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Poem About Feet

Updated on July 24, 2012
Crocs - I should have worn these
Crocs - I should have worn these

A Poem About Feet


"Will you dance?"

"No, I'm sorry I don't dance,

I've a bunion like an onion

and some corns that give me jip,

This floor is hard,

These boards look waxed,

I'm scared that I might slip.

Besides, I have a blister

and I think it's going to burst,

When it comes to feet,

You know I really am accused.

I have got verrucas

the like of which would make you pale,

There's very little foot-wise

from which I do not ail.

Hey there!

Where are you going?

Oh no!

What did I say?

Don't let my ingrown toenails

get in romance's way.

Oh dear, looks like I've blown it,

It seems I just can't win it.

Just when I think I've found someone,

I put my big feet in it!


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    • Jools99 profile image
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      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Maria, I am now 50 plus 1 day but had a blast yesterday! Great weekend so far, loads of fun. I fear poetry's days are numbered on this site, such a shame!

    • Jools99 profile image
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      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      CripSp, many thanks for viewong and commenting - it still makes me chuckle - thankfully, my feet are not really as described here!

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      " I've a bunion like an onion..."

      Yeah, welcome to "50"' girlfriend! You are so darned funny...

      Loved this, Voted UP and FAB!

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Very clever! Chuckle and more chuckle! Thanks to Sunshine625 (Linda) for sharing this on FB. Oh, and I've heard, it's your birthday. So, happy birthday!

      Love from the sky~

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Thanks Linda! And thanks for reading my poetry (again!)

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Happy Birthday Jools!!! May your next 50 years be just as awesome as your first 50!!!

    • Jools99 profile image
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      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      ImKarn23, yes indeed! Many thanks for your comment.

    • Jools99 profile image
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      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      travmaj, we have all had issues at some time other with out feet. Thanks so much for your comment :o)

    • Jools99 profile image
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      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Rich, thanks so much :o), it does gets bits and bobs of traffic but poetry is on its way out of HP I reckon :o(

    • Jools99 profile image
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      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Debby glad you liked it, many thanks for your comment.

    • Jools99 profile image
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      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Martie - thanks for your comment, advice heeded :o)

    • Jools99 profile image
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      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Daisy, many thanks - feet are certainly an unusual subject for poetry :o)

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      LOL...gotta love someone who leads with BOTH feet! Ha-ha-ha-larious, thank you..

    • travmaj profile image

      travmaj 4 years ago from australia

      Jools - I truly identify with the words in your poem - a great write and humorous, made me laugh. Ahhh to be young - from pointed toe stilettos to flat lace up horrors -

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Julie - I loved this! It's funny as ... and extremely witty! Hope this helps to get the score up some! Really is much better than most of the stuff that's out there! Great Job!

    • Debby Bruck profile image

      Debby Bruck 4 years ago

      Jools ~ Loved this conversation between the feet, sounding like middle-ages or seniors showing their oats, and how they two-stepped and found they parted ways at the end of the story. Blessings, Debby

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 4 years ago from South Africa

      LOL! This was about putting your big foot in. Don't do it again, jools! Lol!

    • Daisy Mariposa profile image

      Daisy Mariposa 4 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

      Julie,

      I came back to read your poem a second time. I love poetry about unusual subjects. Well done!

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Beeter to laugh at feet than scream at them - could lead to so many awkward moments in shoe shops :o) Thanks for your repeat visit Dana, I appreciate it.

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      came back to read this again because it is awesome! Makes me giggle and sqirm at the same time. fantastic!

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Jen, many thanks for your comment - feet are to be laughed at!

    • Jools99 profile image
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      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      My feet need a regular treat :o) Thanks for the comment.

    • jenbeach21 profile image

      jenbeach21 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Thanks for the laugh. I am not a foot person but I found this funny.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      The feet can't be beat with this treat! :)

    • Jools99 profile image
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      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      fpherj48, glad it tickled your funny bone :o), many thanks for your comment.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Jools99 ..how cute..how sweet...how wiggly and funny!! Love your tribute to FEET!! UP & funny!!

    • Jools99 profile image
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      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Annie, many thanks for your great comment. Yes, this is a great (albeit fictional) deterrent for avoiding an unwanted encounter.

    • Fennelseed profile image

      Annie Fenn 5 years ago from Australia

      Yes, laughing too!!! Beautifully funny and a useful ploy should you want to deter someone from romantic advances, but otherwise, yes this is really putting your foot in your mouth!!! Love your poetry!! My votes and best wishes to you Jools and sharing.

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      KDuBarry03 5 years ago

      haha! Reminds me of hobbits! They're real afterall! haha

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Daisy - glad I got your little toes on the move! I have lovely feet now, it was not always so in my youth :o(

      Dana, yes, share it with your mam, she will read it and sigh knowingly!

      Lesley - glad I tickled your funny bone today.

