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The Woman on the Mountaintop (a Writing Challenge by Bill Holland)

Updated on January 8, 2017
Jodah profile image

John has many years writing experience including a Writing School course "Writing for Profit." He has written text for children's books etc.

The woman on the mountaintop Source: photo by Bill Holland
The woman on the mountaintop Source: photo by Bill Holland | Source

The Challenge

Bill Holland(aka. billybuc) recently issued the following challenge in his hub "A Writing Challenge: The Woman on the Mountaintop":

"The photo you see is one I took several years back of my wife, Bev, standing on top of Pinnacle Peak in the Cascade Mountains. It is one of my favorite pictures of Bev because it perfectly captures her spirit and love of nature. I invite you to take part in the challenge and see what wondrous story or poem you can create based on this picture."

This hub is my response :)

The mountain seemed to sit apart from the Earth itself

Source

The Woman on the Mountaintop

Brenda smiled as she gazed across the deep valley. It reminded her of a plunging cleavage separating two great breasts of some reclining giantess. Above and beyond where she stood beckoned a magnificent snow capped peak looking like a custard covered Christmas pudding surrounded by a sea of frothy whipped cream. The mountain seemed to sit apart from the Earth itself. She imagined that's how Heaven looked, floating on God's special clouds.

Stretching her arms above her head Brenda made her body as straight and tall as she could. She breathed deeply of the fresh clean mountain air free from smog and traffic and industrial fumes.

The Cascade Mountains, and Pinnacle Peak in particular, was her special place. The beautiful mountain she stood on was covered in a carpet of green and the Viagra coloured sky stretched out as far as the eye could see. She grinned again at the surprising metaphors her subconscious mind came up with.

all Brenda had to do was close her eyes and imagine her special mountaintop haven

When she returned home to her normal city life with its everyday stresses and frustrations, all Brenda had to do was close her eyes and imagine her special mountaintop haven. Then all her cares and troubles just evaporated. Not that she was a worrier.. far from it.

Her husband "Dutch" always said that Brenda was one of the most care-free and optimistic people he had ever known. It was what he loved most about her. He admitted thanking God every day that she saw something in him that appealed to her. They say opposites attract, like chalk and cheese. Maybe they complimented each other, the yin and yang so to speak, or so many other corny overused cliches.

It wasn't like they were made for each other and shared everything in common. They had both been married before and had their own children and had lived very different lives. In fact they possessed two very different personalities but were truly in love and made the effort to show an interest and join in each other's favourite activities.

His special name for her was "The Woman on the Mountaintop"

The environment and nature were very important in both their lives. Even at home in town they strived to live as self-sustainably as possible, growing their own vegetables and raising poultry for food, and recycling as much as they could. Another activity that Brenda and Dutch both truly enjoyed was hiking. They tried to spend every other available weekend trekking in the mountains or National Parks.

No matter how many times they hiked up the same mountain to the Pinnacle Peak summit there were new sights to see, creatures to encounter, strangers to befriend. Besides who could ever tire of the amazing views?

A few years back Dutch had taken a photo of Brenda standing on this exact same mountain peak and doing exactly as she was now. His special name for her was "The Woman on the Mountaintop", and she loved it.


Source

The Woman on the Mountaintop (a poem)

The woman on the mountaintop

Surveys her distant realm.

The only crown upon her head,

A sprig of mountain flowers.

She stretches arms above her head

And wishes they were wings,

So she could spread them like a hawk

And soar from peak to peak.

© 2014 John Hansen

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    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Good to see you commenting on another of my hubs Linda. Yes Bill's challenges are always fun and encourage interesting responses. Glad you liked the "viagra coloured sky" and the poem too. Thanks for the vote up.

    • liesl5858 profile image

      Linda Bryen 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Another well written hub Jodah, I love reading your hubs. Especially your responses to Bill's challenges. I love the Viagra Sky and your lovely poem at the end. It is like the icing on your challenge. Voted up.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      I appreciate you're reading this Kevin. Glad you enjoyed the experience of freedom. Thanks for the vote up.

    • The Examiner-1 profile image

      The Examiner-1 2 years ago

      I really liked that John. It was both amazing and fascinating. At a couple of of parts I even felt as if I was flying like a bird. I voted up+++, shared, pinned and tweeted it.

