ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Voices In My Head Flutter by like a Butterfly

Updated on December 24, 2015

What Butterfly Effect?

To the voices in my head, an epic dream meme:

There is a voice inside my head, along with all the many others;
But, unlike the rest, it's a voice I've never heard actually uttered.
This voice speaks many languages, and even some that aren't;
Hey, sometimes words aren't what 'e says, most oft as what they are!
But, even so, it seems to me; it's one I always "knew";
The one that always makes it right; that lets me see the truth;)

Now, this voice can, sometimes, seem to chill me to the bone?
Literally, even, at odd times, oft while just looking at my phone.
Because strange things keep on happening; the demons're on the prowl:
If you catch my drift, that is;) - not all double 0's are owls 8)
I often pause in thought to ponder; what if I am the only?
Or is that simply nostalgic wonder, that can leave one very lonely...?

What if nobody was there to say; don't forget, you're not alone;
Would my thoughts just go off spiraling, to wound me to the bone?
For I doubt I'd cope that well; hey, I doubt I would at all;
If there were no angels there to tell,how to get through this bloodied wall!
See, I've always had best mates like that, who'd just call me out the blue;
Folk who would, then, of course, always know just what to do?

Which is kind of why I'm glad, that though they are not here;
My angels keep my head in check, by always yelling in my ear.
At least that is how it seems, is what I'm trying to say;
Though, in truth, all I mean; is that good advice can pay.
That's all it is, you see, this magic trick I've come to know,
I just imagine what they'd say to me, and then on that I go.

Now; what was I even saying? Where were we in this chat?
Oh yeah, I was speaking of THE voice (the one that owns no hat).
Ok, now, this voice can send me soaring, while lucidly I dream,
Or see me blend into plain sight, to see what "must" be seen?
It can see me fly into a rage, like the day I bashed The Hand;
Though all it said on that fine day, was "Would seeing Deb be so bad?"

But, let me be quite clear, lest I again be misconstrued;
It's not the only voice I hear, just the one that don't confuse.
See, the other voices in with mine, are, in fact, not my own;
I have a tendency, you see; a need to speak with all I've known!
Which can't always be face to face, though there is both skype and chat;
But there're also lucid places, where we can go to chew the chaff.

You see, the loudest voices in my frond, tell me to go and dream;
So, lucidly, in lah lah land, is where I greet the team;
"It's there we get 2screams!", is what ol' Jack'd say,
So let's not forget Mel's Memes, when we go off to play!
Because these voices in my head, are both quite real and not,
And though they make me look quite crazy, the truth's a bigger plot!

See, when pots like mine are cracked, though our brains be deep and wired;
We lose more stuff than Jack had gleaned before retirement.
My head's full o' manifestations! Time travelers I've known?
"Fantastic" imagined ideations, and/or glimpses, I had hoped be shown?
So while I probably sound quite stupid, and look more than slightly nuts;
I'm not really crazy, just a lucid with no ifs or butts!

Oh, yeah, and ba ha, true; but, who, my dear, would care?
There are benefits you see, to being an angel in my head!
You see, while it is quite true, that, be they living or long past;
My angels gather in the shadows, and they're eager to the last.
They gather for our future hopes, in which exist no fears;
Violence free from coast to coast; as we've already payed in tears.

Perverts will be locked away, and that is where they'll from then stay.
Pedo's prides? Get in the way? Nope, the time has come for them to pay!
So, from popes who believe in aliens, to the covert cleaner, see;
(Who, by the way, and before you say, will be a guy named LadyG,
We'll be nice humalien angels; and Warriors of the Light;
Who'll always seek true angles, and fight for what is right.

These shall peace keepers be; indeed pure of heart, and mind, too;
And such courage and compassion can see, what big mind-hearts can do.
When a heart is big enough, regardless of where it's been,
Even when things start getting tough, real love can still be seen.
For such a heart not to, surely, it must have never been allowed to cry;
And for such to start so early, I'm oft left with the question; why?

Which is why I taught my kids, not to follow blindly, see;
On a bus to phukadidabuddy, they'd be like "Oh My Gee!"
So I taught them to question everything, and take no word as true;
And to never give up on learning more, than they already thought they knew.
Because human brains are plastic, which can be a real cool trick.
And then there's always the fact, that both my kids are pretty quick ;)

Now, as demons in the dark doth crowd, I ask the angels at my back;
I'm starting to get desperate, guys, please help 'fore they attack!
Your advice has ever been quite sound; has always steered me true;
And has often brought me back to ground, after telling all ye knew!
In our kids, wherein live my hopes, may such wisdom hold sure:
Thus, when old and needing dope, they will be there with the cure!

