ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Tommorow Will Be Gone.

Updated on July 14, 2019

Tell me what am supposed to do when they tell me to have hope and faith while in my head am just going through ways that would make my pain go away.
Tell me what I should day when they tell me me to keep praying while am already questioning everything about faith.
What am I supposed to do when am fighting myself trying to convince me that am not crazy.

. Have you tried celebrating someone's birthday and they ain't really there? Have you tried making up memories to see how things might be different if could have done somethings differently ?
.
Tell me, is it crazy that I have the exact words of our most of our conversation to hide in just to remind me to keep being sane?
.
I mean you all don't know what pain is, you just acting like you all do to just make me feel better.. Make me fake smiles every now and then.
.
Y'all don't know the emotions that come with that door slam and you just sit with your head up and tears just do their thing hoping that they are on the other side of the door.
.
What am I supposed to do when they tell you " don't cry, it's gonna be fine " , but you know it ain't never going to be the same.
.
What reason do I have to not just loose it already.
Who do I have to keep me sane while I keep crying on 'birthdays '
.
What do I have to actually wanna be alive anymore. ?.
.
I mean even drugs won't work.
My heart's damaged, and I bet even surgery won't fix it.
Crying just feels okay, because I'll end up having migraines and somehow I'll actually get some shut eye. .
.
Sometimes I just wish I'd set with the sun, or even better dissaper with the stars to wherever they hide but never show up again.
.

I don't even wanna start afresh,
To hell with that bullshit of moving to a new a place and starting all over..
All I know is that I'll still have my broken heart with me..
the very same stupid heart which has decided not to stop beating just yet.
I'll still have my stupid brain, doing the thinking, reciting the memories and giving me breakdowns every now and then.
.
Am just hoping they'll ask me to put my hands up over my shoulders and I'll intentionally pocket them so that I can hear that shot whistle through the wind...

And I won't have to see tommorow again.
And tomorrow will be gone.
.
.
.

© 2019 Amani Utembu

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Brenda Arledge profile image

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      8 months ago from Washington Court House

      Awe...such a sad poem. Although this is heartfelt you must look pass the pain.

      God has a special purpose for each of us. Sometimes we must endure pain and others will have no idea of what we are truly feeling.

      The easy way out is not the answer, for your purpose will not be fulfilled. Tell yourself with God all things are possible and I will make it through today.

      Believe you will, and you will. It may not be easy, but you will make it. Then when you find your purpose you will help someone along the way without even realizing you have done so.

      Do not give up.

      Understand that pain is sometimes a stepping stone to where you need to be.

      Others will need your help and guidance.

      Embrace all of life no matter what the day brings.

      Cry if you must, be upset for a moment, then thank God you are still among the living and give life your all.

    • SEO IT! profile image

      Karla Domanski 

      8 months ago from Cadillac, Michigan

      As much as I wish I could fix this for you, I know from personal experience no one person can do that. That is raw pain and it is something you have to go through to get on the other side and you CAN get there. Hold on. No matter what.

    • profile image

      charity mukonyo 

      8 months ago

      this is so sad,so much pain,hope its not you

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)