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The Too-Talkative Garden Snake and the Flying Worm

Updated on June 18, 2015
Little too-talkative garden snake trying to swallow its own tongue
Little too-talkative garden snake trying to swallow its own tongue | Source

Sometimes, I suppose, when a person gets old enough, their minds are rather unpredictable. They think things which only other old people think. Maybe thoughts they had as little children come back for today's action. If they are lucky enough, they might even remember something just told to them. Doubtful, but always possible.

So it is for the talkative garden snake and the flying worm. Surely that is a childish thought. Well, maybe not. Maybe it was something you just said to me. I am unsure. Often, however, the best kind of tale is the unsure tale. Did that really happen? Might it happen again while "I am watching?"

Turning the table on the snake

Not too many years back, someone told me a funny story about a little green snake that got inside a building on one of the military bases. That little snake caused more problems than a whole roomful of naughty children might cause - or even more problems than would the whole of Congress cause over there in Washington, D.C.

As I sat here, remembering some (not all) of that funny story, the idea of turning the table on an ordinarily problem-causing garden snake seemed as though it might be a fun thing to do.

Would not a worm need to grow wings?

Yes. Flying ordinarily requires that a critter have wings - flapping wings, gliding wings, some sort of wings. Let your mind think about that for a moment. Flying squirrels don't have wings. Bats don't have wings. People don't have wings. They all find ways which permit them to fly. OK. Worms can fly, too - wings not required. Make you a bet on it, too.

Don't talk with your mouth full

Do you remember when your mama told you to "be quiet and eat your supper?" There you were, seated at the dinner table with a plate in front of you, loaded down with good grits - but you wanted to talk, talk, talk. Sometimes they'd take the plate away from in front of you just to shut you up. You had a choice. Talk or eat.

Little garden snakes and huge boa constrictors run into the same problem. Talk or eat. Snakes really don't have a choice of "talk or eat." Once a snake starts to eat, it cannot talk.

Some day soon

I promise you this - I will try to remember the funny story about the little green snake on the military base that caused so much trouble there. If you are a practiced student of word usage, you will have noticed that I did not promise to tell you the story, only to try to remember it. Much like "talk or eat," is "remember before telling." I remind you of the similarity there in the event you have a belief that I am on the worm's side. No. I am not the little garden snake's pal, either. I go for the birdie. It not only had wings, it seems that it also had an afterburner.

The other day I was reminded of that feature of high-speed birds when afterburner presence was once again proven to me by birdie text on the windshield of my little red pickup truck. Birds have afterburners. Most of the time, however, those afterburners don't burn hot enough.

Not simply made-up nonsense

Whenever I put a little rhyme together, I stick to the facts. Some folks construct doggerel such that it is plain foolishness. My stuff is straight from the book. Experimentally verified. You will see.

The Too-Talkative Garden
Snake and the Flying Worm

Wishing on a worm. Wishing on a worm.
Tasty critters. How they squirm.
On worms is how we snakes get fed.
we even eat 'em 'fore they're dead.

Put worm on a leaf for eating.
Sunshine on it - enough heating.
"Worm," asked I, "are you done yet?
If not already - soon I'll bet."

Worm was smarter than are most.
The hot sun caused its rump to roast.
Never knew that worms could fly.
My worm did - flipped way up high.

That worm left me - wanted out.
Woulda' starved me, have no doubt.
As my worm sped through the air,
It did not see the birdies there.

Well, birds are snakes, but with two feet
and wings to get around. They're neat.
For me, for birds, worms make a meal,
but flying worms? A real strange deal.

Birdies don't much like surprises.
Yet, worms for real make tasty prizes.
Robin Redbreast saw worm coming.
High speed on - and two wings humming.

Garden Snakes don't ever cry
about things flying in the sky,
'cept tasty worms that get away,
"Eat 'fore talking. Then they'll stay."

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    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      3 years ago from USA

      Hello Good Doctor BJ (drbj on HubPages) -

      I surely did get all excited when I happened upon your very welcome comment. Please be forgiving of me that I took almost 4 days to tell you that. I wish, at least I sometimes wish, that I had a shot of what "I was having." Beats getting a shot between the eyes, right?

