along the way, he picked up a stone. “What about the alarm?” he said. “The police will come.”

“Do you fear the authorities more than the dead?”


Bob smashed the glass in the rear door and reached inside to turn the deadbolt. The spirit lights shot through like an arrow ahead of him and found the urn within seconds. Bob was already back in his car before the sirens could be heard in the distance.

He drove into the cemetery with his headlights off and parked in front of the mausoleum. Inside, he set the urn back in its place. The discarded ashes spiraled upward from the floor, circled Bob’s head, then settled into the urn.

Atop the crypt on which the urn stood, the shadowy figure of a woman took shape.


“Those are my ashes,” she said. “I am also the matriarch of these spirits you have offended, and I sentence you to a most horrifying death.”

Spirit lights surrounded him, driving him from the mausoleum away from his car. He ran through the darkness, tripped over potted flowers, collided with monuments and headstones, herded by the spirits into a dark corner of the cemetery.

The ground vanished from beneath his feet. He hit the side of an unearthed grave first and landed in an open pine box at the bottom. Bob stared into empty eye sockets. Dessicated gray skin cracked with the forming of a smile.

“I promised you a most horrifying death,” said the spirit mother. The lights hovering around her head became a swarm of flying beetles which dived like a javelin into the coffin. The lid slammed shut.

The corpse laughed.

Bob screamed.

The spirit at the edge of the grave pronounced the final judgment. “Flesh Eaters.”


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      Shyron E Shenko, Thanks for reading. I appreciate you stopping by, and I'm very happy you enjoyed it.

    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      Audrey, I'll keep your secret. horror stories are such dirty business. Thanks for reading.

    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      John, well, creepy and suspenseful is what I was going for and apparently I got pretty close. The first draft read like a comedy, so I had to start over. Thanks for reading it and commenting. I always appreciate that time you take to read my stories.

    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      Faith, I'm pleased that you like the story. The one you unpublished, maybe you'd be happy after a rewrite. I've done that to many of my poorer ones and come up with some decent stories.

    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      Wingedcentaur, thanks for the feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. The photo was annart's as a prompt for the challenge.

    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      Deb, glad you enjoyed the story.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      6 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      This is superb. I was diverted from start to finish, and the finale is so well-deserved. Even though the spirits are not good, I am definitely on their side, as the protagonist brought this upon himself.

    • wingedcentaur profile image

      William Thomas 

      6 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      Well done, cam8510! You were able to make a relatively big story out of a tiny premise---less than that, a mere image. Some kind of photographic mistake?

      You managed to package big horror into the small landscape of a small-time thief, doing small-time thievery, living in a small single rooms. The ending was elegant.

      The witch's final judgment: "Flesh eaters." I like that.

      Take it easy. :)

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      6 years ago from southern USA

      Yikes, never mess with the dead! Creepy flash fiction, Chris. That was certainly a horrible death to say the least. Excellent response to Ann's challenge. I loved your interpretation of her photo prompt. I used that same photo of the woman in one of my hubs that I have unpublished since because I did not feel it was one of my best, although others seemed to like it. We are our own worst critics for sure.

      You are a wonderful flash fiction writer.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      6 years ago from Gondwana Land

      This was creepy and suspenseful Chris. Love it. Great response to Ann's challenge.Voted up.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      My dirty little secret is that I love horror fiction--this just tickled that part of me--loved it!

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 

      6 years ago from Texas

      Chris this was amazing and I voted that way. What a twist on this tale of intrigue.

      Voted up, UABI and shared

      Have a blessed day.

    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      Randy, Thanks for commenting. This one took a couple of tries to get right. But I like the way it is now. Ann's photo looks like a human who is looking to the left. have a good hump day tomorrow.

    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      Jo, Thanks for the comment on my story. I do wish you had time to respond to Ann's challenge too. Nice to see you here

    • Randy Horizon profile image

      Randy Horizon 

      6 years ago from Philadelphia

      Great story Chris. I love surprise endings too. I also thought the story line picture looked like a surreal face.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 

      6 years ago from Lincolnshire, U.K

      A thoroughly enjoyable read with a scary message. "Never mess with the dead." I wasn't aware of this challenge by Ann, but it's probably just as well, since I find this types of challenged really hard to resist and I'm busy chasing my tail at the moment. Great idea, brilliant response.

    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      Bill, feel free to put comments like this in all my hubs twice. Thanks much.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      6 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Chris, there are strange happenings on HP because I know damned well I commented on this. Now I can't remember what I said. LOL Something like a challenge from one of my favorite people accepted by one of my favorite story-tellers. Yep, that was it, I think. :)

    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      Venkatachari M, Thanks for your thoughts on the story. I'm glad it was a satisfying read. The photo prompt that Ann provided is very unique and could be interpreted in many different ways.

    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      Eric, are you talking about me or the story? Thanks for reading. I appreciate it :)

    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      Shauna, I appreciate your thoughts on this story and on my writing. I do wish I had twisted the ending a little more, but I'm happy with the story. Thanks for reading.

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 

      6 years ago from Hyderabad, India

      Very interesting story and at the same time full of suspense and thrill. A good response to Annart's challenge.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      6 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.


    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      6 years ago from Central Florida

      You're a master of flash fiction, Chris. The lights of souls was eerie to say the least. Then, being trapped in a coffin staring into the eyes of the dead was just downright creepy. Poor Hiram. Why did he have to die for his master's sins?

    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      Frank, ever since I posted this , I've been kicking myself for burying Bob alive. Not because he didn't deserve it, but because it was so predictable. Feel free to take a shot at writing a new ending. I might write an alternate ending myself.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      6 years ago from Shelton

      buried alive.. poor Bob, don't want to work, but stealing has it's bad side too... Predictable, but very well written my friend.. it falls into the creep show category my friend

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 

      6 years ago from New York

      Oh I loved this spooky story Chris. It's right up my alley as anyone who knows me can tell you. You built this story beautifully to its righteous end!

      I loved the spirits looking for the urn, a perfect fit though I was sorry to see the goldfish bite the dust. You gave more than done justice to this photo.

      Voted all but funny. Shared too.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 

      6 years ago from SW England

      Thanks for letting me know what you see! Interesting.

      Glad you enjoyed the challenge. I like things that stretch us and I thought this might inspire different images. The fundamental thing rests with the lights I think, around or part of the image. I'm still trying to figure out exactly where I took it!

    • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Mills 

      6 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      Ann, Thanks for the helpful comments. When I looked at the image you supplied, I saw a couple of things. The lights are what I focused on, but I also see the profile of a person, shaped by the lights. It is facing left. I wasn't sure how to use it in a story though. Thanks for the challenge. I enjoyed writing the story.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 

      6 years ago from SW England

      Poor fish!

      You created and sustained the suspense. I liked the contrast between the down-to-earth, basic human and the mystery around the urn.

      His demise was so spooky without being 'corny', a difficult thing to do.

      The points of light worked well for you! Did you just see them or the image I see? (I don't want to say what I see, yet.)

      They did say that evil would befall those who disturbed the Egyptian tombs, didn't they? This reminded me of that.

      Superb response to my challenge. Thanks for taking part, Chris.



    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)