So, fear not, my dears; though we've all been to hell and back,
We've made it through the years, because we've had each others backs!
See, I know exactly just "how much" friends like mine are worth;
I've been surrounded by such angels, see, since first birthed on earth,
Which has happened quite a few times now, as is slowly being revealed,
One by one it's coming out, old truth sure had been sealed.

Which is also how I know, as is now often being found,
That these kin of whom I speak, are often world renowned!?
Because, from the smallest to the biggest, of my angelic cuz's,
They're all people like myself; folk with brains who sometimes cusses.
See, they're all star seeds like my self, all on missions for a cause.
And I'd not be that surprised, if most could whisper up a horse!

So, you can think that I'm just crazy, if that is really what you want,
But the fact is I'm not that or lazy, and could just be a savant?
And even though it's all "so out there", there's one thing that be true;
It's only really 'cause I care, like all my angels do!
So, please listen up when we speak, and don't get left behind,
Because these days be peaks, of mountains built with time.

So if I stand upon my mountain, and send my true Light forth,
Even though he's not upon my list, Mike'll hear me to the North;)
Just like his son, you see, who's ALWAYS in my head,
Even though he's often grumpy, or lately, plain half dead!
It's only because, like me, those angels and all my others,
Comprise a little band, you see, of soul sisters and brothers!

And, because, indeed we are, I thank God that it's true?
What family has not had to suffer, right through my big "dear Ruth"!
And guys, while I am really very sorry, for leaning so damn hard,
And drawing from you so very often, almost with disregard.
Which was never my intention, and so I am left with zilch to say,
It was almost like I was being driven to behave in such a way.

Funnily, they know not half of it, and if did would be relieved,
Just a few extra, hey Shepherd? Lol, Shanks could help 'em see.
He'd say to give an example, to show all what I mean,
(I have a treasure trove of writing, stuff never sent nor seen;
It all remained deep in hiding, and no, none of it is mean):
Just random thoughts I had fun typing, but sent to none to see:

Hey Danny boy, how are ya, mate?
Sorry to contact you this Goddamn late.
I was wondering, you see, what you think of my suggestion?
About my floating sovereign island, that is my big question?
Lol I knew you'd get it, dude, so then when is it that we start?
This perfect plan of mine, to end world violence with art!

So, as our first act, on 'half all 'our floating Corporation,
Shall we declare our sovereign boat named Rautenbach's Oregon Nation?
Because, you see, that way, it's one more step to real,
To get there much more quickly, we need to infect the field!
The quantum field, dude, where we manifest our dreams,
By creating mental memes you see, to manifest in reality...

Oh wait, hey, did I mention; the red bull has gone white?
Oh, sorry. Well, heads up, son; It got into a rain fight.
You crack me up, dude seriously; Duct Tape Girl risked her life!
For that Chinese bull, risked head and limb, and literally almost died!
To save my mate's favorite bull, I almost lost my very hide!
I was almost decapitated by a flying shed gone wild.

Like Dot's house on the Wizard of Oz, but slightly smaller, see;
It would have flown away, in fact, if not wedged between some trees:)
[Two weeks later]
Hey, buddy boy, guess who it is? Yep, it sure is your dudette;)
Good, great, best and better, thanks, and how goes your quartet?
That's great to hear? Though you should know, I'm not all that surprised;
'cause at the moment, you all, my dear, are as one in God's eyes!

And what's more, I do never fear, when dreaming of our fates;
See, the only time you are in my brain, if at all, in fact, of late;
Is when I need a psychic hug or something that can't bide,
Or when I think about your soulmate, and the space ship of your pride.
So I thought I 'd say g'day, Dude Dan, How goes the kid, wife, mum 'n dad?
And why it's so fantastic; why you made me so very glad.

Hey listen, I have to go, but I'll type again real soon.
Life is really getting hectic and we've got heaps of work to do.
[3 days later]
Are you there, Dan, sure hope you are, we really have to talk!
If only we could be chatting while going for a walk.
Bahaha, grumpy, much? I know, young man, I am a loyal fan?
But please I beg, just one last time, read this quick, please, man?

You see, if you do, you may just find; you get a bigger kick,
At least than those I've seen in kind, when red bull did you drink;
No, you haven't heard all this before, so listen to what I say;
Or "you're my best mate ever more", is the song I'll have to play:
See what you have not stopped to think; while we cause each other stress,
It was stressing each other completely out, that made me love you best!

So humor me just like before, about at least a thousand times,
Whenever we've talked all night til dawn, about our hopes and crimes.
For this is just a little facebook poke, to let you know I care,
Even when not in my dreams, I never forget you're there!
And that the reason for such absences, never leave me feeling blue,
In fact it kind of binds us, and wraps me 'round Bec's finger, too.

