Why I Had to Say Goodbye Before I Could Say Hello

‘‘Why I Had To Say GOODBYE,
Before I Could Say HELLO’’

I woke up when a woman is standing beside me,
She is staring at me
A woman wearing all black so as her face,
But how can I can say she is staring at me,
when her face I can’t see.
I am asking myself, Who is she?
Who is she getting a pillow wants to take off my breath and tries to kill me.

I give all my strength to fight her back
I shouted and shouted, but why they can’t hear me?
Shouting for help and trying to get them off from sleep, but why? Why they are not still awake?

I give all my strength to fight her back
But why I am so weak, so weak that she was so strong and my is now beating and beating so slowly
And the absence of heat is now I feel
She’s taking off my breath, I can no longer breathe….

But in my mind was pleasing, pleasing where my heart is now pounding, pounding so fast and hard like thunder that struck by lightning;
I breathe so deep where seconds it held
I am breathing, Yes I still!
Cause I have to, I have to fight her back
But where is she? Where is she
That woman wants to take off my breath and tries to kill me.

And now sitting unconsciously, sitting with unbearable feelings
Asking myself, is that woman who tries to kill me wants to get the precious gift of me?
No she can’t, but why?
Why I can no longer feel the naughty kicks inside of me, why I can no longer that way?
The sorrow and anguish down just can’t be explain
And now my tears fall like rain
Feeling numbed with pain like it was already a dead end.

The precious gift given, why she is not for me? Why?
Why I had to say goodbye, before I could say hello
Why I was to cry in dead end, before I could kiss her forehead and sweet cheeks, seeing her sweet smiles and gleaming stars on her face
And embraced by my safety arms.

Why I had to say goodbye, before I could say hello
Where I wish I could have told her,
Told her how much I love you
And now told her how much I miss you so.

In every seconds that turns to a minute
Just staring at the wall uninterrupted,
To an hour full of threatening thoughts
That turns to a day of actions I brought.
The horror days and weeks that turns into a month.
Months crowded of yesterday’s illusion, where I was all alone locked in thorns of breath as tears of death.

But suddenly you showed up,
You showed me the knob in the hidden walls and a needle of light which I am longing for.
A light you gave that you never the woman wearing that dark that mark;
Mark of unbearable pain and mark that anytime may regain.

And I promise, I promise to myself that I won’t never forget
When you showed me the knob and light
Where months I forgot and blind, so down and wrath.
And I promise, I promise to myself that I won’t never forget
That in my heart is where she will forever stay and that we will meet someday.