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To The Unloveable Little Girl
Dear girl who made my son cry,
I do know your name. You have a lot of pain in your eyes and I know why. I know your mom left your family a few years ago. Packed her bags and left in the middle of the night - without you or your sister. I know it hurt your dad deeply and sometimes he's not there for you. Your hair and hands are often dirty. You rarely smile. You ride your bike unsupervised into the street without looking for cars. I expect to hear you've been hit by a car and hope it won't be me. You grab other kids toys/scooters while they are playing with them and refuse to share anything you bring out. You ask the most inappropriate questions to adults when they come out. By this, and other actions you have made yourself unlovable. I am an adult who knows what you have been through and still struggle with feelings of not wanting you around. When I send my boys outside to play, I hope you are not there (which you always are) so they can play in peace. I know in my heart the children who make themselves unloveable are the ones who need the most love. Knowing this has not made it any easier in putting that into practice with you.
That is why I must apologize. Yesterday you ran in front of my son in the bus line and said something that I couldn't hear that made him cry to the point the bus driver needed to stop and give him a hug before she could drive on. This morning at the bus stop you ran in front of him in line and I scolded you (not harshly) about how it wasn't nice to make others cry. You immediately wilted into a defeated ball. I was worried for my son without consideration of what you've been through already today. Did you get enough sleep? Did you get anything to eat for breakfast? Did anyone give you a hug and tell you they love you? I am an adult and should have the wisdom to let well enough alone. To set a good example.
Although I alone cannot break your tough shell, I pledge to do better. I will do my best to say nice things and boost your self esteem. I will show more patience with you knowing you are likely having a rough day.
I hope the best for you and hope life gets better. Me