Too Close to the Edge

I'm stuck in neutral.

I was sure I was moving forward...
But I caught myself scooting back again.

Now I'm somewhere in the middle.

I usually steer clear of the edge,
tend to keep a good distance from that sort of drop off.

Sure, there's a railing to block my fall
But it's too flimsy and I rarely trust it.

Lately, though, I've been playing daredevil.

I've inched closer and closer still,
Peered over the edge even.

But I still pulled myself back.

I once let a toe ease across so I could stare down the steep rocky cliff.

I know I could leap.

I know I could jump right off.

I would probably just float easily down to the bottom,
Find the cool waters flowing there and bathe in them.

But the fear of the fall makes me nauseous and pulls me back every time.