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Vacant Excitement

Updated on September 25, 2014

I pray that my karma
doesn't catch up with me.
I don't rest cause it promised
to grab me from my sleep.
I’ve got a reoccurring daydream.
In fact, I’m haunted by the sunlight.
I’ve got a smile on my face. Why?
I’m still too fucking pretty to cry.

I’m tortured in the brain,
cut at my heart's strings.
Why did I do them that way?
Why did I let them
fall for my game?

It’s lame.
When someone loves you,
why play?
Why push love away?

Well, the truth is hard to swallow.
I don’t choke.
I move swiftly
dressed in all black,
never blue.
I don't sing the blues.
I don’t look good in those hues.
No, I haven’t worn it since…

Since, since, since
my heart was broken from
playing by the rules.
It's all about you, you, you,
Mr. Cruel.

In your freedom rests my truth,
safely kept between me and you.
I’m too embarrassed to admit
how hard I fell for you.
You are too busy trying to seem likeable, Mr. Cruel.
You don't want them seeing what you broke.
Nope, let's not expose
the devil you call your soul.

Hold me dear, just hold on.
Don't let the last of my innocence
slip from your fingertips cause all hope's gone.
I just don't wanna burn anymore.

I’ll always love you, Mr. Cruel.

I feel like my karma is catching up to me.
Me: Miss Soft, Loving and Sweet.
Wait, that was the old me.

Me: I’m Miss Jaded, Frustrated
and Elated to see the pressure
I threw him under cause breakage.
If only you could be my victim, Mr. Cruel.
Damn, you can't be.
You outsmarted me,
but see, I gave you the real me.
No other man can ever keep me,
drive me crazy.
I’m driven.

When a heart is broken
and put back together
there are always pieces missing.
I’ve made decisions about moving forward,
but in the end I don't believe in love anymore.
I followed my heart a million times before,
but I’ve be destroyed.
My belief system
is a fucking void.

Let my karma catch up with me.
I’m sick of missing sleep
and I no longer wish
to play the victim.

I wanna be free like you, Mr. Cruel.

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    • Ryem profile image
      Author

      Ryem 3 years ago from Maryland

      Thnx, friend.

    • PHILLYDREAMER profile image

      Jose Velasquez 3 years ago from Lodi, New Jersey

      You're still sweet and once you get past the darkness you'll love again more intensely than before.

    • Ryem profile image
      Author

      Ryem 3 years ago from Maryland

      Thank you!!

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 3 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Beautiful, intense, great poem!

    • Ryem profile image
      Author

      Ryem 3 years ago from Maryland

      Thank you everyone! Bambi, I'll also check out some of your stuff :)

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      I always look forward to your next poem Ryem, you never disappoint. Great stuff.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Wow... beautifully done. The raw emotion is almost palpable, the poem is powerful. Loved it.

    • Bambi L'Amour profile image

      Chris Von Bliss 3 years ago from Brighton, UK

      Have a look at my hubs, they may interest you =)

    • Ryem profile image
      Author

      Ryem 3 years ago from Maryland

      Thank you, Bambi!

    • Bambi L'Amour profile image

      Chris Von Bliss 3 years ago from Brighton, UK

      This was lovely, beautiful decay you might say :)

    • Ryem profile image
      Author

      Ryem 3 years ago from Maryland

      Thank you, Bill! I'm happy to be back at it :)

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      It's good to see something new from you....darkly beautiful once again.