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Updated on June 15, 2015

What a woman can do to her parents?

Women living in India are more influenced by Indian cultures. For instance joint family system is a Hindu norm, but in Islam it's mostly preferred, not to be in a joint family, because of many reasons which can go against the teachings of Islam and plus the rules and regulations made on a women to visit her parents house.
Many women are in dilemma when it comes to full filling the needs and demands of husband and parents together in certain situations.
So what should a woman do in such situations?.

When it comes to parents both male and female child have same obligations.
The most important factor to remember is to obey parents and not to mention even the simple expression of "UFF" to them. Where as when it comes to financial support the main responsibility is on male child, because women are not forced to work, its their wish to work or not to work. If they decide to work then it should be under Islamic rules and regulations ( I.e hijab and separate working environment for men and women).
Before marriage it's the duty of father and brother's to take care of her and her financial needs and after marriage it's the duty of her husband and son's. But in case if there is no male child in the family. Then it's the duty of their female child/children to take care of their parents financial needs if required or in an emergency/requirement one can always give their dowry to parents. A woman working after marriage has a clause a big clause non the less. That is the permission of husband If husband is understanding and says yes then no problem, however this doesn't give the reason for working women to neglect the needs of husband and children. If husband doesn't want his wife to work then one got no other choice but to obey husband and have patience or try to convince him.
Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a woman who got married, and was no longer under her parents’ care. Which is better – honouring her parents or obeying her husband?
He replied: When a woman gets married, her husband has more authority over her than her parents, and obeying her husband is more obligatory for her (majmoo al-fatwa 32/361)

Generally women are high in E.Q and they can be very good in giving Emotional support to parents than a male child.
Allah says " And he whom We grant long life -- We reverse him in creation. Will they not then understand?" (36:68).
The above Ayah means that Allah The All Mighty has created us in a weak state (new born) then gave us understanding and strength and then again in old age Allah the most High reverses the person, and he becomes weak again and senile(childlike) in old age.
Children when they are small they are a test to parents (I.e taking care and bringing them up in Islamic manner) & when parents grow old they are a test to their children.
Parents may be stubborn and irrational at times or just in a grumpy mood or trying to get your attention. At such times one should be patient and treat them with love and care like they did to us when we were kids.
Mother's have 3 times the more rights of your good behaviour than your father, but it doesn't mean you can be rude to your father. Remember if mother is the key to paradise then father is the door for that key, without one the other is useless.

Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

As a good daughter you should correct them polity if they make any mistake. When we were kids they stopped us from sins. Gave us education and brought us up in Islamic manner. In old age they act like kids, so now it's your turn to do the same for them. (Al-Tirmidhi 4941 )


Supplication is a strong weapon. Supplicate for them as much as you can. It can save you and your parents from the fire of Hell.
"My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small."
[ 17 : 24 ]

Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established." [Ibrahim: 41]

Never be undutiful to your parents.

Narrated by Abu Bakra
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the Great Sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (saws)!" He (saws) said, "To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents." (Al-Bukhari)

Make use of your parents to earn your paradise by serving them instead of regretting later on after their death.
Narrated by Abu Hurayrah Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘Let him be humbled into dust! Let him be humbled into dust!’ It was said: ‘O Allah's Messenger (saws), who is he?’ He (saws) said: ‘He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (through his deeds of service towards them)!’
After the death of a person there are only 3 types of deeds which will benefit him.
And one of them is the sincere supplication done by the children to his/her parents.
If Allah has given enough financial strength then do something for your parents Like digging a well in their name, building mosque or even just buying a mat, tube lights or fans for mosque. ( Muslim)

“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.”[17: 23]
Be thankful to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination."[31:14]
Allah has joined his Oneness with obedience towards parents.
It is one of the major sins. The punishment for this sin is not in this world like for a person who commits fornication after marriage is killed by throwing stones at him/her or beheading when one commits murder, but the punishment for disobeying parents is in the hear after when one meets Allah The Lord All Mighty. Hence Allah says it as a warning in the verse ( 31:14) that unto Him is our final destination.

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