When all else fails write a poem and in the meantime, Be Prepared.

1. Comfortable chair (There may not be enough chairs for all waiting for their turns.)

2. Sleeping Bag (You may want to take a nap.)

3. Port-a-Jon (Chances are there are no public restrooms and others will most likely pay you to use your facilities.)

4. Your last contract and your manual to decipher the language used in the contract (Hopefully, you will get it read while you are waiting.)

5. Magnifying glass (There will be extra-small print on the contract you probably missed on the first read.)

6. Bottle of wine and glass (Perhaps, you can mellow out while you wait your turn.)

7. List of other service providers (You can make some calls and look for better deals.)

8. Notebook and Pen (You may want to jot down things you want to remember to ask.)

9. Laptop (You may want to Skype your loved ones and let them know you are okay.)

10. Your Mantra (As your wait time increases, you must find strength to hang in there.)

When all else fails, write a poem

after you have given hours of your life

to a worthy cause like Cell Phone Service, for example.

You pay for the cell

but when you need it the most

it always fails

You go to the cell phone service provider store

you wait and wait for your name to be called

to be next in line

Then finally it is your turn

and you express the frustrations

of paying for a service that does not work

Very slowly, it is explained

how your home

sits in a dead spot

How did they know?

A dead spot!

Yeah, here we go…

…and go until hours of your life have passed you by

because you have been imprisoned

in a cell…

…a month later-

After trying to return the trial phone

After spending hours again in the store

You discover that the email

between you and the

Cell block captain

now equals ten pages printed

You tell the cell block captain A.K.A. Customer Service Representative

Call me, “Kim.”

Seems like the thing to do

For you can’t have a ten page conversation

And not get to know each other

The Customer Service Rep is my cell phone service provider contact

And when all else failed,

I wrote her a poem:

I am in awe of your willingness to give it your all

I do, however, wonder if you have yet to notice I never get your call

The phone does not ring nor make any sound

'til hours later when the beep comes around

For if my phone worked like phones should

I would get your call and talk we would

This whole phone thing is a bust

I spent hours in the store

and countless email back and forth

and still I pay for service that always ends

for I am a nobody who only wants signal

a phone to work when someone calls

a phone to work when I hit send