Yes, I'm speaking of your Goddess, and yes that is what I meant,
See, when you've not been online, your goddess was instead.
And she is another just like you, who can often blow my mind,
Or with just a simple word or two, can make sunlight start to shine.
And as I know and love you dearly, and you're always in my head,
I know you'll be grinning, if you but read what I've said.

How do I know? One reason, and it's a simple one at that,
You taught me that to love you, I need to love you back.
So here's from me to you, and to that goddess of yours,
And itty biddy Moya, and the other space ship, of course,
Because it's coming back around, and we need to get set up,
Before a big whack comes and leaves earth dark with dust.

We need a plan to save whatever makes this planet best;
And by planning for it now, we may yet pass God's test.
Because that it comes is one thing that surely cannot be denied?
It's hardly the first time that we know 'most all on earth has died!
Don't roll your eyes at me? Reading this should drop your jaw,
You may even be required to scrape your mind up off the floor.

Did you notice the weird surge days? Been happening for a while.
Though most just cannot see it, and will likely end up in De Nile!
No, in a boat without a paddle, nothing sinister or dark.
Now catch up, Dan, please, quickly; we need to build an ark.
If you haven't heard the news, I'm far from the only one;
Due to universal laws, things keep returning to square one.

And as it's universal laws, what keeps thing goings 'round,
It was actually fairly easy, to figure out what will go down.
I call it the Big Whack Theory! Oh? You like the sound of that?
Yep! Just like any living cycle, things will always "be back!"
And as any fool can see, thanks to the world wide web,
This system's had way more than one Big Whack Event.

No, actually, I did not go looking for our doom and gloom.
I was but laying in my bed, on the night of a blue moon;
When angels came to visit me, all night they were in my brain,
And in the morn I woke, and could see plain the truth in day.
Which is how it went down before, and will in times ahead;
It seems that gravitational surges, can help us see the dead.

No, the dreams seem very different, to the voices of the day.
The voices in my mind, say what I wish they'd say.
Where as the angels in my dreams, are more than simply voices,
Or imagined facial expressions, that help me weigh my choices.
See, the spirits dancing in my mind, when I am long in bed,
Are beings I can see and touch, some living and some dead.

But never the less they visit me, and in clear and vivid dreamland,
We factor in our thoughts and dreams and formulate our plans.
And then there is to consider, the very nature of such an inception?
With dream reality factor, meaning even fewer missed connections,
We were able to really make use of a certain optimist's theory.
And the plans of such possibilities, could in fact be a reality.

Because of the nature of such inceptions, we're not limited by fact.
Nor by time, or legal restraints, and by no annoying grunt act.
See that's the beauty of lucid dreaming, once you can remember what to do,
If the nightmares come a calling, just tell them to boot it, soon!
And then get on with doing whatever you don't have time to do in day,
Whether that be saving the whole planet, or fooling around with clay.

Because it's just like "Window of opportunity" on Stargate SG1
One fail proof way to test things, and to get things cheaply done,
Is to do things knowing all will soon return to how it was,
And you won't get sacked, if you accidentally hurt a horse!
Because in lucid land you are only restricted by your own mind, you see,
Which means there are no limitations, to what you can try to achieve.

And it sure is weird how, when I do dream these fun adventures,
I sometimes have MacGyver come to teach me new inventions.
And he's not the only guy, who's played by RDA,
Even Jack is there quite often, though he never has a lot to say,
In fact he can be annoying; no, not to me, to Daniel Jackson,
Who's almost always there, whenever Michael Shanks is.

In fact, some of the dreams I have, feel like being inside that episode,
Like it never really ended, leaving my dreams stuck in time loop mode,
Which never the less makes me laugh, and cracks Harry right up, too,
Yep, Harry's there with my old man; that's when there's no fishing to do.
Which is another reason I have come to believe in life after death, too.
Combine that with my dog (a soul I knew before), believe reincarnation's true!

I love catching up with family and friends, by playing in my dreams
And one weird thing I have come to notice; I'm not the only one it seems,
Many living angels, others in my soul group, wake up just as tired as me.
And tell me stuff that lets me know, it was really them indeed.
Even more uncanny to me, is that the reasons that I even ask,
Are usually, that morning, I'd woken feeling that I had a task?

It's like my very own Hogwarts, though it only is in dreams,
And the teacher's there are more prolific than the voices that are memes.
See, the angels in my dreams, are well versed in the matrix,
So they come and go at will, ensuring a right ol' nutty mix.
They're all genii gone nuts, I think, there is no other explanation,
At least that is what what I'll say, if ever under investigation.

I always thought my dreams were just another way of coping?
A little piece of heaven, see, 'never I'd started moping,
At times like that, consistently, I've felt so alone and needy;
Quite often but one train of thought, lays waste my sanity.
Yet ironically, at those times, this other voice I hear,
Though be it can loud and scary, I still never seem to fear.

