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The Funny Christmas With no End

Updated on December 6, 2012
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A bad day for Santa who was almost done

we thought so..!

his sleigh got stuck near our home

so we invited him to get inside our own

so we can get him amused and all...


Little elves came inside shivering through our door

I welcome them and decided to crack some jokes

and Santa's helpers got hold of the reindeer's

got some beer and told him, to your health and cheers!


what elves learn in school? I asked to break the Ice

they looked at each other with a certain surprise

they learn the "elf abet," if you didn't know

Santa started laughing while rubbing his nose


I kept reminding myself to entertain my guests and their long hours

why the Christmas alphabet is shorter than ours?

Not an idea said Santa while he called triple A

the Christmas alphabet has No-L, (Noel) I said.


They got hold of a repair shop to fix the sleigh

triple A said Santa's account was cancelled for no pay

don't worry Santa, here I have Three gardens for you

Why? he asked. So you can hoe hoe hoe, Wouldn't you


He was glad his delivery was over and wanted to get home

North pole, was a long way ahead to go

Mrs. Santa was waiting with her sweetest smile

full of healthy food, cashew nuts and red wine


He paid me back with this one, oh Lord!

what Christmas carol is a favorite of mom and dad?

I have three girls and all love presents dear Santa, That's all I know..

His answer was, 'Silent night, do I make sense, huh?'


He was heading out and he saw my snowman with a scarf pale black

What do you think he is going to have for breakfast I asked

Maybe a delicious ice cream like any of us, he said

Dear Santa you are funny but it will be Frosted flakes!


You funny man Lord, he said

You have your gift down the chimney, by the fireplace

don't get mad but they wanted to surprise your mind

They knew you have photographic memory

agreed with Susan, Marissa and 'Tammy sweet child'


is a gift from the ladies at HP

I went inside and I opened it right away

A digital camera for the Lord, from all of them

Santa played me off all this time... amen!

Comments

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  • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

    Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

    great poem Joseph. Sorry I didn't catch it earlier!

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Well Dave,

    I wonder if Santa...ever, ever...got drunk after done with the season? Maybe Rudolph can hint us...Or maybe the Santa's helpers signed a contract with the no see, no tell 'clause'

    And why the wine can be green..or can be red?

    LORD

  • Dave Mathews profile image

    Dave Mathews 5 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

    I'm not sure if there was any egg nog with that rum you drank over the holiday but it sure got you going.

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Was missing already my friend Eddy,

    Happy new year too!

    LORD

  • Eiddwen profile image

    Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

    Oh dear this one's a gem lord and has brought many a smile for sure.

    I hope you are having much festive cheer and here's to a brilliant new year my friend.

    Take care

    Eddy.

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    It was way funnier for me..as we think and create...and get to the point! Take care RACI

    lord

  • raciniwa profile image

    raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

    hahahaha...you have me laughing there Lord oh Lord...you have a funny way of saying things...

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Raciniwa and always exploring,

    This poem was hillarious even for me .ho-ho-ho....hold it man! Your sleidge is pulling my belt.....OHHHH!

    lord

  • always exploring profile image

    Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

    This was funny..Way to go Santa...

  • raciniwa profile image

    raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

    this is funny than ever...it must be great talking to Santa...hoe hoe hoe...

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Hahaha! You think so?

    They had fun and after done they had to run...Mrs, Santa was busy with...the mailman...not in a bad way, the mail was delayed...and "she coudn't wait"

  • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

    Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

    That was elfaliciously funny!!

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Thanks Ardie,

    You are welcome and hope to see you around for so long. You are a good greeter as well, that smile is so cute!! Seems that you never left high school (jk)

    LORD

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Good evening Debby!

    Lol! You want our pictures? I guess we will have to some day..since we got a camera now. You have a nice night and hope you spent your christmas with your loved ones!

    LORD

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    hello MARY 615,

    You always reading our work..and we paying back with visiting your inspirations. This was just a piece of creativity after a good dinner. We all did spend a good time and glad to see you in here.

    LORD

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Good Evening Sunnie,

    You made me laugh on this one too. I guess your family got over and left overs are ready to be put away for the next day. Happy to see you smile on this piece! Take care friend!

    LORD

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Just a teacher,

    I always feel happy when I see you around...You always inspires to continue writing...we wanna see your smile, at least in pics! Have a great day...and yes your students might get a good laugh as well.

    LORD

  • Ardie profile image

    Sondra 5 years ago from Neverland

    Such a cute and funny poem. I loved no L :) you're way creative!

  • Deborah Brooks profile image

    Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

    Mr Dear Mr. Lord...You are so funny... Ok now that you got a camera I want pictures... lol lots of pictures..

    Hope you had a great Christmas..

    debbie

  • mary615 profile image

    Mary Hyatt 5 years ago from Florida

    Thanks for the giggle at the end of my Christmas Day, Lord. My family just left with full bellies, their gifts, and leftovers! I hope you and yours had a wonderful day today!

  • profile image

    Sunnie Day 5 years ago

    This is Elfin funny! Thank you lord! hahaha

  • justateacher profile image

    LaDena Campbell 5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

    Great! I will have to see if my students know what the elves learn in school!

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    We loved it too dear Flora! Was fun to write it...Hope you are enjoying a restful day with Ami and friends...

    LORD

  • FloraBreenRobison profile image

    FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

    elf-abet..love it!

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    I think you are right Linda..I go to the restroom and my eyes ball are whitier and about to pop out! Got the feeling even..from behind...

    LORD

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

    Lord I'm beginning to think you might have consumed a bit to much of spiked egg nog! hahaha! Yay for your digital camera, I'm looking forward to you sharing many photos! Ho, Ho, Ho!