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Twenty Ways To Get Out Of A Date

Updated on March 7, 2015
favorite oouu poo pe doo artist
favorite oouu poo pe doo artist

Good Comebacks To Get Out Of A Date


  • Oh, I can’t tonight, I have to remove my shoulder pads to use for squirrel pillows.
  • It’s belly button lint cleaning night.
  • It’s succubus night. I think that means I must find a bus to suck.
  • It’s my bad hair day. I have to go buy some.
  • What? You didn’t know I was gay?
  • What? Didn’t you hear I was celibate?
  • What? Didn’t you know I’m really a man?
  • You want to do what to my what?
  • I have one opening in my black book; 3 days after dying, you can dance on my grave but let’s not rush it.
  • I have a job interview with God tomorrow; it’s all off the cuff and my notes are scattered everywhere.
  • You are an interesting character, but I’m into boring guys these days.
  • I have to attend a seminar where they teach us how to grow an arm.
  • I need to research boob jacks tonight.
  • What about your wife? Is she coming too?
  • I can’t go out with you. Your boobs look better than mine.
  • How long ago was it that you took that picture you sent me?
  • All those word photos I took of you…turned out to be disappearing ink I was using.
  • I’m so glad I met you…because of your best friend.
  • Don’t feel bad. I’m sure we can come up with some lyrics about this and sell them.
  • I’d go out with you, but I’m worried about your security guard. I think he likes me.


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