Sometimes, it's just old Harry Morgan; the old guy off M.A.S.H.
He oft plays God in my dreams, and he can really trim the trash.
Sometimes it's not such an obvious actor, other times it's most confusing;
Like when Morgan Freeman plays Mandela, which both seem to find amusing.
Or when it's Jack O'Neill telling Adam Sandlar how to fix his shoes,
While Lady Diana Spencer tells my grandmother off for being rude.

And at times like that is when things get weird and I start going nuts,
Sometimes the things I really need are not "ifs, and/sor buts"
But confirmation, hope and courage, and if all else fails, some hugs.
The beauty of which is hugs are free, if only too, were drugs.
I know the voices well enough to know what they would say,
Free hugs and buds work best, to keep the nuttiness at bay!

Best is when I do all that, I have one less major worry;
I don't have to lie awake wondering if I'll soon be sorry.
Because, despite what you all think, I'm in fact not that dumb,
And though I did not agree completely, I knew the time had come,
For me to stop re-telling all the crazy things that happened way back when!
My life is more complex than most can fathom in their heads.

And so I had given up, dead tired, and off I went to bed,
And making that decision, did something to my head!
Because that night I dreamed, like I never had before,
And then lucidly I woke myself, to scrape my own brain off the floor!
It was almost like the Big Kahuna knew exactly who would stand,
To appeal to my inner logic, or make me putty in their hand.

Gee, who does that remind me of? I can think of twenty three straight up!
Voices that always seem to sense, just when I need more nuts!
Who be these twenty three you ask? Well, if truth be known,
Other than the most profound, which is not my own voice, no.
I don't think I could separate the other nuts from one another.
Which is why I'm going to leave it here with "Thanks, sisters and brothers!"
In the name of the Father and the Son, and Their awesome friend called Mary,
This epic poem is finally over, and I end it with Amen.
[The End.]
[P.S. Just one more thing, God bless all you my dudes, and see you in my dreams tonight. We have some work to do. xox ]

Rising Frequency
Rising Frequency

So, as I was saying:

LiKe I said: I think it is time for the men and women of this world to wake up to the knowledge that is inherent within, because this planet is in a sad state of affairs, and my crown of crosses is a pretty heavy burden to bare.

Thus it is that I would lessen my burden as a lesson to others, even if only to ease my own guilt, but before you judge me, perhaps you should watch this and other starseed videos:

Me - Way back when...
Me - Way back when...

To my friends and family in Africa/from Africa

I miss you all so much and wish I could know and spend time with you all now that I am finally starting to grow up. Not that I did not appreciate you all before, but I find it ironic that I seem more homesick for decent people now than I ever have?

Before, people were just people; I could never discern true intent, I could never figure out who actually got me and who did not, I could never figure out who was good for me and who was not, I could never figure out who really cared and who did not, and often mistook the wrong kind of attention for the right kind.

Everything always seemed a blur to me. It is only now that I am really starting to see and realize exactly who made me who I am, and who tried to break me, and now that I can see all that, I miss you more than I ever did when I first left, and trust me when I say that it was an awful lot back then, which should give you an inkling to just how much I miss you all now.

I would love to sit with you and chew the chaff and pick your brains. I have an awful lot of work to do if I am to fulfill my life's purpose, and I also know where most of the information I need can be found, NOW.

I wish I had not come all this way and taken all these years to figure all that out, although I know that God is not sorry, nor is my higher self, as that is what I chose to do, not what was chosen for me to do, so I will just trust in God to get me to where I need to be to be able to do what ever it is I said I would do, and if I do that, I have a funny feeling I will get back to Africa to do all that real soon.

I have finally awoken to my true purpose. And the en-slavers of this world should know that their time is coming to an end. Too long has this world been separated from the collective. Too long have the souls bound to this planet been denied access to their own Hall of Records.

This injustice is causing an imbalance in the natural state of universal laws, and thus in the balance of what would otherwise be a self correcting and naturally occurring realignment, and the conspired isolation that has had the collective souls of this system trapped in ground hog day cannot be allowed to continue to do so. It is time for us all to wake up and see the truth. Amen.

On a final note:

P.S> Oh, and congratulations are in order, a god and goddess just gave birth to second spaceship, and Adam and Eve have decided to get the hell over the snake and just get married anyway, though whether we shall have a boy or girl child as our third remains to be seen. I'm kinda hoping it shall just be a brainchild video that changes/saves the world, as I feel nauseated just at the thought of being pregnant, again, though I should point out that I am happy to face my responsibilities, and if I receive word from Harry that it is to be so, well, I guess I shall have to cross that bridge of nausea to get to the right side of heaven, as I am soooooo over living in hell


Submit a Comment

No comments yet.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)