What tribe is love

Some say that true love is hard to find, some say that the new generation ladies are just about material gains. A lot of people believe that true love is easy to find and they debunk the insinuation that men of nowadays are not as faithful as their fathers. Well, no matter where you find yourself, the truth is that true love is very easy to find. In fact it is one of the easiest things that happen in our lives. You don't have to generalize humans simply because your boy friend dumpped you, you now take all men as the same or just because your girl friend cheated on you, you now classify all women the same.

We are all humans but we don't think alike and we don't act alike.

There is no tribe or race that loves more or cares more. A good example of this could be seen in this picture; Etim was abandoned by his mother because he was believed to be a witch (according to their tradition). Onyedika picked up Etim from the street and took him home then started training and caring for him. Onyedika in this picture is from a different tribe while Etim is from another tribe. What we see in this picture is an act of humanity. Apply this act of humanity to how we relate with each other and you will agree with me that true love is very easy to find.

The couple in this picture hails from two different tribes in Nigeria. One from the Eastern part of the country and the other from the Western part of the country.

Why is interethnic marriage one of the difficult things in Nigeria?

Interethnic marriage is frowned at in Nigeria and no matter how we try to hide this, it is evident in our lives, should I say that this is caused because of cultural pride or the belief that one tribe lacks the needed ingredient to be good lovers? From my own point of view, I do not agree that a particular tribe cares more than the others. Someone once told me that Igbo men are better lovers than Yorubas and someone again said that Calabar men are better lovers. My argument is this...

These men married their wives and they have their families and take care of their kids respectively so what makes one better than the other?

The same thing comes into play in women. Yoruba girls don't make good wives. Igbo girls are better wives. Hausa girls are more faithful. Calabar girls are highly skilful. A lot of insinuation about people of different backgrounds and as far as I am concerned, we are all different people with different sense of humour. Take a look at this picture. Nkechi reads the story book for her kids every night before they sleep; automatically she is a good and caring mother. I read the Bible to my wife every night before we sleep and I read a particular piece for her. Songs of Solomon. Isn't this romantic?

We all express our feelings in different ways and generally, men are not the same. Some of us are creatively romantic while some are indigently romantic but that doesn't mean that we don't all care. We do! Therefore, true love can be found anywhere and it's so easy to come by but you see the problem why it looks shaddy finding it is because of our insticnts and to worsen it, our desires. There is no way one can be what he or she isn't meant to be but the desire to be what we are not is the root of the pains we go through in our relationships and marriages and is the reason why some of us see men from a particular tribe as stingy or careless.

Haven't you heard that he who made them, made them man and woman and for this reason a man should leave his father and mother and clave unto his wife and the two shall no longer be two but one. The very moment we find this in a person then we will begin to fly without wings and this person can come from anywhere and can be anybody.

" He is not a lover who does not love forever"
"Love must be as much as a light as it is a flame"
"The best thing to hold unto in life is each other"
"There is only one happiness in this life; to love and be loved"
" That assurance buddy says more about us than history itself"
"And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars"

It was one of those days in the campus, Ifenna recalled...

I was actually heading to the hostel when I saw her at the bus stop, and the rain that day was terrible so seeing me under the rain, she offered me a space under her small umbrella, at first I wanted to object but on a quick second thought, I found myself under the umbrella but before we both could even realize that the road was already floaded, we were both soaked, I remember Fumi boasting out laughing then she said that we were both soaked and there was no need for the umbrella...

- Do you think so?
- Yea what's the essence when we are already soaked, the umbrella is useless right now
- Alright, its my fault, you are soaked because of me, the umbrella is pretty small for two
- No, its okay for two but the rain is heavy that's why
- Why don't you just shed yourself while the rain beat me, I mean your hair besides you are a lady
- Are you concerned about my hair?
- I know that ladies don't usually allow water to touch their hair except when they want to thoroughly wash it
-Well, we both either stay under the rain or you hold the umbrella because my hands are already aching

The moment we switched that umbrella became the most important day of my life because I mean, we both looked at each other and smiled. A simple smile can go a long way into perfecting a situation and that smile was just all we needed because it allowed me to feel a part of this stranger, a young girl who is caring. You hardly see people like this babe I said to myself. I took a good look at her and her already soaked gown revealed her structure...

- What is your name
- My name is Fumilayo Ogundapo
- A pleasure meeting you, I am Ifenna Okeke, you don't sound Yoruba
- Well, I am a pure Yoruba girl from this state but how does Yorubas sound
- We all have our accents, and most times we known each other's tribe when we talk
- So what tribe are you from because you sound British

We both boasted out at that and I was like, me British!

- Are you serious
- Of course I am
- Well, I am a complete Igbo guy from Anambra state, my name alone suppose to tell you my tribe
- So you don't know people with their accents anymore, it's now name
- On a serious note, our accents and names tells alot about us, if I had said that my name is Ibrahim, you would have immediately sensed that I am Hausa, that's my point
- You have a point anyway
- So what discipline
- Law, 200 levels
- Oh yea, I sensed this.
- What about you
- Guess
- Medicine
- No, one more try
- Law... Biz admin...???
- I said one more try not two. Anyway, Pharmacy 200 levels

That was the only introduction we needed and by now i wasn't holding the umbrella up, i didn't even know when I folded the umbrella. We decided to walk down the street because the rain wasn't that heavy anymore though the road was slightly floaded but we had no option. We both hit the road and at a point, I decided to back her and from that moment till we both left school, we never got separated from each other. Then came the period which majority of us go through and it's scrutiny. Her Dad had no problem that I am not a Yoruba but he wanted an assurance that she would be safe with me and that our cultural differences would not pose a threat to us. And I assured him that his worries had been taken care of under the rain years back. My parents had been supportive of all my decisions but in this case my Mother became objective...

- Nnam, onye Yoruba kwa. We sent you to Ife to study not to fall in love with a Yoruba girl. I don't support this one
- Mummy, what is wrong with me marrying Fumi, you don't support my desire simply because she is not an Igbo girl. Isn't she a human, what has tribe got to do with who we choose to spend our lives with?
- A lot my son; a lot. You have to marry a girl from the same tribe, a girl who understands your culture, a girl who can cook our kind of food, my son listen to me now I am your mother. Leave this Yoruba girl. I had always wished to see you marry from this town
- Mummy, your judgement is poor and I am disappointed that you of all people would behave this way, you don't even care about my feelings, all that matters to you is what you want but you forgot that I am the one who is going to marry the person. Well, it's either Fumi or never

That was the little challenge we faced but at the end we scaled through it all and our wedding was a display of cultural exchange. Although my mother had some reservatuons but it didn't take her time to accept Fumi because no matter what, she is her daughter in-law and the mother of her grand children. Living with Fumi and raising our family together means so much to me, our kids all speaks both Igbo and yoruba, they understand everything about both tribe, they love each other as much as they love us so each time I remember the first day fate brought us together under the rain, I begin to wonder what tribe is love in this country. We all could do great things in this country if we stop seeing each other as strangers, if we stop playing tribal politics, if we understand that we are one people, love would bond us and see us kill marginalization and ethnic cleansing.

I believe in recognizing every Nigerian as a human being not Hausa, Igbo, Yoruba, Calabar, Ibibio, Efik, Fulani and when we are dealing with each other, there shouldn't be question of integration, it should be one Nigerian marrying another Nigerian.

What tribe is love?