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Wakeful-a poem

Updated on February 27, 2013

Smoke lingers on the lips, fingertips still
Thunder rattles her core
The patter of raindrops fail to splash away the
pain lathered over her every hope.
Croaks and scratches of critters outside the window
rumba to a tune she recognizes__
one overflowing with want and sorrow.
Her attempts to feel a heartbeat are in vain,
convincing her it no longer works.
Blinking digits of the clock taunt her wide open eyes that
refuse to relent to the sweet relief of slumber.
The train howls, mimicking her tormented soul.
If only she could forget them,
and let life continue
As she tosses, each turn wields a memory
of a different lost love
happiness not forgotten
but long ago extinguished.
A sacrifice willingly made
for a better chance
with something warmer to wrap around her
that won't leave her with nights like this.


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    • Max Havlick profile image

      Max Havlick 4 years ago from Villa Park, Illinois



      Dear Amy, Woman Warrior known by all to slay a few,

      to say to you, "My pleasure!" cannot ever say to you

      how glad I am to realize that I am me and you are you.

      Your complimenting worlds that come to me while I'm asleep

      stay here on printed worlds for all the world at large to keep

      and show there is another brother world for those who weep

      amidst the screeching, howling trains that never seem to sleep,

      the blinking digits on the clock that taunt their weary eyes.

      the insect taunts of pain and sorrow they can recognize

      from their extinguished, unforgotten love's demise.

      If I with Amy had all day and nothing more to do,

      we would paint thousands more poetic worlds to you,

      and still not give the fullest presence of our love for you

      as much as someday, somewhere seeing every one of you,

      but meanwhile, we give you these worlds, the best that we can do.

      From Max to Amy (huey19) (with her help),

      and to all who suffer the awful pains of which she writes,

      Saturday, August 10, 2013 at 11 a.m. USA Central

    • Huey19 profile image

      Amy 4 years ago from Chicago

      ocfireflies, glad you felt the subtle rattles as you read. happy to have your comment and pleased you enjoyed it. thank you for stopping by.

      Max, I am always thrilled to read your praise and feedback anywhere. I realize i need to spend some time reworking some of these pieces because i know they can be better. I've quite lost my groove for a while now and have been caught up with reading rather than writing. Hoping to get back into it so i can produce something worthy of your praise. Thank you as always for your words of wisdom :-)

    • ocfireflies profile image

      ocfireflies 4 years ago from North Carolina

      Nicely executed. The word choice works so well with the theme of the poem. You made me feel the "tremble." Voted up.

    • Max Havlick profile image

      Max Havlick 4 years ago from Villa Park, Illinois

      This work shows enormous skill and potential. If your experience continues to teach you greater understanding of the enormous difficulties involved in realizing one's deepest yearnings and idealisms in the real world, you have the potential to write great poetry.


    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Wow. Drew me in. Beautiful!

    • James-wolve profile image

      Tijani Achamlal 4 years ago from Morocco

      Awesome and a thought provoking poem.I voted up.