Caution: Laughter Ahead
World’s Funniest One Liners
I recently came across a little pamphlet titled “101 of the World’s Funniest One Liners." It is published by “Living Waters Publications,” www.livingwaters.com
It was a riot. I would like to share a few I found particularly amusing.
- · Borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect it back.
- · I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
- · No one is listening until you make a mistake.
- · Campers: Natures way of feeding mosquitoes.
- · I started out with nothing and still have most of it.
- · Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
- · Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.
- · Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
More One Liners
- · Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- · If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving.
- · If everything is coming your way, then you’re in the wrong lane.
- · Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- · Ask me about my vow of silence.
- · I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
- · Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?
- · We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
- · Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
- · On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- · 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- · Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
- · Few women admit their age; few men act it.
- · IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
- · I wonder how much deeper the oceans would be without sponges.
- · Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
I hope you enjoyed these as much as I did.