Trump Marks His Territory

Hey Pres, before you finally get your wish and start the Second Civil War, or World War 111, you may have noticed that North America is up sh** creek? And the eerie thing about the continent being up that creek, is that the names of both of the continent’s so-called leaders, start with TRU. Canada’s selfie loving Prime Minister, Justin TRUdeau, and America’s tweet loving President, Donald TRUmp?

Odd, don’t you think, two TRUisms in the same continent?

Don’t worry about naming the war to end all wars, Don. If you haven’t alienated all of your allies, and assuming any of them are left alive, I’m quite sure they’ll call it Trump’s Holocaust, or perhaps your original family name of Drumpf? Naw; doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it? With a name like Trump you can Trumpet it to the world. We see you’ve started calling yourself a Nationalist, whatever that means….let’s face it Trumpy, what ‘ist’ you call yourself, depends on your audience at that particular moment.

Are you taking the ‘Nationalist’ point of view from your immigrant Scottish mother? Was she a Scottish Nationalist by any chance? You seem to be prepared to forget that immigrants made the USA the country it is. To the indigenous (Indian) people, your white Christian ancestors were savages. Your Father especially was, with Christ as his middle name. Halfway to being the son of God, perhaps? Because he knew his son would act like he was the son of God?

Once you were born in the States, did you decide it was your country, because you got here first? A bit like a dog urinating on its territorial boundaries. You started doing the urination thing on the USA’s boundaries as soon as you were elected. But at least with Puerto Rico you tossed some paper towels to them so they could dry themselves off after the urination.

But what about Hawaii or Alaska? You could pretend that Hawaii doesn’t exist, after all, it is halfway across the Pacific, and I don’t think you own any golf courses there.

But what to do with Alaska? Is it really a part of mainland America considering it is so close to Russia and on the other side of Canada? You could solve that quandary quite easily, Don, simply invade Canada. Let’s face it Donald, ever since you used rule 232 - National Security is Threatened - as an excuse to slap tariffs on Canadian steel, you’ve been straining at the leash to invade Canada.

OK, you might be right about Trudeau, as he is a little twerp, but this thing you have about the tariffs on milk doesn’t make sense. We all know that the US slaps more tariffs on its own milk exports than Canada has on theirs. Even your own farmers are baffled by your point of view, and just shrug when you mention that they will be able to export an extra 3% - not exactly heady stuff, or enough to make any cattle millionaires.

Now we hear that you’ve sent troops to the Mexican border and are going to close the border with ‘beautiful razor wire’, something a wall was supposed to have done by this time. If you do close the southern border, you'd better close the northern one, to prevent your citizens from escaping to Canada, in the same manner as your ‘lover’ Kim Jong Un’s citizens escape to South Korea.

And now, astonishingly Don, you are blaming the Democrats for setting fire to California. Are you serious?

At last you are going to California to inspect the destruction that the wildfires have left. Unfortunately you’ll be too late for your urinations to have any effect, as it looks as if there will still be over 1,000 citizens missing.

Keep acting the way you’re acting just now Pres, and you won’t have to worry about your supposed caravan of immigrants. You’ll soon have them so terrified that they’ll stay in Mexico. In fact, if they have any sense they’ll stay in Mexico and start building a wall - a wall of razor wire, perhaps between Mexico and America, in order to protect themselves?

What could be next? Oh, of course, France! How dare they have a different point of view from you. They sound just as arrogant as Jim Acosta. What on earth are you going to do now that the judge has ruled in Jim’s favor?

Is it possible for you to deport CNN?