The day I spent with MY watermelon

Eh, maybe the title gave away that a watermelon was the topic of my day. A gigantic watermelon to be exact. It could have been entitled 'the day of the large watermelon' or even 'the day a watermelon became my best friend' but, I don't want to sound too lonely.

Every day is a good day above ground, some days are better than most but the day I shared with my watermelon was one of the best!

The day started off like any other day. I woke up craving watermelon, not an easy craving to fill in the winter especially if you're homeless. But, crave I did and to my surprise one showed up about mid afternoon. Yes, you read that sentence right, I got my wish. Now, if I were to admit right away that the gigantic watermelon I hid behind my back well into the evening was just imaginary I know, I would sound too lonely.

What a great day we had!

I sat 'cheesin' as they say in Boston, on a friends couch while my mind raced. I was contented in my plight imaging all the places I could share with my watermelon. The woods, the river, a triathlon in England? It didn't matter. When it's a trip into MY imagination the sky is purple and there is no such thing as floors. (Aside: this means we don't need to have feet and everyone floats. Try picturing yourself as a sexy cloud that should take up most of your weekend. If you're lonely. So anyway....) There I was just smiling away well into the evening when a friend actually noticed. "Hey C, whatcha smilin' about?"
"Oh, I'm just running a marathon." Under my breathe I mumbled, "with my watermelon."
"What marathon?"
"The one in England you know, the Triathlon."
My answer only left my friend bewildered enough to stop talking to me. Which was fine with me, I had my watermelon keeping me company. And, let me tell ya! It isn't easy running a marathon or riding a bike, forget swimming across the channel with a gigantic watermelon. I had to stay focused.

Once it started to get late, my friend asked me to actually move off the couch to help them get something across the room. I had to refuse. "I'm sorry I can't walk right now."
"Why?" came the reply.
"Well I have this gigantic watermelon pinched between my butt cheeks right now and it's kinda hard to walk at the moment. Can you ask someone else for help?"

Needless to say, the day ended in laughter. Which made it one of the best days on earth.

The next day wasn't so pleasant, I had decided to let my watermelon dry outside due to all the sweat it had accumulated from my butt cheeks. As it turned out, my faithful traveling companion was hidden by another more crafty of my friends and held hostage. It was never found again. I am even more lonely now then ever! Which brings me to this word of advice. When imagining a playmate be sure to give your imagination a happy ending to the story!