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Best and Funny Einstein Jokes - 15 Jokes about Music, Wife, Childhood, God, Star Wars and Dog

Updated on November 12, 2016
Albert Einstein on Israel paper money 5 Lirot, 1968
Albert Einstein on Israel paper money 5 Lirot, 1968

Einstein Jokes - Second Part

This is the second part of 30 Best and Funny Einstein Jokes. This is consist of Einstein jokes about music, wife, women, childhood, God and heaven, start wars and dog. You will loved it and laugh with it. Read slowly and give comment if you like it.

The first part is about 15 Funny Einstein Jokes. Check it out later, here they are:

These Einstein Jokes is great stuff to share with your friends, partners, husband, wife, even for your children to motivate them laughing with great scientist. Enjoy it and I hope it bright your day. Thanks a lot and Have a nice reading!


Funny Einstein Jokes - Music

Madam, people are all the same

Einstein was attending a music salon in Germany before the Second World War, with the violinist S. Suzuki. Two Japanese women played a German piece of music and a woman in the audience exclaimed: "How wonderful! It sounds so German!"

Einstein responded: "Madam, people are all the same."

Einstein Can’t Count

Albert Einstein was a professor of mathematics at Princeton. But do you believe that he cannot count? Let we start the story. Albert Einstein, who fancied himself as a violinist, was rehearsing a Haydn string quartet.

When he failed for the fourth time to get his entry in the second movement, the cellist looked up and said, "The problem with you, Albert, is that you simply can't count."

Mileva Maric, Einstein first wife
Mileva Maric, Einstein first wife

Funny Einstein Jokes - Wife and Women

Einstein did that on the Back of Old Envelopes

Before they immigrated to the USA, the Einstein endured the severe economic situation in post World War I in Germany. Mrs. Einstein saved old letters and other scrap paper for Albert to write on and so continue his work.

Years later, Mrs. Einstein was pressed into a public relations tour of some science research center. Dutifully she plodded through lab after lab filled with gleaming new scientific napery.

The American scientists explaining things to her in that peculiarly condescending way we all treat non-native speakers of our own language.

Finally she was ushered into a high-chambered observatory, and came face to face with another, larger, scientific contraption. "Well, what's this one for?" she muttered.

"Mrs. Einstein, we use this equipment to probe the deepest secrets of the universe," cooed the chief scientist.

"Is THAT all!" snorted Mrs. Einstein. "My husband did that on the back of old envelopes!"

Elsa,  Einstein second wife
Elsa, Einstein second wife | Source

Einstein never has to dress well

When Einstein's wife told him to dress properly when going to the office, he argued, "Why should I? Everyone knows me there."

But when he was told to dress properly for his first big conference, he argued again, "Why should I? No one knows me there."


Einstein Wife

Einstein was feeling gloomy. A friend asked him, "What's the matter?"

Einstein replied, "My wife just doesn't understand me!"

Women’s Organization Protest
An American women's organization protested Einstein's visit to America (1928) on political grounds.

Einstein replied, "Never have I experienced from the fair sex such an energetic rejection of all my advances; if it ‘has’ happened, it was never by so many at once”.

Albert Einstein with his sister Maja about 1884.
Albert Einstein with his sister Maja about 1884. | Source

Best Einstein Jokes - Childhood

Where are its Wheels?

After the birth of his sister Maja, the two and a half year old Albert Einstein was told he would now have something to play with. After looking at the baby he complained, "Yes, but where are its wheels". (Biographical sketch by Maja Winteler-Einstein)

Einstein Silence

Little Albert Einstein was a late talker, and his parents were worried. But at the supper table one night he broke his silence to say, "The soup is too hot."

Greatly relieved, his parents asked why he had never said a word before.

Einstein answer, "Up to now everything was in order."


Best Einstein Jokes - Limerick

Stein limerick

There's a wonderful family named Stein.

There's Ep, there's Gert, and there's Ein.

Ep's statues are junk.

Gert's poems are bunk.

And nobody understands Ein.

Albert Einstein 1979 USSR Stamp
Albert Einstein 1979 USSR Stamp | Source

Einstein's favorite limerick

There was an old lady called Wright

Who could travel much faster than light.

She departed one day

In a relative way

And returned on the previous night.

Funny Einstein Jokes - God and Heaven

Einstein and God

Einstein climbs to the top of Mount Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord, “God, what does a million years mean to you?”

The Lord replies, “A minute.”

Einstein asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”

The Lord replies, “A penny.”

Einstein asks, “Can I have a penny?”

The Lord replies, “In a minute.”

Einstein in Heaven

Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others." He is told by the doorman named Pete.

Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So Pete leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants.

"See, Here is your first roommate. He has an IQ of 180!" "Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss mathematics!"

"And here is your second roommate. His IQ is 150!" "Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss physics!"

"And here is your third roommate. His IQ is 100!" "That Wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theatre!"

Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it. "I'm your last roommate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 80."

Albert smiles back at him and says, "So, where to you think interest rates are headed?"

Note: There was variant of this story, few stories said Einstein was in party. There was different ending too. See stories below.

Einstein at a party:  Albert goes to another person and asks, “What is your IQ?”
The man answers, “51.” Albert responds, “How ’bout them Cowboys?”

Other story: Albert goes to another gentleman and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which
the man answers, "16." Albert responds, "Hoe gaan dit met die Blou Bulle?"

Portrait of Isaac Newton (age 46), 1689, by Godfrey Kneller
Portrait of Isaac Newton (age 46), 1689, by Godfrey Kneller | Source

Einstein and Colleague in Heaven

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek. Unfortunately Einstein is the ‘den’ and stands against the wall with his eyes closed and counts till 100 to enable all the physicists to run and hide. At the count of 100 Einstein turns around and finds Newton standing there.

He screams, “Newton, you are out!” Newton says, “No, I ‘m not!”

Einstein says, “Yes, you are. I can see you here in front of me”.

Newton says, “I’m not out. Pascal is.”

Einstein is a bit confused and starts to scratch his head and beard.

Newton says “Here, Let me explain”

He draws a square one meter by one meter on the floor and stands in the middle of it and says, “Newton per meter square is a Pascal, so it’s Pascal who’s out, not me”

Funny Einstein Jokes - Dog

Smart Dog Chico

One day Einstein told about his dog. He said that the dog is very smart. He feels sorry for me because I receive so much mail; that's why he tries to bite the mailman. (Albert Einstein, regarding his dog Chico).

Master Yoda - Star Wars
Master Yoda - Star Wars | Source

Best Einstein Jokes - Yoda and Star Wars

Einstein and Master Yoda

Would you believe that Einstein was the inspiration for Master Yoda? Stuart Freeborn, the make-up supervisor for the original Star Wars trilogy modeled Yoda after his own face. He added a bit of Einstein's eyes and wrinkles for that "wise look" of the Jedi master.

Einstein eyes were the model for E.T. movie by Steven Spielberg's 1982 blockbuster. His hair also model into multiple screen scientists, including Dr. Strangelove and Dr. Emmet Brown in the Back to the Future series.

I am stop here, but you can continue laughing. Have a lot of laugh!


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    • profile image


      7 years ago

      The Mrs. Einstein quote: "My husband did that on the back of old envelopes!" was by his second wifd Elsa. The image of his first wife Mileva next to it is misleading. She never whent with him to the US, they divorced in 1919. Btw Mileva worked together with him on his papers.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 

      7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      very funny!


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