      Kevin

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you Manatita for visiting this hub and for your kind comment. Paulo Coelho is a great inspiration to me. The Alchemist is one of my favourite books.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 2 years ago from london

      Well Judah,

      The poem is exquisite and the hawk reminds me of the freedom of the Soul in flight. Excellent Hub with a great story of Brenda and Dutch. I like birds and Coelho is admirable. Great effort and a wonderful contribution to Billy's Challenge. Much Mehta

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you as always Jackie, glad you enjoyed my contribution.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you Nell. I agree these challenges are great, especially at bringing the community together.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Very good and your poem a perfect cap. ^+

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Jodah, what a beautiful story and poem, loved the metaphors too, I am really enjoying these challenges, nell

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you Audrey. Always great to get your comment.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Beautiful write John!

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you for your knd comment Harish. Yes we all envy the birds don't we..it must be wnderful to have the freedom of flight. Glad you found the story believable and the poem lovely. Thanks for the vote up too.

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 2 years ago from India

      " So she could spread them like a hawk, And soar from peak to peak". Isn't this feeling common in all of us ? Birds flying in the sky is something we all envy in one way or the other. John, this tiny poem about mountain woman is very lovely. I also loved reading the beautiful story of Brenda and Dutch. I love your beautiful narration that instills life in the characters and the events, making the story as if it had actually happened. A fantastic twin-one response ! Voted up.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      My pleasure Suzette, thank you for reading and commenting.

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 2 years ago from Taos, NM

      Beautiful response, John. I think you catch the essence of Bill and Bev. I also enjoyed the poem. Thanks for sharing this with us.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you btrbell, that was a wonderful comment. Much appreciated.

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 2 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Great job! Loved it! It was lighthearted and playful, while still being intensely emotional! Thank you!

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      So glad you enjoyed my take on the photo Faith. It was an interesting challenge and I enjoyed writing it. Hope your hubby recovers quickly. That's the second person I have heard of having a detached retina in the last two days. Thanks for the vote up, pin and share too. God bless.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      What a wonderfully creative response to Bill's challenge! I am catching up reading. My hubby had emergency eye surgery yesterday due to a detached retina, so I am behind on all the great responses to all of the challenges. I am amazed had how very creative and unique each one's approach is to each challenge.

      Loved your descriptive love story here and, especially, your poetry is always superb. It floats along like a cloud.

      We can't ever beat God's views!

      Voted up ++++ tweeting, pinning, G+ and sharing

      Blessings

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks Jo, Bill said this was an opportunity to try out your to experiment with your own similes/metaphors so I thought I' give it a go. Thanks for your kind comment and the vote up.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 2 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      John, I was convinced that I'd read and commented on your response to Bill's challenge already. I almost missed this treat. Loved it, simply inspired. Bill wanted unique similes/metaphors and my word, You've certainly provided them. Well done. Up all the way.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Haha Sunshine, glad the imagery worked for you. Thanks for reading.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 2 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Wow...makes me want to go climb atop a mountain just so I could see what this woman does! :)

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Why thank you lamb servant. Viagra is something that is so common and widely used now as a product, I just thought it may as well be used descriptively in writing as well.. :)

      Thanks for reading and your kind comment.

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 2 years ago from Pacific Northwest

      Well done John. "Viagra colored sky" is probably the most unique way of using the word viagra, and the most unique way of describing the sky.

      Dutch was a lucky man.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      I felt compelled to walk that "fine line" here Irc7815...and make it a little risque..haha. Bill said not to use the usual tired cliches so I tried to make up new ones. Glad you enjoyed and thanks for voting up and linking to your own great story.

    • lrc7815 profile image

      Linda Crist 2 years ago from Central Virginia

      Good golly, "cleavage". "Viagra colored sky", ...what's a good love story without a little heat? lol Great response to Bill's challenge and the poem was the icing on that dish of pudding. This was infused with so many elements of emotion that I just couldn't stop reading. I'm adding a link to my own response to the challenge. Voted up, awesome, and beautifuol.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Haha, thanks Kim. Glad to know my hubs have educational content. I much appreciate your kind comment and vote up. Blessings.

