What I Am Is Who I Am

I’ve always felt the desire

to run away.

That young muted child

lives inside my soul,

still broken, lost, and all alone.

I was never that lucky girl

with a big group of friends,

much more of a loner whom

no one could understand.

Time does change you in

many ways, even so, you know

yourself; you are still the same.

I’m still dark but with a

shining light...

my negative aura still

floats around, but somehow it’s

found a positive frown.

I used to hate myself.

I felt so confused.

It always seemed there was

a million and one roads to take

yet my view was never clear

on which to choose.

As I have since traveled

many of those roads,

I’ve discovered, I guess,

I’m just destined to roam alone.

Without a plan or a reason

following my heart without

rhyme or treason.

I think back to all my

struggles and sadness,

and strangely now know I

would have been unhappy

without them.

To be by myself has taught

me a lot, I don’t feel burdened

by all the unnecessary stuff.

I see contentment with worry

as a fault, I can’t tell where anyone

who has this is better off.

As for me, I see everything.

I can see beauty In each

living spring.

And In a child who I see

that’s just like me;

I would say don’t give up.

You are destined to be free,

free from judgments of this

ugly breed.

After all, the ones who are

lost on this earth cower to

the rules of what others before

them have suffered and sought.

It took me a while to see my gift...

God has given me pleasure

from pain and the somberness of

loneliness to fight through the rain.

A real gift of observance

that tells me the truth...

My eyes can see through the

costumes of characters,

who try so hard to hold it all

together.

Compassion I have for

everyone now, even the ones

who have wronged me

somehow.

Nevertheless, I am so very tired...

My fear of death has changed

into a wanting to float away

along those streets of gold, with finally

no direction for me to follow.