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What I Am Is Who I Am

Updated on January 14, 2017
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Who I Was and Who I Still Am

I’ve always felt the desire

to run away.


That young muted child

lives inside my soul,

still broken, lost, and all alone.


I was never that lucky girl

with a big group of friends,

much more of a loner whom

no one could understand.


Time does change you in

many ways, even so, you know

yourself; you are still the same.


I’m still dark but with a

shining light...


my negative aura still

floats around, but somehow it’s

found a positive frown.


I used to hate myself.

I felt so confused.


It always seemed there was

a million and one roads to take

yet my view was never clear

on which to choose.

Source

A Destined Lonely Path

As I have since traveled

many of those roads,

I’ve discovered, I guess,

I’m just destined to roam alone.


Without a plan or a reason

following my heart without

rhyme or treason.


I think back to all my

struggles and sadness,

and strangely now know I

would have been unhappy

without them.


To be by myself has taught

me a lot, I don’t feel burdened

by all the unnecessary stuff.


I see contentment with worry

as a fault, I can’t tell where anyone

who has this is better off.


As for me, I see everything.

I can see beauty In each

living spring.


And In a child who I see

that’s just like me;

I would say don’t give up.


You are destined to be free,

free from judgments of this

ugly breed.

Angels follow me

A Unique View of Who I Am

After all, the ones who are

lost on this earth cower to

the rules of what others before

them have suffered and sought.


It took me a while to see my gift...


God has given me pleasure

from pain and the somberness of

loneliness to fight through the rain.


A real gift of observance

that tells me the truth...


My eyes can see through the

costumes of characters,

who try so hard to hold it all

together.


Compassion I have for

everyone now, even the ones

who have wronged me

somehow.


Nevertheless, I am so very tired...



My fear of death has changed

into a wanting to float away

along those streets of gold, with finally

no direction for me to follow.



Stay Gold

© 2015 Missy Smith

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    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 23 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Missy, this is a darkly sad but beautiful poem all the same. You express your inner thoughts wonderfully. I too was shy and very much a loner as a child, and now as an adult I do still cherish my alone time. You learn to live with it, or have to force yourself from your comfort zone. You are a good poet and write from the heart. Great that you shared your own photos too..beautiful. Voted up and sharing. I'll get you more viewers :)

    • Missy Smith profile image
      Author

      Missy Smith 23 months ago from Florida

      Thank you so much Jodah! I am thrilled that you like my work. I'm really new at poetry and have been a little skeptical about posting my work. You just renewed my faith. Thanks again!

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 23 months ago from Queensland Australia

      My pleasure to help Missy. Young writers, especially poets need all the encouragement they can get. It is my aim to try to make poetry a popular writing form again like it once was. Keep up the good work.

    • old albion profile image

      Graham Lee 23 months ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Missy. This is an absolute delight so very deep and heart felt. You seek and perhaps have found what we all seek in life, it is not wealth or fame such shallow desires are worthless. As time passes we realise that we need Peace of Mind.

      Voted up and all.

      Graham.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton

      love the strong emotional pull here in these words voted up

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 23 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. Really love your poetry and how creatively you tell about yourself. Enjoyed.

    • RobinGrosswirth23 profile image

      Robin Grosswirth 23 months ago from New York

      "a positive frown," without rhyme or treason"

      very interesting wedding of concepts.

      Some of the best writers and artists in the world have been deeply sensitive beings. It is how we connect with the world at large and carry on our craft. Another great read. I am a fan!

    • Missy Smith profile image
      Author

      Missy Smith 23 months ago from Florida

      So very pleased you enjoy my writing. Thanks Robin!

    • Missy Smith profile image
      Author

      Missy Smith 23 months ago from Florida

      I would also like to thank old albion, Frank Atanacio, and Gypsy Rose Lee, for the wonderful praise for my poetry. This makes my day to read that others appreciate the heart and soul I put into my words, and then actually get the meaning of them. I am very humbled and honored. Thank you so much. :)

    • Oscarlites profile image

      Oscar Jones 23 months ago from Alabama

      Hi, This poem makes me think of the journey from where I was to where I am now. Somehow we wouldn't have made it here without facing the lights, the dark lights and even the shadows. But I learned, even the shadows prove something is there. the shadows may be illusive, but the source of the shadow is something more. Good hub! Thanks, Missy!