    • ocfireflies profile image

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      First, of all, I learned something I did not know: viagra is blue. Smiles.

      Secondly, a fun response to the challenge and a beautiful poem to boot.

      Nice work. V+/S for sure.

      Blessings,

      Kim

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Haha thanks Will, got to take a risk sometimes. It seems to have been popular, maybe it will become a famous cliché.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 2 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Viagra colored sky? Boy, I wouldn't touch that one with a six inch pole! Well done, John!

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you Cam. That positive and encouraging comment means a lot coming from a wonderful writer like yourself. I did put more effort into my descriptions because of Bill's challenge.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      John, your descriptive wording hopped up a notch in this one. From cleavage to viagra colored sky and on to custard covered Christmas pudding. Excellent job. And the outstanding poem capped it all off.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey Bill, I greatly appreciate your positive response. It is great getting praise for your work from one's fellow hubbers but having that confirmed by the person who issued the challenge is the greatest compliment. Glad you liked the "viagra coloured sky" :)

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      Thanks for the info on 'callout', John. I'll have a good look at that.

      Ann

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are so good! I smiled all the way through this, John. "Viagra coloured sky".....what a great line....a great line. Thank you for taking part in this. I've been looking forward to your response and you didn't let me down.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks for all those kind words Ruby. As you say, I don't really know Bev.. only through Bill's writing, but I hope I did her justice and captured a little of what she may be like. Glad you saw those things too, and liked the poem. I appreciate the vote up, share and tweet too.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Yes exactly word, God first, then your woman and family. I think Bill and Bev are an amazing couple and I hope this did them, especially Bev justice. I will always be a John Denver fan too.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      I am glad you enjoyed this Shauna. By all means check out the others..there are some great stories and poems among them.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you for your kind comments Mary. i thought the viagra coloured sky was a bit of a humorous touch. Glad it didn't go unnoticed. :)Thanks for the vote up and link too.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks for the "awesome" vote Frank. I can't ask for much more than that. :)

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks for your generous comment Anne. In the content capsules we now have a new one called "Callout". This is what you select to get the coloured quote backgrounds. You get three choices 'colorbox', "classic' and 'quote'. It is one of the good things that came across from Squidoo.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Withour really knowing Bev, I think you've got her pegged perfectly. Her love of the mountain and growing her own veggies and loving her husband, although they are different. The viagra metaphor was brilliant and after looking deeply at the picture I saw the cleavage and pudding with whipped cream. Voted up and away! Shared on Twitter...Oh I forgot to say, " I love the poem. "

    • word55 profile image

      Word 2 years ago from Chicago

      Simply beautiful of Billybuc, What a way to consider and worship your woman. Every woman should be worshiped by her man especially. Women who do for their children, family, friends, church family and co-workers should be also, as long as it is remembered that All Mighty God should be worshipped above all. Will always love that John Denver song too. Thanks Jodah

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      I love this! It's amusing, beautiful and wonderfully illustrated. So well put together; extremely professional.

      How do you get the coloured backgrounds to such things as quotes or snippets or your story? I've tried to work that out but haven't succeeded. I know my hubs lack that sort of expertise and I'd love to make them look more professional. This one is so good.

      Great response to Bill's challenge and your poetry always excels.

      Ann

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      Shauna L Bowling 2 years ago from Central Florida

      Beautiful story, John. Thanx for including links to the others who accepted Bill's challenge. I haven't yet read them all.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 2 years ago from New York

      Metaphorically speaking this sounds a lot like Bev and Bill. What a wonderful, fun read especially with your viagra sky! I think that's the one that will certainly stand out in this great work!

      Voted up, awesome, beautiful and added to my hub.

    • profile image

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago

      a wonderful guide through that photo of a woman on the mountain.. everything feels right and the poem was just frosting on the cake voted awesome my friend :) Frank...

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Haha Eric, thanks for reading. Bill said to make up new metaphors rather than use old cliches... :)

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Well there I was hanging out with Brenda and Dutch just enchanted with their life and love. I would never have thought of a Viagra Sky but I could see the colors.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you for your kind and wise words DDE, and for reading my hub.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      The beautiful thought of beautiful woman if not from the outside then definitely from the inside. The finest do belong right up there. Another wonderful thought from you.