Those Wondrous New Dawns.
A Brand new dawn
A time of new beginnings
I would say that my first new beginning (even though I didn't realise this at the time) would have been back to when I was 12 years old and I disclosed the abuse at home.
My next new beginnings would have been when I met my ex at the age of 17 years old and he was 34 years old. He was a known abusive alcoholic who had a history of beating up his first wife.
What attracted me was probably the 'father figure' and his reputation of being the 'tough guy' around town!! Oh how no one would ever abuse me again and no one did either, except for him !!!
There was also another attracting factor :-
I was so quiet and shy and my self confidence at a very low ebb. I found it so difficult to talk to boys on a one to one basis. I would desperately will the words to come out but they wouldn't; no matter how hard I tried !!!
When I met my ex whose conversation skills were worse than mine ; he actually made me relax and to feel good about myself !!
A part of me said this wasn't right but another part said "Oh yes it is !!"and this is the part which won.
I will now take a massive leap from 1976 to 2002 when I found the strength and courage to leave him after a 26 year abusive marriage !!!
Oh how I believe
Things happen for a reason
Like changing seasons.
At this point I went to work for the Youth Offending Team and within six months I was running my own Bail Hostel.
My self confidence raised its head slowly but surely. Then I met Dai and over time we got to know one another but my mental barriers still there like a Yo- Yo!!
Up, Down!! Up Down!!
Then came the day when he asked me out !!!!
"OUT FOR A MEAL!!!"
My only experience of this was being thrown a packet of Cheese and Onion Crisps when I was sat in the corner of a pub !!!
I had made myself a promise that I would never go into a relationship again!!From now on it would be me, my children and grandchildren.
However 'NEVER' is a very long time and while a part of me was negative, slithers of bright positives slipped through and these slithers grew and grew until the time came when my heart told me to take a chance and to let those barriers down.
How I remember the initial paranoia but realised slowly that Dai was also unsure; so this was not just not my own fears.
As time went by I felt my self confidence soaring and today we have been together for 8 years and our love has grown as has also our faith, belief and trust.
Around three years ago; six months after the tragic passing of my beautiful daughter Erin I joined you all on here.
I had once so scornfully said that it was impossible to make friends over the web but how wrong was I ?? !!!Oh yes so very very wrong!!!!!
Writing can be so therapeutic and mine allowed positive energies to flow through and on here I found peace and solace.
Initially I had only published stories or Rhyming verse but slowly I began to experiment and practice with 'Rictameter, Haiku , Acrostic and Freeverse".
I also grew as a writer and person; the greatest gift of all is that I found 'ME'!!!
I thank you all ;my treasured friends on here!!My gratitude comes from the bottom of my heart .I am not going to name anyone as I don't want to leave anyone out .
When I contemplate my life has certainly not been all doom and gloom!!
How I loved the years of bringing up my children ;teaching them all I knew about the magic of Nature and I love them all dearly!!
Today there are my treasured grandchildren too ;Sue and Ian are expecting their fifth child any day now and this will the bring the number of our grandchildren up to 13 in all.!!!
At the end of the day it is my past which has made me into who I am today!!!
Someone who has come to terms with her yesterdays ; is happy with her todays and excited about her tomorrows!!
A Brand New Dawn
Richer than royalty
Amazement and wonder
Never ever to fade
Darkness diminished by light
Nourish our own true beings
Eternal our love
Wallow in blessed wonder
Darkness pierced by slithers of light
All around love stories so true
Where love raises its head in triumph
Ne'er again will darkness reign.
Such bright days ahead
Raise your heads in self belief
Fill your being with joy.
Laughter and magic
Fill today and tomorrow
Sharing is caring.
Simply look around
A helping hand so caring
Beating hearts so true.
I now wish you all
Yes the best weekend ever
All the way from Wales.
How we need someone
Someone we can call our own
For each heart so true.
This sunflower started off life on waste growud but today stands 10 feet tall and today boasts 104 flower heads. Need I say more??!!.
Find that faith so true
Your auras golden sunshine
Tomorrows so clear.
Lots of love to you all from my little corner of Wales.