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When "I" Cried......?

Updated on May 3, 2016

When "I" Cried?

It was sunday morning and my wife Laila woke me up as I had an appointment with the Doctor at 10:30 am But it was already 9:30 so I hurried up and reached the clinic with my reports. At the clinic I was sitting in the reception for about 15 minutes. Then came the receptionist who let me in. I entered into the room wished the doctor and handed him my reports. The doctor examined the reports for about 20 minutes and asked me about my family. I was puzzled for a moment and asked him what wa wrong , the doctor told me not to lose heart as I had tumour in my heart and I cannot be cured as it was in its final stage. The doctor gave me a dead line for about a year or two and told me to live my life to the fullest. Hearing that I was almost dumbstruck and worried about my Laila and Nyra but even that very suitation did'nt bring tears in my eyes. As I was sure to make them survive with my policy money and my company share. As I was driving my way back home more and more thoughts troubled me.
Finally I reached my house and parked my car and entered into the house, there came my daughter nyra shouting "Daddy......." and hughed me. I felt the warmth of the hug new even though Nyra had hughed me a thousand times before. Then came Laila from the kitchen questioning me about the checkup. At first I hesitated then I finally revealed the truth , at that moment there was pin drop silence but my wife Laila broke the silence with a loud cry, Nyra too young to understand was puzzled and ran into her room. For her death was nothing but a "deep sleep" and so the mood of sadness continued...... Even this very suitation did'nt make me cry.
And so days passed with hope for laila. Laila believed that if "no one can, god can" and so she traveled around the country to all the temples praying for my survival.
And so my life was not like before...... no fun, no frolic, no laughter, no joy, no hope and no peace. But like the dark cave which has a small bright opening my bright opening was Nyra and her million dollar smile.
One day Nyra and I were playing in her room. Nyra told me to read a book ,a fairytale - " Pinnochio". At the end of the story Nyra said " Papa can I ask you something " and I asked her what as it .Nyra said " Papa will the fairy gently tap you with her magic wand and cure you from cancer". I was overjoyed to see a 12 years old worrying to cure her dad. I hughed Nyra and showered her with Kisses, I felt that i was the happiest dad in the world like Geppetto the father of Pinocchio.
And so days passed. weeks passed, months passed and I was nearing to my dead line. Laila soobed more and more as if her heart would break.
One day as i woke from my bed , I felt a slight pain in my chest , my legs trembled and i felt nauseating shouting "Laila......!" I fell down unconscious. When I opened my eyes I realized I was in the hospital on my bed. I finally realized that I had reached my destination. I was lying and thinking of all the good old times spent with my Laila an Nyar.
A week passed and I became pale and weak day by day. A week later the doctor entered and told me that I would hold for a day or two..... Silence prevealed. After an hour Laila and Nyra entered into the room. I was surprised to see Laila cheerful and smiling. I asked them what has happened. Nyra came forward hughed and kissed me and said " Papa your not alone Mama and I took a tablet so that we all can sleep together forever " . That very moment I felt a mixed emotiom of sadness, hopelessness, helplessness and many more........... my heart was pounding fast and I felt that there was no more oxygen in the room , my eyes burned and I bursted out with showers of tears rolling down my cheeks......... I cryed loud, very loud than ever before and took in my last breath......... And then I realized WHY DID I CRY................!

Pavithra Nandakumar
(Pace peace)

3 out of 5 stars from 2 ratings of when did i cry?


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