ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Vampires: Why We Love Them When They Suck So Much

Updated on September 5, 2016

Vampires Are Not Fun People

As much as you think that vampires are good for something, like hickeys, well. Think again. Vampires, although fictional, are the bad guys.

Some people think a good vampire movie is a good thing. Well. There are a few things about a vampire movie that are mesmerizing. There is always a good guy that happens on the scene and doesn't know that he is the chosen vampire killer.

People Are Always Breathless

If you want to be in a vampire movie, you need to be a good panter. Heavy, labored breathing from all the running you do is required.

The vampire movie that is on, on our television right now, has heavy metal music playing. There are very muscular men that are the good guys. There are pouting females that have very tight, revealing tank tops and hardly any body fat.

There are bad guys wearing Zorro hats and sporting fangs in their front teeth. Beware of them.

And Another Thing

Why are the women, who have been involved in the scenes oblivious to the danger they are in. The girls were tied to roof rafters and the one was laying on a table. Apparently, the scene where the man was sitting in a chair with strange clamps on his head wasn't enough for us.

The good guy went in, blasted all the bad guys and then, the man who was being tortured in the chair, calmly explains to him that the one eyed woman, used to be his woman before she turned into some queen bee of vampires. The rest of them, just followers.

The Movie is Dark

Gunfire constantly. I have not seen anyone reloading their machine guns.

Oh, now there are motorcycles crashing and fire. Yelling. Headlights. Semi trucks chasing motorcycles down the highway.

A convertible car with a vampire and a, too calm, woman riding. There is another woman driving the semi. A man with a machine gun and he's shooting motorcycles right and left like a bad video game.

They just showed the car. The hood is absolutely riddled with bullet holes. Now, there are racing noises and squealing of tires. Smashing noises.The woman in the semi is hurt. The good guy touches her cheek and she instantly feels better.

Wow. It's quiet now, except for heavy breathing. Sparks.

Oh, oh. A car is racing toward them. The good guy draws his sword. Is he out of bullets.

Now, all you hear is swords clanking and a lot of grunting.

They are Walking Away

The scene is quiet.

Now, a narrator intones some blurb about walking away from the scene and forgetting it.

And. You guessed it. Here come the final credits.

Improving It

How could you possibly improve on it. Oh, and the movie that I was listening to was called "The Bleeding."


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)