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"Wasted Life"

Updated on July 8, 2010

Open Your Eyez...

She Dreamz;
All Day, All Night,
Dreaming of the Wasted Life,
The Life that could have Been
If only she had Awakened 
If only she would have Done 
 this or done that,
If only...
Living in a World where
 Nothing iz Right,
Nothing iz Fair,
She Scratchez at her Face in 
Now she'z Older and wantz it
She'z reaching out for the 
 Life she haz Longed forever 
 to Hold...
Will she finally Open her Eyez???

An Explaination:

It'z alwayz already there!!! :) 

I can tell you that based on first hand experience...I wrote this 
poem just after a Metallica/Godsmack concert in Philadephia,

I was at a very low point in my Life...Had a boyfriend who waz 
very abusive in every Way possible...My self-esteem, because of 
all of the abuse, waz at an all time low. Looking back at my Life 
iz all that I really had to do; because I wazn't allowed outside 
of the house unless he decided to let me get some Sunshine and 
took me Out Somewhere. So, the only Life that I had waz my Past..
Looking back, into some of the other dark timez in my Past, I 
found that I waz still carrying the heavy Burdenz of that Pain...
This Dark Time waz just another affirmative that I waz letting 
other people ruin my Life.

During this down Time, when I went Deep within my Self, I found 
that I had the Power to Control what other people bestow on me. I 
have a Choice to accept what they are offering, or tell them what 
they can do with themselvez...Since that Time, I have Chosen the 
latter...No one givez me what I don't want. I don't care if I 
have to fight them tooth and nail; and by defeating them, I have 
to go to Jail...I don't care...This iz my 
Life and I have had ENOUGH!!!

"Fully Evolved"

I sit here,
Feeling all otherz' pain az my own...
I seem immune to my own anguish;
Hurt by otherz' hurtz,
Scarred by otherz' scarz...

I feel their deathz,
Az if they were my own;
My heart ripped out,
Az if it liez on the floor...

Why can't I forget???
Why do I have to feel all of this???
Why must I alwayz sacrifice myself for the sakez of otherz???
I can't turn it off.

Fully evolved;
This life,
My last;
Here to go out with a Big Bang,
To make some spectacular mark on mankind...

What iz it this "gift" iz to be uzed for???

There must be an answer...
Hiding somewhere deep, deep within.

Gift or Curse???

Those that don't have the "curse" always believe it to be a "gift" for some reason...

In reality, the "gift" many times becomes the root of the gifted's insanity. Therefore, until we learn to control it and our minds, we often consider it a curse. When you aren't trained to handle the gift's affects, life can get crazy, scary and harsh. Imagine, for instance, going into a crowded gymnasium full of noisy people with the gifts of mind reading and feeling emotions in energy fields. If you don't know how to turn it off in these situations, you will go completely nuts!!!

In this situation, you have to either become a hermit or learn to turn it off when you don't need it... Not an easy lesson and nothing works for everyone. However, you can try a few things that I have found to work for me.

Anything to do with nature and the earth like gardening, nature walks, hiking, etc. are good for maintaining your ground. Expression of your emotions through the arts are always good. Then there is the usual meditation, yoga, etc. that may also work for you. Experiment with things that relax you, allowing your mind to settle and focus and then breathe!!!

Good luck on your journey and as always, enjoy!!!

Love & Light,

Windy Grace <3


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    • VAMPGYRL420 profile image

      Windy Grace Mason 8 years ago from The Eastern Shore of Virginia, Maryland and Delaware, U.S.A.

      Thank you, hotspur ;) I am generally a very soft, compassionate person; but I have learned the hard way that some people take advantage of that...So now, I'm a little rough around the edgez when I have to be. I don't like it; but it'z better than ever having to feel that way again!!!

    • hotspur profile image

      hotspur 8 years ago from England

      You are the tigrez. Own the jungle!