ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

To the Olympic Committee: A Request

Updated on April 28, 2010

To The Olympic Committee A Request

Tonight I made the decision that people who are performing dangerous and highly distracting tasks behind the wheel are simply not getting enough credit or attention. I believe that the nation has been way too caught up droning on about war, and saving lives, and fixing the economy and has neglected this very special group of un-sung heroes. The unique combination of selfish disregard and mindless decision making has been ignored for way, way too long. I personally have had enough, and I believe their time has come. Therefore, I submit, to whom it may concern, that those who dare to really challenge themselves, at the meager expense of risking human life in this way be allowed the opportunity to participate in the Distraction Olympics.

The inspiration for this idea came at watching a young woman, clearly a genius, putting on make-up (eye-make up no less), while driving down Mathilda Avenue on our way home. A more judgmental person might have looked at her with disgust, but I was inspired! I wanted to scream, 'try that on the highway, amateur!' And then I realized that if I could get a Distraction Olympics going, that I would make an excellent coach. The Distraction Olympics can't run like the mainstream Olympics, with their fancy starting lines, rules, and guidelines. Rather, what I see for an event this special, is something more along the lines of YouTube Videos. Really, without human life actually at stake, it really takes the sport out of it.

I believe that Men and Women should have their own separate competitions, as is the norm for the Olympics, and that both sides should really be given the space and freedom to really demonstrate their creativity in putting lives in jeopardy. Naturally, as in figure skating, there should be higher scores awarded for those who go for the more difficult tasks. In effect, reading the newspaper behind the wheel is nice, but it's been done. Reading the newspaper, while reaching for your blackberry in the rear window with a cup of coffee in hand, and driving with your knees--higher score! When I begin to coach the woman I saw driving tonight, we'll start with make-up application behind the wheel, but I think that we'd go further in the competition if we add a full wardrobe change, and some Facebook time while headed down the highway.

YouTube will be a very, very important part of this, because if the video doesn't include fearful and horrified looks from other drivers, AND pedestrians, than clearly it just isn't Olympic-worthy. This is a sport after all, and an athlete isn't an athlete without the drive to set themselves apart from the competition. There's a lot of unsolicited training for the Distraction Olympics going on already, and I'm so tired of these people being judged, and criticized. Why let all this training go to waste, won't you please sign my petition to get these athletes the attention they deserve?


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Triplet Mom profile image

      Triplet Mom 

      8 years ago from West Coast

      Great hub....I hope that they respond to you soon because those are some quality athletes in my opinion.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)