To The Original Mean Girl: A letter I wish I Could Write
You spent years torturing me in elementary school and Jr. High. To this day, I do not know why. I know it was important to you to rule over me and make my life miserable. You are the original mean girl. You took a lot from me.
You took away a happy childhood from me. I would make friends and all would be going well until you noticed I had friends. Then you’d sweep in and whisper in their ear and they would turn around and be as cruel as you were to me. I cannot make friends easily; people frighten me.
You took away my ability to trust. I still don’t trust people easily. I’m always on the lookout for what they might do to me. I would forgive you and your followers back then, just to have you repeat the torture. When your friends—your crew—turned on you and treated you the way you treated me, I was there for you; only you turned on me, again, as soon as they welcomed you back into the fold.
You had me physical beaten up when I was becoming numb to your mind games. And when you were called out on it, you increased the pressure and torture more. You forced me to run.
You are the child that is now, 25 years later, prosecuted. Oh, how at times I wish things were then as they are now. Of course, the same chill runs through my mind every time I think then I would have to deal with your cyber bullying.
Yet, I forgive you. I forgive you now, as an adult. While what you did was wrong in every imaginable way, I learned and am a better person for it.
In high school, when we moved away, I finally found out that I could have friends. No, I don’t make them easily, I make people come to me, but people do come to me. They want to be my friend. I began to move up the ranks in my high school rather quickly; I was one of the popular people. It didn’t last long, but that was my choice. When I was on your side of the fence, and saw what they did to others, I realized, I didn’t like those people. I walked away on my terms. I call the shots. I have control of my relationships. I am never in a toxic relationship.
I am a deadly honest person. I am as straightforward as they come. I call a spade a spade. I don’t play games. I don’t manipulate. I don’t tolerate those who do; I call them out on it. Everyone always knows where they stand with me, and I ask for the same in return. It really makes for good relationships.
While I should be more trusting and forgiving than I am, I now have the ability to see through people quickly and easily. I am an excellent judge of character. People are always remarking on how uncanny it is that I can see to someone’s core so quickly and accurately. I don’t tell them why. It was something beat into me over and over.
I am a much more compassionate person than I might have been otherwise. I feel for those who have been treated unjustly. I stand up for them, against others. I am not afraid to go against the majority. I am not afraid to speak. I have made a point in teaching my children to have the utmost compassion for others. I am a good friend—loyal to the core. I am the Good Samaritan. I am active against social injustice.
I am not afraid to be alone. I can go to the movies by myself; in fact, I consider it a treat. I can go out to eat alone. I prefer to shop alone. While I enjoy the company of others, I enjoy my own company too. I am a strong person.
You stole things from me that no child should ever have stolen from them. I used to try to wish the same torture on you and/or your children, but could never bring myself to really want someone else to go through that. But, you gave me gifts also. You made me a better person. For that, I forgive you. I am happy with the person I see in the mirror. Are you?