      Keith - I used to work with a girl who had huge feet, they were more like flippers than feet, weird.

    • profile image

      KDuBarry03 5 years ago

      Hilarious! I have a friend who's 5'8" and has size 16 men shoes. Isn't that insane??

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Fabulous - so funny!

      Voting up!

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Absolutely love this. I have an odd aversion to feet. Except those of kids and one of my friends who has beautiful feet. I love how you celebrated all the comically gross foot ailments in such a fun way. I will definitely share this with my mother on her Facebook. She always grossed me out as a kid by showing me her corny toes! :)

    • Daisy Mariposa profile image

      Daisy Mariposa 5 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

      Julie,

      My toes began wiggling as I read this. They enjoyed your poem as much as I did.

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Audrey, written a long time ago when I was still a stilletoed twenty-something who partied hard on Saturday nights and soaked my poor disfigured hooves on a Sunday morning....ah, happy days!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      Isn't this piece a hoot (a "foot")???

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Thanks Linda. They are aching today actually, maybe I should write another poem :o)

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      I'm back for another laugh at the funny feet!:)

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      tillsontitan, thanks for your kind comment, Yup,my high heel wearing days are over :o)

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      No toe fluff here! This was truly one we can all relate too (at least everyone in my generation). Loved it and voted up and awesome.

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Gus - thanks for dropping by and leaving your comment, I appreciate it!

      copywriter31 - many thanks for your kind comment.

    • copywriter31 profile image

      James Ranka 5 years ago from Port Neches

      Very creative and well-written!

    • GusTheRedneck profile image

      Gustave Kilthau 5 years ago from USA

      Howdy Jools99 - Not quite footloose and fancy-free, but fun to read. Maybe it is OK to call it a toe-tapper.

      Gus -)))

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Kelley - glad this raised a smile.

      Klarawieck - glad you enjoyed it!

      Thank you both for commenting.

    • profile image

      klarawieck 5 years ago

      You've made me smile! Thank you!

    • profile image

      kelleyward 5 years ago

      ha ha I'm LOL. What a cute idea for a poem. Very much enjoyed! Voted up and shared! Take care, Kelley

    • Jools99 profile image
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      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Rahul, I am glad it made you smile, thanks for commenting!

    • rahul0324 profile image

      Jessee R 5 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      LOL! funny feet! loved the poem :)

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      LastBabyBoomer, thanks so much for your lovely comment!

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Audrey, I wrote this a long time ago and it was once published in a women's magazine - my only publishing success ever! I decided to 're-pimp' it here on HP. By the way, it is completely fictional, I have lovely feet! Thanks so much for dropping by and commenting, I appreciate it.

    • TheLastBabyBoomer profile image

      Deborah Turner 5 years ago from Surprise Arizona

      Very cute. I enjoyed it, and so did my feet!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      Jools, I just had to chuckle at this! What a funny piece!

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Victoria, thanks for your comment and the votes etc, much appreciated.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      So funny and adorable. Great rhythm. Voted up and others!

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Tallulah, thanks! Glad I was able to brighten your day :)

    • Talullah profile image

      Talullah 5 years ago from SW France

      Made me laugh out loud!

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Sunshine and Albertjs -thanks for your comments; feet are as good a poetry subject as other to me, I write about anything (or sometimes nothing :) )

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Carl and Tammy, thanks so much for your kind comments, I thought this little hub was gathering toe fluff and was long forgotten....aw, that's cheered me right up knowing you both found it.

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Whew.. that is tough. I don't like people looking at my feet, touching them, or sitting next to them. I could never deal with someone who had a foot fetish. :) Cute poem. Voting up!

    • CarltheCritic1291 profile image

      Carl 5 years ago

      Haha! Jools99 you are awesome, great work! Voted Up, Funny and Awesome

    • albertsj profile image

      jacy albertson 5 years ago from Lake Mary, Fl

      This is kind of brilliant. I mean who elso writes poetry about feet? : ) Voted up & funny.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Funny tribute poem for our feet!!:)

    • Ladybird33 profile image

      Ladybird33 5 years ago from Fabulous USA

      Love this! You have a talent, enjoy it! We are!!!

    • Jools99 profile image
      Author

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      I think I may be a 'brand new' Jools; thank you for your kind comments.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 5 years ago

      ...great wit .... great writing .......are you the same of Jools of 'old' - or are you a new Jools with a new look - either way I could instantly recognize your inimitable style - and so nice to see and hear from you again - hope you've had a safe happy and productive summer - lake erie time 11:05am ontario canada

    • InspiredHippy profile image

      Becky Jo Gibson 5 years ago from Old Town, California

      ~laughing~ Good read, thanks!

      Be blessed,

      Becky Jo aka Inspired Hippy

    • wildove5 profile image

      wildove5 5 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

      Very cute! My friend has Fred Flinstone feet, this I will share with her! Thank you for the chuckle!