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To The Original Mean Girl: A letter I wish I Could Write

Updated on February 22, 2009

 Dear J.A.C.T.—

You spent years torturing me in elementary school and Jr. High.  To this day, I do not know why.  I know it was important to you to rule over me and make my life miserable.  You are the original mean girl.  You took a lot from me.

You took away a happy childhood from me.  I would make friends and all would be going well until you noticed I had friends.  Then you’d sweep in and whisper in their ear and they would turn around and be as cruel as you were to me.  I cannot make friends easily; people frighten me.

You took away my ability to trust. I still don’t trust people easily. I’m always on the lookout for what they might do to me. I would forgive you and your followers back then, just to have you repeat the torture. When your friends—your crew—turned on you and treated you the way you treated me, I was there for you; only you turned on me, again, as soon as they welcomed you back into the fold.

You had me physical beaten up when I was becoming numb to your mind games. And when you were called out on it, you increased the pressure and torture more. You forced me to run.

You are the child that is now, 25 years later, prosecuted. Oh, how at times I wish things were then as they are now. Of course, the same chill runs through my mind every time I think then I would have to deal with your cyber bullying.


Yet, I forgive you. I forgive you now, as an adult. While what you did was wrong in every imaginable way, I learned and am a better person for it.

In high school, when we moved away, I finally found out that I could have friends. No, I don’t make them easily, I make people come to me, but people do come to me. They want to be my friend. I began to move up the ranks in my high school rather quickly; I was one of the popular people. It didn’t last long, but that was my choice. When I was on your side of the fence, and saw what they did to others, I realized, I didn’t like those people. I walked away on my terms. I call the shots. I have control of my relationships. I am never in a toxic relationship.


I am a deadly honest person. I am as straightforward as they come. I call a spade a spade. I don’t play games. I don’t manipulate. I don’t tolerate those who do; I call them out on it. Everyone always knows where they stand with me, and I ask for the same in return. It really makes for good relationships.

While I should be more trusting and forgiving than I am, I now have the ability to see through people quickly and easily. I am an excellent judge of character. People are always remarking on how uncanny it is that I can see to someone’s core so quickly and accurately. I don’t tell them why. It was something beat into me over and over.

I am a much more compassionate person than I might have been otherwise. I feel for those who have been treated unjustly. I stand up for them, against others. I am not afraid to go against the majority. I am not afraid to speak. I have made a point in teaching my children to have the utmost compassion for others. I am a good friend—loyal to the core. I am the Good Samaritan. I am active against social injustice.

I am not afraid to be alone. I can go to the movies by myself; in fact, I consider it a treat. I can go out to eat alone. I prefer to shop alone. While I enjoy the company of others, I enjoy my own company too. I am a strong person.

You stole things from me that no child should ever have stolen from them. I used to try to wish the same torture on you and/or your children, but could never bring myself to really want someone else to go through that. But, you gave me gifts also. You made me a better person. For that, I forgive you. I am happy with the person I see in the mirror. Are you?


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    • profile image

      nWA SOUTHab 7 years ago

      I went to chat with a sweet girl

    • Chrissy Says... profile image

      Chrissy Says... 8 years ago from Wenatchee, WA

      It's great to know you are no longer the victim...It's a hard, sometimes inevitable role to play. Someone in this life is always out to break others in order to try and build themselves up. It isn't until the victim understands that it isn't they who have the problem, but the bully themselves.

    • k@ri profile image

      Kari Poulsen 8 years ago from Ohio

      Lelah, Great Hub...Wonderful Hub...Outstanding Hub! I don't think the original mean girl would have been moved by would be outside their understanding. However, maybe some of the followers would have noticed!

      I do feel that most people are mean because this is all they learned in life, very sad. However, we are all thinking people and should be able to rise above what life hands us. Thanks for the letter! I may need to show it to the kids one day!

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      I get that a lot... :-)))

    • LelahKimball profile image

      LelahKimball 8 years ago from USA

      Nope. Not yet. Let me go check junk folders.

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Did you get my email?

    • LelahKimball profile image

      LelahKimball 8 years ago from USA

      CC--I'm a February baby. Sorry. I will take all you said about being strong and compassionate as for me; I love compliments. It's the aquarius in me.

      Mighty Mom--Thank you, thank you, thank you. I think you made my day. I do have to say, I am very happy with who I am today and without that experience in my life, I really don't think I'd be who I am. It's easy to forgive with that thought in mind. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't see it.

      Proud Mom--Thank you too. I especially take this as a high compliment from you; you touched me deeply today and if you can get something from me, it's just the icing on the cake.

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      THIS is an EXCELLENT article!! My oldest daughter deals with a girl at church who does the "whispering" thing. It's terrible. You have an excellent answer here.

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 8 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Welcome to Hub Pages. You have made an indelible first impression here -- so much wisdom and clarity. I'm blown away. I'm really impressed with your ability to see the bullying for what it was and to find it in your heart to forgive. Who's to say whether you would be the same strong adult had you not had this character building experience? I love the part about being popular in HS then walking away on your own terms. Bravo!

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 8 years ago

      Great hub. Were you born in Oct.? You sound just like my Wee One and she was born in Oct. She is a strong person, yet loving and forgiving and full of compassion.

    • profile image

      Amy G 8 years ago

      Nice answer Lelah! And no, there were no limitations on the original question...I would be just as happy to read humorous boss letters as the one you wrote. I have tried to confront my demons this way in the past, but the pen still rips through the paper. Maybe time will fix that - I loved it!


    • LelahKimball profile image

      LelahKimball 8 years ago from USA

      Thank you for the comments, and the compliments. It's amazing what the right question might make you think about, and express--although I'm sure when the request was made, letters to bosses and such were expected. Lol

      Fortuenrep--you're right that I'm new. I have no idea yet how to link hubs to other pages yet. I just jumped in this week and am figuring it out as I go. I'd take any help from anyone.

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      Nice hub. I'm glad you've finally confronted your demons and happier that you do not wish revenge which is the way to go, take only the good things from any experience good or bad. I'm also glad that you are now in a happier place :D

    • fortunerep profile image

      fortunerep 8 years ago from North Carolina

      WOW, that was awesome. That was one of the most riveting thing I have read in a while. Do you know how to link that to other sites (i noticed u were new)? Let me know if you need help. Wow again, I read it aloud and I feel better!!