The Tumultous, yet Healing Face of Despair. Saturday's Inspiration 19

"World-despair is at once bad and good, undivine and divine. It is bad and undivine because it lives in the darkness-palace of the ignorance-kingdom. It is good and divine because it cries for Light, more Light, abundant Light and infinite Light; Love, more Love, abundant Love and infinite Love; Delight, more Delight, abundant Delight and infinite Delight." -Sri Chinmoy

Despair can be as lonely and painful as bereavement. Different kinds of intensity, perhaps, but both can be agonising, immensely painful, even as they are ultimately healing.

I have had my fair share and these poems are for once, expressing my own feelings of many, many moons ago. My Heart and soul cried both days and nights for a very long time in such a way that cannot be put into words.

I heard a friend try once, and even though his mates were listening and shaking their heads, I felt that they did not understand. One has to have that kind of experience to comprehend.The great spiritual Seeress, in talking of her longing and ecstasy for God, says that only the wounded, understands the plight of the wounded ... the fire burning in the Heart.

Mira's state was a God-intoxicated one, quite different from our mundane problems. It was ethereal, esoteric, mystical ... yet the human experience, for us at least, also has its own intensity and is incredibly real!

Guruji teaches that the Universe is not Maya (Illusion) in the true sense, as the universe is God's body and nothing comes from an empty void. So our joys and sorrows; our desires and their consequences … our ignorance, weaknesses, limitations and bondage, are ultimately all a part of the cosmic plan.

So while I'm not asking anyone to go and look for pain or suffering, it is nevertheless real, too real, for most of us in this earthly sojourn. We carry on, like the camel, eating the thorns, until one day it dawns on us, that it is making our mouths bleed.

All is not gloom though. My case was resolved but I was growing stronger in and through the experience, as so many of us are. I'm by no means unique in this human experience, which ultimately humbles us, helping each soul to recognise its own vulnerability … weaknesses, the need for Grace and guidance. Without this, we die daily, even if we claim to be alive.

I trust you read my work with the light of prudence and wisdom, that is embedded in the soul.

You asked me to leave;

My soul became a wounded moon,

Pulling at the lighthouse of the sun.

From the Palace of Temptation, my demons came,

Crushing Your beautiful and vulnerable angel;

Leaving a trail of turbulence and sorrow.

Yet I still hoped to cling to the beauty that was -

The white Light of my tomorrow’s sunrise -

Not the abysmal abyss, of my current state.

Long and lonely are these months of emptiness.

My tears flow - like rain - from any place but heaven;

The mind dines in turmoil, at the entrance of Hades gate.

The usually scented jasmines, have lost their fragrance,

Unable to sacrifice,

For a Heart wrapped in searing pain.

The nightingale watched in sadness,

As I spurned that fateful dice, and lost the

Mellifluous sweetness, of Love’s eloquent golden voice.

Manatita, the Lantern Carrier. 23^rd May, 2019

Crying and weeping, long days and long nights,

Intense was the pain; with little respite.

I thought the mundane was full of its frights,

My Soul’s lamenting, its dearth of Delight.

I knew that desires, did come with a price,

By shirking the Light, I showed my disdain.

I entered the lair and spun the dice thrice,

Covered in darkness and shadows profane.

Immense was the pain, of a struggling soul,

Called on the Beloved, to strengthen my Heart.

Love answered my cries; removed the hot coal,

My Spirit stopped burning; desires were caught.

Gone are the cobwebs, but paid a great price,

To now hear the sound, of my Master’s voice.

-Manatita, The Lantern Carrier. 30^th January, 2019.

"The answer to world-despair is Light. The answer to world-despair is Love. The answer to world-despair is Delight. We need Light to see the Creator within and the creation without. We need Love to feel the Beloved within and the Lover without. We need Delight to sail God’s Boat within and to reach God’s Shore without." -Sri Chinmoy

"World-despair exists because the world desperately needs the life-illumining Light. Why is there world-despair? World-despair exists because the world constantly needs the life-energising Love. Why is there world-despair? World-despair exists because the world immediately needs the life-immortalising Delight." - Sri Chinmoy