    • Missy Smith profile image
      Author

      Missy Smith 23 months ago from Florida

      Hello Oscarlites. Yes, you felt through my words, the exact message I was trying to convey. I thank you for taking the time to comment. It means so much to me.

    • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

      Jo_Goldsmith11 23 months ago

      Excellent writing!

      And you used every word to describe so many who you have beautifully captured.

      The words you used fit so perfectly and your heart shines through.

      The strength is palpable! You, my dear have a guardian angel.

      Blessings are on it's way! :-)

      Shared, up= Beautiful, useful, awesome, interesting

    • Missy Smith profile image
      Author

      Missy Smith 23 months ago from Florida

      Thank you so much Jo. I'm not kidding. I'm crying right now your words meant that much to me. You're right; I do have a few guardian angels, and I can't wait to see them again one day. Thank you for your beautiful words to me. You, yourself, are an angel here on earth.

    • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

      Jo_Goldsmith11 23 months ago

      Well, I made some brownies. So I will send some over. You my dear, grab the milk. We will put Mrs. Doubt fire in the CD player.

      And we both can have a good cry! Sometimes the tears help to wash

      the it see bitsy spider! :-)) hugs! (((((((((((((( Missy ))))))))))))))))

    • Missy Smith profile image
      Author

      Missy Smith 23 months ago from Florida

      That sounds delightful Jo. I would love that. :):):):)

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 22 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Missy.....Your lovely disclosure has deeply moved me. I could not help but be struck by the diametric opposition of our lives......

      I have longed for and struggled toward embracing my solitude and independent life of calm and sweet serenity.

      My life was filled at all times, with people & friends ...family & activities. Work and school, career and rules to follow.....

      I knew that when I had my choice...when I had control I would run to my private world and my little corner I longed for ..for so long.

      When my last son left the nest......I did just that. I'm in Heaven on earth.

      A strange, contrary way to connect us, but somehow I feel it does.......Just awesome UP++++ pinned. Peace, Paula

    • Missy Smith profile image
      Author

      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      Thanks so much Paula. I feel really blessed to have found someone who identifies with my loner side. It's been a hard thing to overcome at times. Life makes you become an adult when you have children, so being extroverted sometimes is inevitable. I'm not the best at it, but I've learned enough for the sake of my children. Thank you for sharing your story with me... many blessings! Missy ;)

    • Vandana Patel profile image

      Vandana Patel 22 months ago from India

      Hii Missy,

      A beautiful poem.I loved it.

    • Missy Smith profile image
      Author

      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      I'm so glad you liked it Vandana. :)

    • vasantha  T k profile image

      vasantha T k 22 months ago from Bangalore

      Missy Smith, you are blessed with two lovely children, make yourself happy and fill the days with positiveness, hopes and joys. There are less fortunate than us, think of goodness and read uplifting books truly it's helps! Make life lovely, with good wishes ! Lovely poem and the pictures! Add smile to it and giggle.

    • Missy Smith profile image
      Author

      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      Thanks vasantha.

    • swalia profile image

      Shaloo Walia 22 months ago

      Loved it...I could relate to it at so many levels. Life is a roller coaster ride, for sure. Ups and downs are a part of living but smiling through the ups and downs is the art of living.

    • Missy Smith profile image
      Author

      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      That's a great way to look at life Swalia. Thanks for reading my poem. :)

    • Dana Tate profile image

      Dana Tate 22 months ago from LOS ANGELES

      This poem described me in so many ways. Who I was and who I am.

    • Missy Smith profile image
      Author

      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      I'm so glad you can identify with my poetry Dana. Thank you so much! :)

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 22 months ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      It's always liberating to accept who you are. I've questioned myself many times on that until I've learnt to become the archaeologist of my own self.

      I dare you to dig more and find out the joy of knowing your inner truths.

      Good write.

    • Missy Smith profile image
      Author

      Missy Smith 22 months ago from Florida

      You are so right CrisSp. I love the way you put it as you are an archaeologist to your own self. I think I relate to that. I get to know myself better everyday. I do like myself, for the most part. However, there are things I feel I should change, not to make anyone else happy, but to make myself happy. :)

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