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When Bees Sleep - Definitely Not a Poem

Updated on April 30, 2011
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Once in a while I'll indulge myself in the freedom of Stream of Consciousness writing. This is one of those time. This is how my brain looks unedited.



Do you ever stare at the back of your hands lit up by your monitor, frozen there waiting for some kind of inspiration to strike? That's kinda like my life. I have ideas, grand ones in fact, but I’m too afraid to go after them. I mean look at every grand idea I’ve had so far.   O.K., you're right, they all worked until I eventually got bored.  Maybe I’m too smart, to not be scared now. Too old, to not be tired. Ideas take energy and in the end I’ll still be here sitting on my couch wondering, "Why?" Wondering, "Is this it?"

You have a dream, go after it, do it until it bores you, then chase another. When you step back and examine this process from a distance, it just seems futile. Kinda like a bee sucking nectar from one and then another flower. But look, there is a whole field. Do you know how many lifetimes that would take? It makes me exhausted contemplating it. Maybe it's just because I’m tired of this flower, and that pretty big red one is so far away I can’t even bring it into focus. Maybe it's a nectar induced mirage. Maybe there is no big red flower. Maybe I see it because I need something new to suck on. I can almost smell it from here. But I can’t seem to find my hunger.

Maybe the answer is not in my keyboard, maybe it's in my bed. I’ll plug back into the hive and dream of magic poppies that make all creatures sleep. In my dream the queen will lace my meal with royal jelly and I will wake with the power and drive of a hundred bees, ready to suck the life out of anything in my path. Or maybe the royal jelly will change my species and I will awake and see this drivel left on my screen. I will hit delete and we will never speak of this again.



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    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 6 years ago from Minnesota

      Randy-Sounds like your having one of those days. I have those too and glad I'm not alone. Loved reading your unedited thoughts. Very refreshing. I had to push Every button here. Sweet Dreams-

    • bbnix profile image

      bbnix 6 years ago from Southern California

      Don't forget there would be no flowers if not for bees like you...

      And as we toil, the mostly happy little bees we are, remind yourself your part of something wonderful, happening right here, right now. If you hit delete, you delete us all...

      And one last thought - I thought stream of consciousness is simply the definition of life - it's when we edit, it becomes something else, so you might as well write as breathe...no matter the consequences...and if I may, in my book, even when you breathe, given just how special you are, not even talking about the gifted writer you are, edited or not, I love you more and more each day...

    • Twilight Lawns profile image

      Twilight Lawns 6 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      I'll get back to you on that one!

      (How's that for a non-committal statement?)

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 6 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      Now all you need is a Ritz cracker.;)

    • attemptedhumour profile image

      attemptedhumour 6 years ago from Australia

      I think we all wonder if the effort is worthwhile and perhaps one day the answer will be no, but you are not allowed to slacken off as we need you. So get tapping on that keyboard please.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Hi Minnetonka Twin! I never know what is gonna strike a chord with whom. I'm glad this one worked for you.

      I almost deleted this BB as it is rather silly, but your comment stopped me. Thank you for, as always, sweet comment.

      Hey TL I said, "definitely not poetry!" :D

      MA, not Honey Grahams?

      Yes sir, Humour sir. :)

    • Cardisa profile image

      Carolee Samuda 6 years ago from Jamaica

      Randy, you have been spying on me!

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Does this hit home for you too? There must be an epidemic.

    • profile image

      Doug Turner Jr. 6 years ago

      This is the loose, half-crazed style in which great writing comes from. Seriously. We always here about the technically sound but otherwise timid writer who encounters a brick wall in life, goes nearly insane, and writes an opus. It has to come from here -- from the Id -- in order to truly stir the reader's imagination and emotions. You could probably write a novella.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Doug You've talked about Id writing before. So would you say it is writing without thinking, inspired writing or would you describe it some other way?

    • profile image

      Doug Turner Jr. 6 years ago

      Yeah, just letting the subconscious take over as much as possible. I consider this a must for all art forms. I studied acting and "losing onseself in the moment" was always preached. To strip oneself down to raw emotion and imagination.

      You write from this place all the time. That's why you rock. The imagery and metaphorical themes you weave together simply couldn't be accomplished by right-brain plotting. It has to come from dream-land.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      I read somewhere that babies and small children are almost pure Id. Something to aspire to. Thanks for saying I rock (blush).

    • W. B. Isley profile image

      W. B. Isley 6 years ago from Monett, MO

      This is a gorgeous piece of work. I have been dealing with this very thing for the last couple weeks myself. As you say it must be an epidemic. Nice work.

      I glad you didn't delete it. I needed a pick me up today.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Oh glad it was here for you WB. Sometimes when we write we don't write for ourselves at all.

    • W. B. Isley profile image

      W. B. Isley 6 years ago from Monett, MO

      No ma'am we don't. I'm just starting to discover that myself.

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