Cats Are Just Furry Toddlers
1. They have their own special food, but still want yours, even if they don't like it.
2. Yesterday's favorite food is inedible today. Please eat it. You like it. Please eat it!
3. An incredible amount of time and energy is spent containing and disposing of poop. This is also a costly venture.
4. They hate to wear shoes. Do they even need to? This is debatable.
5. Small animals must be chased. If it squeaks, flies, scurries, jumps - it is game.
6. No matter how perfect the toy or bed, the box is better.
7. Your bed is better than theirs.
8. Bathroom privacy no longer exists. You will be followed, stared at, rushed. Also, you might need to hide that toilet paper. That is also better than toys.
9. Vomit can happen at any time, in any place, for any reason. Surprise!
10. There are toys everywhere. You are always stepping on them. You have no idea how they have multiplied. You need more.
11. Midnight or later is prime activity level. For them, not you.
12. "What is in your mouth? Oh, no. Don't eat that. Where did you get that? Spit that out!" This is accompanied by running and wrestling.
13. They know when you are trying to catch them. Such little legs. How do they run so fast? Get back here!
14. They have their own special doctor. They do not like to go there.
15. Need medication? Good Luck! Remember, patience is a virtue.
16. You find yourself googling things you never thought possible.
17. Everyone else is an expert on yours while theirs runs amok.
18. Why are you crying? Please stop crying. What do you neeeed?!
19. You have given up on spotless carpets. That stain? That was your coffee. That one over there? That was his lunch.
20. That adorable look of mischief. You want to be mad. But, oh, that look.
21. Regarding nearly everything you own: "Can they reach this?" The answer is always "yes".
22. CRASH "This is why I can't have nice things"
23. You feel like a snack/treat dispenser. You are.
24. You speak baby talk more than adult conversation.
25. You make the rules. Just kidding!
26. You feel like you will never sleep in again. You wont.
27. They require a special seat/carrier to go out. They do not like this. They are born to run free!
28. Pictures, lots of pictures. So many pictures. Do you want to see a picture?
29. They are adorable when they play, sleep, eat, breathe. You have pictures of all of this.
30. They are independent but need you for everything.
31. They drive you crazy and keep you sane.
32. Yours is the very best one. You are not wrong.
34. Unconditional Love
35. You can't imagine life without their crazy little self.