Virus Man

I looked out my car window and there he was, walking along outside the supermarket and spitting on trolleys. That man, that virus man was so awful. I pulled out my smartest phone and began to video the wicked human spreading his flu like disease all over. I then sat inside my Oldsmobile and called the supermarket and spoke to the manager. I told her that the Virus man was spreading his infectious disease by spitting on the trolleys. She quickly called the police and I sat there waiting for them to arrive. The Virus man took his sweet time walking along the corner where all the trolleys were parked and spitting on each as he passed. Then I heard a platore of sirens wailing like a mother giving birth to a sumo baby.

The Cops came down on him like a man of color. “Hey! Stop walking now! Stay the hell where you are!” The police commanded. But the Virus man kept on walking and spitting as though his mind was remotely plugged into a 5G Wireless device. “Virus man. This is your second warning or we will be forced to take action. Stop spitting on the trolleys, stand still and raise your hands above your balled head.” The Virus man looked at the cops and gave a ghoulish grin and continued on his mission of contagion. Then all of a sudden he stopped, straightened up and began to shake rapidly like his controller had sent a bad signal through the 5G Wireless.

The cops began to look at each other wondering what the heck was transpiring in front of their insightful justice eyes. The Virus man began to actually shake so hard it began to look as though he was rapidly vibrating. He began to make a hellish howl as his body vibrated. “Gehawwnst! Gehawwnst!” I looked into my rear view mirror sitting in my car to see if anyone was parked behind as I was anticipating a herd of demons to come up from the pits of hell anytime now to rescue their spitting brother, and I definitely was not going to sit around and get caught in that paranormal activity. The Virus man turned around and started moving erratically towards to cops. The police officers then positioned themselves in a defensive mode. They drew their guns and took cover behind their car doors open that the spit could not reach them.

The Virus man than spat in his hand and began to throw the mucus at the cops. The mucus was dark yellow and the virus in the mucus was screaming for flesh. HE through one dose about 20 feet and it landed on of the policeman’s vest. Immediately the officer fell to the floor and began to sweat as the virus penetrated his vest and seeped into his flesh. The officer then started to vibrate heavily on the floor and began to make the same hellish howl. “Gehawwnst! Gehawwnst!”

“Officer Jones! Officer Jones! What the kangaroo tail is wrong with you? Are you infected?” Asked the dumb cop. Officer Jones then flew up to his feet like a weaner. “I...I....I want to infect your stinking rotten dirty soul.” Officer Jones then spat mucus on the dumb cop infecting him. The rest of the police were scared buy they knew they had to put an end to the infection. They immediately began to open fire hitting the Virus man and then shooting their two infected colleagues. They fired around a hundred rounds of ammo just to make sure the the contagion had been contained.

In no time, a hungry hyena load of news reporters had smelled death and rolled in like a pack of vultures. Then one of the younger cockier cops who wanted the bright light on him ran up to the reporters. “Hey, what happened here?” asked the vulture...I mean the reporter. “Well, there was a Corona outbreak and we had to take care of the problem before it spread. As hard as it was, I even had to take down two of our very own comrades just to contain this infection.” Boasted the young cop. “But as I look at the ground it looks like a war zone out here with so much shells. Was all this firepower needed?”

“Mam...when you are fighting the devil you have to be prepared and bring all the power you got. We saw a big problem and we handled it the right way.” Said the young cop. Then a black van drove up with an colorful umbrella painted on both sides. Four men exited the van attired in bio-hazard suits. They then removed the bodies and drove off. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. It was almost like a zombie movie. The contagion was real and I was not about to become a statistic. I drove home that day, packed my bags and boarded a flight to the Antarctica.