      I have been holding a "bio" sort of post here for a time now, mostly because those are typically boring (as is this one). I put the thing together a while ago when I had the goofy notion that I could step outside the door and go to work for someone dumb enough to hire me. Thought it might be fun to think about some of the nonsense I had done in the past. Maybe the pix will make it worth looking at, but It did not give me any super ideas by which to pick up outside employment at my rather overripe age.

      Hope you are doing well and that you are as happy as one of those Florida swamp pythons with a herd of buffalo stuck halfway down its gullet. (That makes 'em overjoyed because they then have something interesting to do - try to swallow without burping so loudly that they tip off the other 'gators about the feast they could steal without fear of getting chomped on by the gorging 'gator...)

      I'll be talking with one of my Florida buddies this evening. He lives on Merritt Island.

      Gus :-)))

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      3 years ago from south Florida

      Flying worms and snakes that talk, eh? OK, Gus, I'll have a shot of what you're having. (laughing)

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      3 years ago from USA

      Hello annart - Thanks for all the love. Brings up that old saying (since amended) - "Do as the Romans when in Rome. Love my fun words you'll find in each poem."

      Silly they are, but serious their spelling.

      Have fun today, Nice AnnArt (My own goal at all times, save at 02:00 of a Monday morning.)

      Note: A guy has to sleep sometime, right?

      Gus :-)))

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 

      3 years ago from SW England

      Love the preamble and love the poem! Had to feel sorry for both.

      I do wonder about getting old and thinking about strange things!

      Ann

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      3 years ago from USA

      Eric - In answer to my last question, above, I right wacky stuff rather than to wrong it, such as spelling write rightly. It would never do to spell right wrongly. If you sense some confusion in that answer, chalk it up to pinkyitis of the left hand on those qwertyuiop keys of this doggone MicroSoft keyboard. It cost me ten bucks at the big MicroCenter store, so I thought it would do better than it has done. I learned about its inability to correctly tell the difference between write and right - or is it wrong and right - or is it wrong and wring? It must be something. Give me a week and it will come to me. Well, I shall have to decide if I really want to know about it.

      Gus :-)))

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      3 years ago from USA

      Hello Eric (Ericdierker on HubPages) -

      When you can have fun at something, Good Friend, it does not matter that you may be skeptical concerning things. Allow me to give you a wee bit of guidance: to wit - It is better to believe that worms can really fly than to believe that snakes can speak. The most advanced of the snakes is still in the infantile stage, unable to talk, but able only to shake the little rattle it totes around on its rear end. So much for that, right?

      Believe that if God can make worms, God can make worms that fly right nicely.

      Now, why else would I right such wacky stuff?

      Gus :-)))

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      3 years ago from USA

      Hello John (bigj1969 on HubPages) -

      Thanks for the kind comment about this wormy little tale. In my foray into your interesting HubPages "profile" page I noticed that you and I share some things in common - namely female children, enjoyment of poem writing, and a connection to Glasgow. As to the latter, mine is here in Kentucky, and yours is on the polar side of Hadrian's Wall. These things make a good reviewing of your writings of importance - and I will bet that it is going to be lots of fun in the doing.

      Gus :-)))

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Delightfully fun read. Hmm about the flying worm -- I am still the skeptic.

    • bigj1969 profile image

      John Marshall 

      3 years ago from glasgow

      Superb hub,well written.

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      3 years ago from USA

      Howdy Jim (FitnezzJim on HubPages) -

      I suppose that dropping can occur only after a critter gets sufficiently high up in the pecking order. My worm got there, but like the rest of us, certainly not on its own.

      Have fun today. "Illegitimati non carborundum" as it used to be said over at NASA quite often.

      Gus :-)))

    • FitnezzJim profile image

      FitnezzJim 

      3 years ago from Fredericksburg, Virginia

      Poor worm, after he lands, he will be a dropping.

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