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The fragments of an interview 3

Updated on December 11, 2011

Well, we have no vacancies right now, really. But I would need to have a justifiable reason to provide you with a living. How can you help me?

I can assist you in many ways. I had left my college with distinctions no other student can achieve. The indelible experience of studying meticulously taught me the discipline of focusing on specific goals at the same time and remind me to put all my effort into molding my future. My knowledge also grows each day and I am often praised as a ''walking encyclopedia''. After my college years ended, I work as a retail store assistant in the city where I excel in working with others and ensure that customers are always pleased. I want to be part of your organization that will reward me commensurately with my results, especially with my credentials being relevant to your needs.

Hmm...This sounds a bit pretentious and ostentatious. Sorry to say that, but honestly, did you read a business book about interviews?

No, no. I swear that I do not memorize word by word from books. Though I did study from business books relating to interviews, I only get the stimulus to feel emboldened to talk persuasively. I do not intend to rely everything on books. Every organization has different needs, don't you think so? Therefore, what I am saying is genuine, authentic and honest. I hope that clear your doubts. Believe me, I am an experienced student.

How dare you impugn my authority! I hate that last sentence you said. Do you mean that by getting distinctions you are more respectable than others? They're all just speed bumps, roadblocks, and detours on the road to success. But there are still obstacles every human, whether poor or rich, successful or unsuccessful, need to surmount! Get out of my office, you haughty graduate!

I am so, so sorry, sir. I did not say that deliberately. It is just a thought that comes to my mind...I didn't have the time to mull over this...I am so sorry!

And by the way, I know what is the reason of you being here. You are just fraternizing with a person who has no reputable, educational qualification but has been making much more money than those superior graduates, like you. Get out of my office. I have no right to employ you. You will languish our morale and soon, you will oust my position to get more personal gains. Get out.

Oh! I am really sorry about my embarrassing mistake...please forgive me. Please give me a chance. I have the ultimate skills for unlimited success, all your organization. You will see yourself getting richer and happier every day!

Ha! What nonsense. I don't believe in people who boast when they don't know even how to be convivial and jovial. And you, being so gruff, you are just like a beggar even if you are wearing expensive business attire and polished shoes! Who are you? The President? Listen, you are not a genie, you are also not a ''walking encyclopedia''. How can an encyclopedia boast? Is there any chapter in your ''encyclopedia'' which talks about ''awakening''? I think you should repair your ''encyclopedia''. No one wants to buy your one.

I am wearing what is appropriate and conservative, sir. I am donning a dark business suit, a white long-sleeve shirt, a color-coordinated tie, black socks, and black lace-up dress shoes. Furthermore, I am clean shaven, have a neatly groomed hair, and am wearing no flashy jewelry or loud cologne. All of these, which I am wearing, were bought from a reputable men's clothing store and the salesperson found for me these coordinating components for the job interview. I see no reason why you must disparage me of my attire when it doesn't differ from generally accepted norms. Sir, please relax.

I see. What a cogent excuse you are giving! Trying to pacify me? It's not that easy, I tell you. I am sorry to say that, at Competitive Casual Company, business suits are specifically forbidden. All of my personnel wear blue jeans, including me. Don't you see that? Are you blind? Since you haven't researched about our dress code, forget about finding a job here. I know, you read in books about dressing in the more formal business style to be safe, but it's different here; hardly anyone knows. And those who make the extra effort to know this will get their aspiring jobs.

How can entry-level white-collar positions be so economical? Are you serious?

The world is poised for more, not less, globalization. Your attire represents our reputation. But your snobbery will affect our business. Go back and work in your retail store. I want you to forget about how much you have studied, including all of your certificates, your distinctions and whatever. And, let me tell you, no more supremacy over education and qualification; no more.


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