Vegans Found To Be Mentally Unstable

I was reading about veganism when I discovered something everyone seems to be overlooking. Is it just me, or are vegans freaking nuts? How often are you at a party and you overhear:

Oh, I'm vegan.

That kind of smug pretentiousness only comes from the most sociopoathic hipsters.

I found this website here which pretty much PROVES that vegans are mentally unstable, and I'm going to break it down for ya.

This is the article I'm linking just for source. I don't advise reading it as I'm going to put a lot of it down below with annotations.

Rising happiness means you can never truly be satisfied. In psychology, we call this the Hedonic Treadmill. As your happiness goes up, so do your expectations, and thus you never achieve true happiness.

As Nicola has never been happier, she will soon end up back on the treadmill looking to become happier again, as her expectations have now risen. This is unhealthy and will ultimately cause a major letdown.

This sounds like a good thing at first, but will eventually just lead to anxiety and stress. Think about all the things that stress you out in a given day. Don't worry, this article will be here when you finish having a panic attack.

That was rough, huh? Now imagine if, on top of all of that, you had all the things you never used to bother thinking of. That's terrible! You would probably have a heart attack or something. You would have a panic attack so intense that you would hyperventilate right out the window.

A dog would eat you.

You shouldn't want to be aware of the things happening around the world. The world is a scary place. Do you watch the news? There's never good news. Everything on the news is tragedy after tragedy. I'm going to go to CNN.com right now and see what the top 5 headlines are:

Bloodiest day since the revolution

Former 'Bachelor' contestant dies

2 killed in UPS plane crash

Police truck pushed off bridge

Mom's desperate text to dead child

Wow, hold on a minute while I go cry myself into a coma. That's depressing. Go look at the dates...all the same day. I'm not joking and that's why I linked to each article. That's messed up. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE OF THESE THINGS?! Mentally unstable people like to revel in the misery of others, and if you're not depressed after those 5 articles you are a heartless sociopath.

That's called depression, and Kerry here now suffers from it, thanks to his or her new vegan lifestyle.

Ignorance is bliss and knowing the truth will do nothing but upset you more. Do you want to live an unhappy life? Who cares if you're healthy when you're depressed and don't even get out of bed because you now know the world is a terrible place. And you live in it.

Thanks, Obama.

The fact that Elizabeth even submitted this to a page that's supposed to convince people to go vegan goes to show that she's mentally unstable.

Seriously what a debbie downer. Negative marketing is not good marketing.

...and is now in jail for bestiality.

Seriously Gary why would you admit this on a public internet website? You trying to get your friends and family to think weird of you? You're eating vegetables not communing with another species.

Next, you're going to start dressing up as a wolf-human-thing and start attending Furry conventions.

I actually believe this is a typo. I think Leah meant "steak".

Oh, but the rest of the sentence speaks for its self. Mentally agitated? Sounds horrible. Who would want to live like that?

Bacon is good; porkchops are good.